One Writer's World

When Less Is More - The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan

2010-11-15T06:32:00.000-08:00

Ah, this is my kind of writing:

When Less Is More - The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan

Visual Representation of my Degree

2009-09-13T09:51:00.000-07:00

I don't know that this is all that creative, but I like it because it's simple. The quotation from Genesis explains why I think it's important to take care of the earth, and the recycling shows I'm doing it. The tree is a good background. :D

Earth Day 2009

2009-04-22T13:40:00.000-07:00

“Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but be an example to the believers in your speech, your conduct, your love, faith, and purity.”
1 Timothy 4:12

As you’re probably aware, today is Earth Day. UIS is celebrating Earth Week this week, and the big presentation for the week was last night. This year, the presentation was given by Chad Pregracke, the founder and president of Living Lands and Waters, a company that cleans up America’s rivers.

I’ll be honest: I was really hesitant to go last night. I really enjoyed last year’s speaker and took lots of notes (which I think I still have around here somewhere), and even though I think it’s great that someone is out there cleaning up the rivers, it’s not my primary interest, and I was afraid I wouldn’t connect with what he was saying.

I was so wrong. Chad has a very interesting story, and he’s damn funny about telling it. There were no slides, no powerpoint, and no lecture. It was just him and his story.

He was raised in the Quad cities and became concerned about the health of the Mississippi River when he was in his teens. While still in college in 1997, he decided that he wanted to clean up the river, so he set out to get funding so he could get another boat and a crew. Only one company was interested, so they gave him money to go out and do it himself, which is exactly what he did. Chad told us that during the first two or three weeks he was cleaning up the beaches, people would pull up to his boat and ask who he was and what he was doing. He’d tell them, and his quest apparently impressed a few people, because a local paper asked him for an interview. He says he hated the interview, and was embarrassed when the AP picked it up the next day. Soon after that, CNN called for an interview. Soon after that, Chad got more funding from companies who saw his dedicated solo venture, and he was able to get another boat and a crew. A barge followed. Yes, a barge. The funny story about the barge is that it came about because he wanted to be more efficient. Instead of spending several days a week unloading, he wanted to only spend a few days a year unloading the garbage for recycling. So he thought it might be a good idea to get a barge. He called a barge company to see if by chance they had any, and the man on the phone said, “Yeah, we’ve got some. Who’d you hear about it from?”

“Well, no one. Why?”

As it turns out, the barge company had four barges they were going to get rid of, the first time they were going to get rid of any if several years. They scrapped three and gave Chad the best one they had. Chad didn’t know anything about it before he called the company. (To me, that’s a God moment)

Chad said two things that struck me not only as being the point to his presentation, but struck me personally. The first is that there are thousands of people who care about our streams, rivers, and environment. He added here that he had created an opportunity for them to do something positive. Second, he said, “Anything you want to do is totally feasible. Think outside the box. Think about what you want to do and do it.”

When I first started this degree program, I was really a rookie and had no idea what people of faith were saying about the environmental movement. I’m still pretty much a rookie, but now that I’m in my second semester of studying stewardship, I have a better idea of what’s being said, and there are a lot of Christians who take environmental stewardship seriously. That’s great news for me personally, but I’ve often been left with the thought, “Well what more could I say that hasn’t already been said?” I’ve found myself in different stages of discouragement, especially lately as I’ve tried to write about stewardship in general and environmental stewardship in particular.

When I was seventeen, I thought God was calling me to be a pastor, but I wasn’t really sure, and I was afraid that I wasn’t hearing God right or at all. Knowing that I was discouraged, a pastor friend of mine wrote me a letter, encouraging me seek God’s will for my life. He quoted the passage from 1 Timothy that I wrote above, knowing that even for people considering full time ministry, I was very young.

What he wanted me to know, and what Chad’s presentation reinforced, was that anyone of any age can make a difference. One person can make a difference. It doesn’t matter that other people might be doing the same thing. What matters is that each of us is doing the thing we’re supposed to be doing, whether it’s cleaning up the rivers, recycling, reducing our consumption, or sharing with others why it’s important to be a good steward of the environment.

For more information on Living Lands and Waters, visit the Living Lands and Waters site. Happy Earth Day! Celebrate Earth Day by remembering the Creator and being a good steward of His creation.

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"Mankind is No Island"

2009-04-09T06:36:00.000-07:00

I promise I'll get back to the academic stuff soon. Fortunately, I think the things I've posted the last few days have shown the practical side of being a good steward and/or being a follower of Jesus.

This YouTube video will give you an idea of what started this whole process for me. It's heartwrenching - but sometimes it's good to have your heart torn like this.

Torture

2009-04-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

Taking time out of my regularly scheduled stewardship musings again today to bring you another message from Andrew Sullivan.

This is about torture, folks. It's not for the squeamish, and it's not for those that want to ignore what the former Administration authorized in Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo:

Torture

The one symbol as offensive as the Bush administration's decision to use Abu Ghraib prison for the deployment of cruel and inhuman punishment of prisoners was the use of former Soviet black sites for other "interrogations" of high value suspects. But I never felt this resonance as viscerally as I do after reading this. The parallels with the Gestapo "enhanced interrogation" program have been established. But Mark Danner shows the Soviet parallels - explains them physically and psychologically - in really helpful, if chilling, ways. Take this example of classic torture methods from the Soviet State Political Directorate (GPU):

They consisted usually of tying the victim in a strait-jacket to an iron bunk. The strait-jacket was his only clothing; he had no blanket, no food and was unable to go to the lavatory. With a gag in his mouth and a stopper in his rectum he would be given periodic beatings with rubber poles.

Now compare what Bush and Cheney authorized:

In the “black sites,” the same end was achieved by forced nudity and what the Red Cross terms, in its chapter of the same name, “prolonged use of handcuffs and shackles.” One of the fourteen detainees, for example, tells the Red Cross investigators that
he was kept for four and a half months continuously handcuffed and seven months with the ankles continuously shackled while detained in Kabul in 2003/4. On two occasions, his shackles had to be cut off his ankles as the locking mechanism had ceased to function, allegedly due to rust.

This technique, like other of the “alternative set of procedures” detailed by the Red Cross, seems to have been consistently applied to many of the fourteen “high-value” detainees. Walid bin Attash told the Red Cross investigators that

he was kept permanently handcuffed and shackled throughout his first six months of detention. During the four months he was held in his third place of detention, when not kept in the prolonged stress standing position [with his hands shackled to the ceiling], his ankle shackles were allegedly kept attached by a one meter long chain to a pin fixed in the corner of the room where he was held.

As with the GPU set of procedures, prisoners were kept naked, deprived of blankets, mattresses, and other necessities, and deprived of food. As for “the stopper in the rectum,” it was supplied by the GPU to deal with the practical if unpleasant problem of how to cope, in the case of a person who is naked and entirely under restraint and at the same time experiencing prolonged and extreme pain, with the inevitable consequences of his bodily functions. The Americans at the “black sites,” who had also to face this unpleasant necessity, particularly when holding detainees in “stress positions,” for example, forcing them for many days to stand naked with their hands shackled to a bolt in the ceiling and their ankles shackled to a bolt in the floor, developed their own equivalent:

While being held in this position some of the detainees were allowed to defecate in a bucket. A guard would come to release their hands from the bar or hook in the ceiling so that they could sit on the bucket. None of them, however, were allowed to clean themselves afterwards. Others were made to wear a garment that resembled a diaper. This was the case for Mr. Bin Attash in his fourth place of detention. However, he commented that on several occasions the diaper was not replaced so he had to urinate and defecate on himself while shackled in the prolonged stress standing position. Indeed, in addition to Mr. Bin Attash, three other detainees specified that they had to defecate and urinate on themselves and remain standing in their own bodily fluids.

One turns, finally, to those “periodic beatings with rubber poles” that the GPU administered. No rubber poles are to be found in the Red Cross report. Once again, Agabuse though, as with the stopper in the rectum and the diapers, the rubber poles simply represent the GPU’s practical solution to a problem shared by the CIA at the “black sites”: How can one beat a detainee repeatedly without causing debilitating or permanent injury that might make him unfit for further interrogation? How, that is, to get the pain and its effect while minimizing the physical consequences?

Where the GPU responded by developing rubber poles, the CIA created its plastic collar, “an improvised thick collar or neck roll,” as the Red Cross investigators describe it in Chapter 1.3.3 (“Beating by use of a collar”), that “was placed around their necks and used by their interrogators to slam them against the walls.” Though six of the fourteen detainees report the use of the “thick plastic collar,” which, according to Khaled Shaik Mohammed, would then be “held at the two ends by a guard who would use it to slam me repeatedly against the wall,” it is plain that this particular technique was perfected through experimentation. Indeed, the plastic collar seems to have begun as a rather simple mechanism: an everyday towel that was looped around the neck, the ends gathered in the guard’s fist. The collar appeared later and brought with it other innovations:

Mr. Abu Zubaydah commented that when the collar was first used on him in his third place of detention, he was slammed directly against a hard concrete wall. He was then placed in a tall box for several hours (see Section 1.3.5, Confinement in boxes). After he was taken out of the box he noticed that a sheet of plywood had been placed against the wall. The collar was then used to slam him against the plywood sheet. He thought that the plywood was in order to absorb some of the impact so as to avoid the risk of physical injury.

Let's ignore the political context completely and get right to the heart of the matter for me. No one is perfect. I am not. Former President Bush is not. President Obama is not. All three of us claim to follow Christ.

Somehow, I highly doubt Jesus would advocate torture. Yet former President Bush, former Vice President Cheney, and their administration allegedly authorized this kind of activity in these two prisons. Is this the kind of love we're supposed to show for our enemies? Or more to the point, is this the kind of love we're supposed to show for our neighbor? If you need a reminder about who our neighbor is, you can read this post from back in October 2008 from this blog, or you can go directly to Luke 10:25-37 to see the Story of the Good Samaritan.

I cannot comment on President Bush's faith. If he says that he is a Christian, I have no choice but to believe him; to do otherwise gets too deeply into the "Judge not, lest ye be judged" territory. His faith is between him and God. But his actions, if he indeed did this (and the evidence is becoming more and more overwhelming), were wrong. Torturing human beings, even under the presumption of guilt, is wrong. It is one thing to punish a person for his or her crimes, but it is quite another to strip them of their dignity and their will to live, to humiliate them and hurt them, just to prove a point.

This was torture, plain and simple. It was wrong. Are we, as Christians, to be peacemakers or warmongers? Are we to love our enemies or hate them?

Where is the Church?

2009-04-06T07:43:00.000-07:00

I read Andrew Sullivan's blog, The Daily Dish, well... daily. For the past month or two, he's been running posts called "The View from Your Recession," posts describing how his readers are dealing with economic issues right now. Most of them are pretty much what you might expect right now, though some are more positive than we would think. Few have been horrible; yes, losing one's job in the middle of this mess with no hope in sight is horrible, but not as horrible as Saturday's "The View From Your Recession":

A reader writes:

I work for the state child welfare agency for Missouri. We have been routinely asked if the economy has affected the amount of child abuse and child neglect hotline calls that are made or the number of kids coming into foster care. So far, it has not. We assume that because most of our clients are already soaking in poverty that the economic downturns don't affect them because they currently survive in that same circumstance.

This is no longer the case. Today, we had our first child enter foster care because the parent's unemployment ran out and the parent could no longer care for them. The economy is now affecting us.

And so I interrupt my normal pseudo-academic rants on stewardship to ask this question: Where is the Church?

I want you to put yourself in this parent's shoes for a moment. You are out of a job and looking for something, anything, that might allow you to support your family. Then one day, the unemployment checks run out, and you still have a child you have to support. What do you do? Where are all your friends and family to help you? If you had no money and no job in sight, could you give your child up to the state because you couldn't support that child?

I don't know if I could do that.

But (maybe) the more important question is this: where is the church? Where are the people called and commanded to be the hands and feet of Jesus, especially in the difficult times? Where are the people who should have been offering to help pay this family's bills, bringing them food, buying them groceries, and doing everything they could to make sure that this child didn't have to go to foster care. Where were they? Where are they?

Why are we, who claim to follow Christ, turning our eyes and ears away from those in need?

http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d83451c45669e201156ed8f32d970c

Creation by E.O. Wilson

2009-04-03T14:36:00.000-07:00

In my opinion and experience, one of the hardest gaps to bridge between environmentalism and faith is the subject of origins. Many hardcore conservationists have science degrees and believe in evolution; many hardcore conservatives believe in creation. There are a lot people in the world who ride that gap, who believe that God created the world and has allowed evolution to ensue from that act of creation.

Then there are people like me, who really don’t like to talk about it and will only do so with those people who we know won’t roll their eyes at us and give us that “You’re a damn fool” look.

When I started my “career” at UIS, I was fortunate enough to take a class called Evolution vs. Creationism, taught by a man who had one degree in evolutionary biology (I forget if it was the MS or PhD thought) and was a non-religious Reform Jew. Obviously, he believed in evolution. But what I liked so much about that class was that Dr. Levin was so open-minded that he taught us the science behind evolution and brought in other people to teach about creation. Throughout the course, we heard from a Catholic priest, a Conservative Rabbi, a Presbyterian minister, and read books by people who believed in Creation Science (which isn’t science, by the way, but I digress). He wasn’t condescending to those of us who believed in creation and went out of his way to make sure he didn’t say anything that would offend us. I took that class six years ago and still look fondly on it. It’s because of that class that I find evolution so fascinating and can participate in a conversation about it – a good thing as I’ve been doing a lot of that the past year.

In Environmental Studies, no one asks if you believe in evolution; they seem to just assume that you do. So very few people understand the internal struggle I have when I have to talk about evolution. Very few people know that I believe in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. It’s not that I intentionally keep quiet about my faith, it’s that it doesn’t ever come up.

My official stance on evolution and creation – the one that curious people get when they ask what I think – is that I believe God created the earth. If He did that in six literal days with one literal day of rest, fine. If He created the earth and set evolution in motion, fine. The important thing to me is that He created it.

Unofficially? I’m a pretty literal Creationist, think God created everything from amoebas to dinosaurs, and I don’t really have any idea if a day in Genesis is defined as a twenty-four hour period or an eon. What is really important to me though is that God created it all, and He called it good.

In The Creation: An Appeal to Save Life on Earth, Dr. E.O. Wilson invites a Christian pastor into a discussion on the environment. Dr. Wilson wants science to reach out to religion so that the religious could help save the planet. Wilson says,

“I write to you now for your counsel and help. Of course, in doing so, I see no way to avoid the fundamental differences in our respective world views. You are a literalist interpreter of Christian Holy Scripture… I am a secular humanist… Does this difference in worldview separate us in all things? It does not. You and I and every other human being strive for the same imperatives of security, freedom of choice, personal dignity, and a cause to believe in that is much larger than ourselves.
“Let us see then, if you are willing, to meet on the near side of metaphysics in order to deal with the real world we share. I put it this way because you have the power to help solve a great problem about which I care deeply. I hope you have the same concern. I suggest we set aside our difference in order to save the Creation. The defense of living Nature is a universal value. It doesn’t rise from, nor does it promote, any religious or ideological dogma. Rather, it serves without discrimination the interest of all humanity.
Pastor, we need you help. The Creation – living Nature – is in deep trouble” (Wilson 3-4).

In Creation, Dr. Wilson teaches a few of the basics of evolution, but mostly he talks about the wonder and beauty of the natural world, how it works, and why it is so important to us. Why? His stated purpose is “to grasp and discuss on common ground this purpose: because we are part of it, the fate of the Creation is the fate of humanity” (Wilson 14). Don’t believe that we are part of the creation? The second creation account says that God made Adam from the soil and clay. That’s pretty much part of creation right there. Don’t think that the fate of God’s creation determines our own fate? Consider the first creation account. On day one, God made the light. Light is heat and energy. On day two, He separated the sea from the sky. The sea didn’t freeze because there was heat, and the separated sky will allow a breathable atmosphere. On day three, God separated the land from the sea. Now there is a place for plants to grow. Day four, God created vegetation! Trees that fruit, plants that seed. Both hold the soil together and prevent the land from going back into the sea. They also provide food for the creatures God would be creating later. God also created the moon and stars that day. The creation of our sun allowed more light, heat, and energy to reach the earth, allowing plants to grow. On day five, God created the living creatures in the seas and the birds. The seas were alive, the skies were alive, and neither was any longer sterile. On day six, God created the living creatures on the land. And finally, God created man.

Without all that God had created before, man could not survive. Without light and heat, we would freeze. Without land, we would drown. Without sea, we’d die of dehydration. Without soil and vegetation, we’d starve. Without atmosphere, we’d suffocate. We are completely dependent on what God created before He created us.

Since Wilson’s book is filled with a lot a science, I won’t go into many more details about the book itself. What I will tell you is that reading Creation was a lot like Dr. Levin’s class: Wilson does not condescend to the faithful or make them feel silly for being so. Instead, he feels that while science has the method to save the planet, faith and the faithful have the power to change the attitudes of others. Faith is a strong driver for change, and Wilson seems to think that if we are going to save the planet, we need the help of those of us who believe in God.

Planet Awakening

2009-03-19T10:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I read “Planet Awakening” by Patricia Waak, a former Senior Advisor on population for Audubon and currently the Chair of the Colorado Democratic Committee. I read this on the recommendation of my adviser, who (I hope I get this right) worked with Ms. Waak on interfaith environmental issues through Audubon. He recommended this book because it talks about the intersection of faith and environment; so, right up my alley.

This far in my education, human population hasn’t been discussed much. We talked about population the most in my env econ class last spring and touched on it a bit in env ethics last semester. When population has been discussed, it has been mostly about population of other species and how we can avoid extinction for those that are vulnerable or endangered. When human population has been discussed, people have been afraid to say anything. “Planet Awakening” takes on the issue of human population and how it relates to the environment.

I’ll start off by saying that this is probably the fairest, most impartial and positive review of Christian environmental thought that I think I’ve read. It’s an extremely fair and positive review of every religion Ms. Waak covers (ancient indigenous religious practices, Judaism, Islam, and Buddhism), but she talks about Catholic and various Protestant denominational thought the most as they deal with population, and I was impressed by what I read.

I think Christians and Christianity get a bad rap when people start talking about environmental issues, and in some sense I think it’s rightfully so, but I also feel that sometimes, many people want to only see the bad about Christianity. When discussing population, Christianity is all over the place. Some people feel that the command to be fruitful and multiply still applies today, even though we live in a world where we can’t feed and clothe all the people we’re producing. Some Christians feel that we should do all we can to control population without stepping outside some ethical boundaries. And there are people who are everywhere in between.

Waak says, “Our calling as theologians, pastors, spiritual directors, and lay persons is to reframe the dialogue around population growth and consumption, and bring to bear ethical and spiritual principles, without pretending to have answers to these complex sets of problems” (Waak 14). Why is human population such a big issue for the environment? Practically, more people in the world means that more resources will get used. It’s that simple. For each person that is born, more land has to be converted to farmland or housing. The loss of this land destroys ecosystems, speeds soil erosion, and contributes to climate change (through plant loss). More people = more consumption.

In theory, talking about population growth is a good thing. In reality, we avoid it because it brings up all sorts of sticky issues. In America, infanticide is a crime; in other countries and/or cultures, infanticide is practiced as a means to control population. How do we tell some of these indigenous cultures, like the Bakairi Indians of Brazil (Picchi 65), that their population control practices are wrong? In many countries, not just Western or developed, abortion is used to control population. Even the subject of birth control and contraception is difficult to talk about because some people believe that all forms of hormonal and barrier contraception, as well as sterilization, are morally wrong (there are many reasons for this). So if we really need to talk about population, but we have a hard time talking about how to deal with a growing population through preventative measures, we then have some acute difficulty in coming up with a workable solution. But we MUST talk about population growth, because more people means more consumption of resources.

In America, we are blessed to have the means and education to prevent unwanted pregnancies (which, if used correctly, work most of the time. That people disregard this information is a completely different blog post). We look around to see average sized families with two to three kids and wonder, “Where is overpopulation taking place?” Then we see pictures of starving people in Africa and Asia, particularly young children, and a light goes off – sort of. “Oh, so it’s the poor people who are having too many kids. How is this my problem? I know how to prevent that, and I do. Maybe they should learn to prevent all those pregnancies as well.”

Waak says we need to be careful here: “Many women’s rights advocates fear that by acknowledging the relationship between population growth and environment they will ‘blame’ poor women for environmental degradation” (Waak 31). Blaming the poor anywhere for this problem is a twofold problem. First, the poor, especially in other countries, don’t have access to contraception and gynecological care. In countries where women are seen as second or even third class citizens, girls and women can’t go to school for a basic education, much less receiving information on human reproduction.

But the second problem with this statement is that while people in poor countries might have bigger families, each person is using far fewer resources than a family of four in developed countries, especially America. The poor in third world nations have little access to electricity and running water. They don’t eat as much food, especially meat or animal products, and most of their food comes from local places less than 200 miles away. They don’t drive or fly, and they don’t have the things we have (toys, computers, clothing, appliances, etc). So while there might be more people, they use fewer resources.

I’ll illustrate. For fun, I went to My Footprint and took the quiz to see what my ecofootprint would be here in Springfield, in Brazil as a Bakairi Indian, and as an Ethiopian. For my own results - and this is me eating no meat and very little fish, recycling what the city will allow, having a smallish home, driving little, and using as many ecofriendly products as possible, FAMILY OF THREE – if everyone lived like me, we would need 3.66 earths for all of us to survive. Ouch. As a Bakairi Indian – little need for transportation, they grow most of their own food, eat little meat and hunt/fish for what they do, small houses with no electricity or running water, FAMILY OF 5+ – we would need 0.26 earths for all of us to survive. As an Ethiopian – tiny houses, no electricity or running water, in the middle of a severe drought, what little food they have they grow or hunt, little need for transportation, FAMILY OF 5+ – we’d need 0.08 earths. Look at those numbers again and come up with a good reason for us to blame the poor who have large families, when we who have small families use vastly greater amounts of resources.

How can we reframe the dialogue around population and consumption? I think we first need to admit that while population is definitely a problem, the bigger problem is consumption. Yes, we need to worry about population growth in other countries, and “The poor need to share in the human commitment to change so that life on the planet can be sustainable for all. But to make an appeal for that commitment credible, the rest of the world must address not merely its own salvation, but the relief of poverty as well” (Waak 68) and “If we are to be good stewards of the earth, we must strive to make our planet just and sustainable for all. We must care about and care for each of the six billion people – and more to come” (Waak 78).

Most people would consider forcible population control unethical. But should people really be allowed to have as many children as they see fit? Large families pose ethical questions themselves: consider Nadya Suleman, who recently gave birth to 8 children through in-vitro fertilization and already had 6 young children at home; or Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, who have eighteen (or nineteen) children and will probably have another one on the way soon, if the pattern continues. Should Ms. Suleman or the Duggars be allowed to have that many children? Is it our right as individuals to have as many children as we want? Why do people have that many children, especially when there are children in our own country who don’t have homes or families? Can we control population through policy and still be considered ethical, especially if people like the Duggars continue to have children because they believe “be fruitful and multiply” still applies today, a tenet of their own faith?

Next week, I’ll be interviewing Ms. Waak and will post some of that interview here in the following days.

Picchi, Debra. The Bakairi Indians of Brazil. Long Grove, IL: Waveland Press, 2006.

Transformation (Green Ink 2)

2009-03-17T13:09:00.000-07:00

I became a Christian when I was in high school, late in my junior year. That summer, I got a t-shirt similar to this one:

The t-shirt I had also had Romans 12:2 written on it:

“Be not conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is - His good, pleasing, and perfect will.”

While my transformation as a follower of Christ began when I was sixteen, my transformation into a steward of the environment didn’t start until I was thirty-one. I think I’ve told that story numerous times, so I’ll give you the condensed version, which starts out with a geopolitics paper on soybeans and all their uses. There was a long period of thinking about what I’d written in that paper before I took any other steps. I wanted to become a vegetarian, but I wasn’t sure I could really give up meat. And then in August after I turned thirty-two, I just sort of slipped into it. Jeff was gone for work for a few days, and I didn’t eat any meat during that time, mainly because I didn’t feel like cooking it. Once I realized that not only had I not eaten any meat for that time but that I didn’t even miss it that I much, becoming a vegetarian was much easier. About six months after that, I started recycling (some of us are late bloomers!). Six months after that, I started this MA program. And now I want to retrofit my house with various (expensive) energy projects. Including trying to figure out how to get a green roof onto our sloped roof. Or a windmill. I think the huge tree in the front yard probably prevents solar panels up there…

My transformation into who I am today didn’t happen overnight. Most transformations don’t.

I’m talking about transformations because of this Frome quote:

“Along the way I came to believe that society needs a transformation, a viewpoint of human concern to counter injustice and greed. The spiritual ecological dimension of writing with green ink provides a way of life with its own rewards” (Frome 171).

I also believe that society needs a transformation. If you ask me what I think is the most important transformation that needs to happen, I would say that people need to come to know Jesus and have their minds transformed and renewed. (Some of you disagree with me about the Jesus part, and that’s OK; we each have our own religious world view.) The next transformation would be that we all follow the two greatest commandments, as given by Jesus, which sum up all the laws: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself.

In my opinion, when one loves God and loves one’s neighbor, everything else follows, including being a better steward – not just of the environment, but of all that God has blessed us with. Human concern to counter injustice and greed is part of that transformation that I’d like to see myself. We can’t separate environmental concerns from injustice and greed because it is so often our greed and the resulting injustice that cause environmental concerns. What we do to the environment today will effect our children for several generations. We might be around to see some of it, but we won’t see the worst of it. But the effects don’t stop at that, because what we do today to the environment also affects people in third world countries.

Palm oil is a really good example of this because it is found in a lot of products we consume, especially crackers and cookies. When we consume these products, demand for the ingredients, including palm oil, increases. Increased demand for palm oil increases the demand for more oil palms, which are grown mostly in Indonesia and Malaysia. To grow more oil palms, tropical rainforests in this country must be cut down and the land burned to prepare it for the new trees. As of now, more than 170,000 km2 (105,633.1 mi2 ) have been lost to oil palm plantations in Borneo (1) (the island that houses Indonesia and Malaysia), which is just under half of Borneo’s total area. Destroying the native rain forest kills or drives out native fauna, encouraging species vulnerability or endangerment. And most oil palm plantations aren’t being farmed sustainably, causing soil to be depleted of nutrients.

There is a human side to the palm oil problem too. The continual burning of forest releases CO2 into the atmosphere, which contributes to climate change. Higher demand for palm oil increases its price, making it difficult for poorer people around the world to buy it for cooking. And Malaysia’s government, at least, is replacing local leaders with timber company associates in a bid to take land from indigenous peoples.(2)

What we consume – our greed – fuels environmental and human injustices.

I’m not perfect; far from it, in fact. But I see what we are doing to this world and have to wonder how people who believe in God and that He created this world can participate in greed and injustice, especially those of us who call ourselves Christians. After all, Jesus told us to store up our treasures in heaven, not on earth (Matthew 6:19-20) and when we are the victims of an injustice, Jesus said we are to forgive “seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22). Jesus calls the meek, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, the merciful, the pure of heart, and the peacemakers blessed, and I think He wants us to be transformed to have these qualities, that we might reverse injustice in this world.

And in focusing on environmental injustice, Frome says, “Focus on principle, rather than personality. In environmental journalism you are likely to upset somebody, but writing in one sense is outreach to adversaries, recognizing that people who disagree are not evil” (Frome 101). And this is why I’m not perfect: I don’t think of those who disagree with me as evil, but I do tend to think of them as lazy, stupid, insensitive, and lacking compassion and love.

Refocusing takes transformation. I need to be transformed so that I might love others and see them as children of God, but I also need to be transformed so that my own greedy impulses and drive to do injustice to others can be replaced with compassion, forgiveness, and love.

1. Little, Jane Braxton. “Regrowing Borneo, Tree by Tree.” Scientific American Earth 3.0. Vol. 18, num. 5, 2008: 66.
2. Mok, Kimberly. “Logging, Palm oil, and Human Rights in Borneo.” Treehugger.com.

Writing about Writing (Green Ink 1)

2009-03-17T13:07:00.000-07:00

For the past week, I’ve been reading Green Ink by Michael Frome. This is the second time I’ve read this book for a class, and I’ve enjoyed it both times.

Even having read it twice, I’ll be honest – I’m not completely sure what the point is. The book is about how to write about the environment, aka, how to be an environmental journalist. That’s the whole reason I’ve read it twice for school. However, it’s not really a how-to book in the sense that Frome says, “Step 1… Step 2…” Green Ink is mostly about his own observations or stories he’s read or heard about being an environmental journalist.

In the semester and a half that I’ve been focusing on stewardship, I haven’t talked much about writing – since writing wasn’t really the purpose of the independent study. However, I chose Green Ink since it was about environmental writing, and I want to spend this little bit of time talking about writing, in general and about the environment.

If you’ve ever tried to write something serious, then you know writing is not an easy task. Even writing the perfect thank-you note can be a Herculean effort, especially if you have to write many of them, over and over, thanking people you barely know for something you wish you hadn’t received. (“Dear Mr. and Mrs. --, thank you for the lovely sterling silver cookie tray you bought us for our wedding almost 16 years ago. While it is lovely to look at, it has sat in our basement or in storage, untouched, for all that time, and it was a complete waste of probably $100. Neither of us cares for knick-knacks and especially not those that have to be polished after being subjected to air for a time. Thank you for the impracticality of your gift, I’m sure the money could have bought something off our registry that we would still be using today. Sincerely, the unappreciative bitch.” Also known as, “Dear Mr. and Mrs. --, Thank you for the lovely sterling silver cookie platter you gave us for our wedding. We are very grateful you thought of us and appreciate your kindness. Thank you for sharing in our special day. Sincerely, Jeff and Stephanie.” Hmph.) But honestly, trying to write something lighthearted or funny is just as difficult.

The other difficulty in writing is that each type of writing has its own laws, reasoning, and mechanical issues. Writing a thank-you note requires striking the right balance of appreciativeness without appearing underwhelmed or looking like a complete buttkisser, and you probably have to write a little creatively here so that if people compare notes, you don’t look like you copied a generic note. Writing an essay means that the writing part is, in essence, the icing on the cake. All the writing shows is what you’ve learned from your research. I should mention that whatever you call this essay - whether it’s essay, research report, scientific study, market analysis, etc. – the important part is communicating what you’ve learned to the audience, but different audiences expect that information to be communicated in different ways. For example, my English professors expected me to do literary criticism or analysis in a specific way and use a specific format for citations. My environmental studies professors, on the other hand, expect something a little different than what I was trained to do in undergrad. It’s not “and now for something completely different” different, but you try learning APA format after you’ve been writing in MLA all your life!

I research and write for my job, too. Learning this particular style of writing has been a brain stretcher because it involves communicating all the subtle nuances of statutes as succinctly as possible. It involves an endnote format (I work with parenthetical citations for school work) with citations in what I would call… well, I’m not sure what to call it. Its not MLA, it’s not APA, it’s not even anywhere in between. We use a format that will help the audience find the statistic or statute as quickly and easily as possible.

Writing creatively is quite another monster. Just because you don’t have to cite your facts doesn’t mean that you don’t have to research. And where in other writing the point is to say exactly what you mean, writing fiction involves the feared craft of “showing, not telling” – i.e., don’t say, “she had blonde hair,” say, “Her hair reminded me of the silken tassels of Illinois corn.” But you have to know when to show and when to just get to the point already.

I am not a journalist. My education so far has involved learning about the environment, but I have yet to learn how to write an article, especially one about the environment.

I say all this to show you that writing is not a simple task. Not every person can write well. You might think writing is just putting the words in your head on to paper or in the computer, but it’s not that simple. I don’t like reading anything written by H.G. Wells or Charles Dickens (my apologies to my former English professors). In Dickens’ case, I have to tell you I feel for the guy, because he wrote in the era of getting paid per word. But wordiness doesn’t make one a good writer, and I think Dickens milked the system without any thought to his audience or the story. After all, why say in twenty words what you can say in 500? I feel about the same about Wells. Then there’s Victor Hugo. In Les Miserables, Hugo works sections of his stories for a good hundred pages in some cases. The first section of the story has little dialogue, and we learn about the priest, Monseigneur Beinvenu, who eventually meets Jean Valjean, who stays with the Bishop and steals his silver before departing. The whole point of the story is to show Beinvenu’s character:

In the meantime, Monseigneur Bienvenu had advanced as quickly as his great age permitted.

"Ah! here you are!" he exclaimed, looking at Jean Valjean. "I am glad to see you. Well, but how is this? I gave you the candlesticks too, which are of silver like the rest, and for which you can certainly get two hundred francs. Why did you not carry them away with your forks and spoons?"

We learn here that Bienvenu doesn’t just talk the talk, he walks the walk, and his compassion changes Jean Valjean’s life. So while Hugo is wordy, there’s a point. I suppose Dickens fans would say he had a point too, but I fail to see it.

Writing is a craft. It’s not just about putting words on paper, but about putting words together like puzzle pieces so that the pieces don’t just fit, but show the intended picture. For some people, writing can be easy, but for most of us, learning this craft is difficult work, full of red pen marks, mechanical errors, and draft upon draft of rewrites.

Frome addresses the task of writing about the environment. What is especially important to me, as I learn to write about the environment for an audience of Christians, is this particular quote: “It seems that the task of environmental writing can be defined as translation. It is our job to narrow the gulf…” (Frome 125). Another one; “…but you’ve got to make those technical issues clear and understandable to the public. Don’t write for your sources, write for your public” (Frome 126). The more I hear about what some people think about climate change, the more important to me this becomes. If I had to sum up the whole point of my education, I could do it quickly and without regret using the two Frome quotes above.

I feel like I’m starting to lose my point, so more later about Green Ink.

Creation Care and Character: The Nature and Necessity of the Ecological Virtues

2009-02-10T12:07:00.001-08:00

My first journal reading for this semester was "Creation Care and Character: The Nature and Necessity of the Ecological Virtues" by Dr. Steven Bouma-Prediger who was/is in the Department of Religion at Hope College. I found this article through The Christian Environmental Studies Center. In order to better understand this post, you should read the article. I'm going to assume that that's exactly what you're doing, as y'all are intelligent folks, and my post is going to reflect what stood out to me in the article. This is quite philosophy-heavy, so bear with me (and the article).

The first thing that Dr. Bouma-Prediger did here was to establish classic philosophical and ethical arguments for what a virtue is. Quite simply

A virtue is an state of character--with the attendant desires, attitudes, and emotions--formed by choices and habits over time, which disposes one to act in certain ways, and shapes one's vision of the world. Some virtues are intrinsically morally good, while others are instrumentally good. Some have more to do with intellectual excellence, while others have more to do with moral excellence. Some are corrective in the sense that their necessity derives from various temptations; others would exist in a perfect world. All virtues shape our character and substantially influence how we see the world.

I've just hinted at it with this quote, but one thing that he stresses is that virtues must be lived out. One is not simply something by saying that s/he is that thing, one must act to be that thing. Matthew 7:17 says, "Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit" and Galatians 5:22 and 23 tell us what the fruits of a good tree are: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Notice that bearing fruit is an active thing. The tree doesn't just call itself a fruit tree, it produces fruit so that we can see that it is, indeed, a fruit tree. The same principle applies to attaining virtues (or the fruit of the Spirit - if you read the article, you know that what the author calls virtues are very similar to the fruits of the Spirit): you can't just call yourself righteous with practicing righteousness. You can't call yourself patient without practicing patience (and you might have already found that God doesn't give you patience, He gives you opportunities to be patient). And you can't call yourself loving without loving the people God commands you to love. In this case, doing=being.

One thing that the author tries to get us to examine is our attitude towards creation. I think, especially here in America and in a lot of evangelical settings, we have the belief or attitude that what God created is only valuable because of how we (humans) can use it, but

All creatures--the wild asses, the cedars of Lebanon, the storks, the rock badgers, the young lions--depend upon God for their existence and their flourishing. In addition, God's creatures are valuable for their own sake. That is, they are valuable not because of their usefulness to humans--though some are useful, indeed essential, to us; but rather they are valuable to each other--e.g., the cedars are valuable as places for birds to nest and the mountains are valuable as places of refuge and rest for the wild goats--and, most importantly, they are valuable simply because God made them. In short, rocks and trees, birds and animals, have not only instrumental value but intrinsic value. Their value resides in their being creations of a valuing God, not in their being a means to some human end.

In environmental ethics, something is intrinsically valuable simply because it exists, and in Christian environmental ethics, something is intrinsically valuable because God created it and its worth is in God. It doesn't matter if that creature has no value to us for any purpose; it is valuable because God created it. And

Because species have intrinsic value, they have moral standing. And because they have moral standing, we as humans have certain duties with respect to species. Given, furthermore, that species are dynamic natural kinds, unique and irreplaceable, entire forms of life the extinction of which is a form of superkilling, we offer the following moral maxim: we should act so as to preserve diverse kinds of life. More exactly, we have a prima facie duty to protect and preserve non-human species. In other words, while the possibility exists that other moral considerations could outweigh or overrule this duty, normally we are obligated to protect and preserve non-human species.

Enter more ethical considerations. This, for example, absolutely smacks of utilitarianism, which says "we should always do whatever will produce the greatest possible balance of happiness over unhappiness for everyone who will be affected by our action" (Environmental Ethics 65). Normally, utilitarianism is an ethic used for mostly human consideration, but I think it applies well as an environmental ethic. We all function better when our environment is functioning well; this includes plant and animal life. Utilitarianism doesn't discount the fact that sometimes hard decisions need to be made, and we won't always make a decision that makes everyone happy. In other words, sometimes the human has to win. Given the choice between saving the life of my child and the life of my dog, my child will always win. But if everything is equal, I will do and must do what I can to preserve the lives of both child and dog. And bird and tree and blade of grass.

It's important to talk about consumption when we discuss environmental stewardship. The author says

Given that the earth is finite, I propose the following moral maxim: we should acknowledge the finitude of the earth and act so as to live within our means. More precisely, we have a prima facie duty to preserve nonrenewable resources and conserve scarce though renewable resources. This duty applies to a wide range of things--from energy to species. We should, for example, conserve our fossil fuels like coal, oil, and natural gas, for once that solar savings account is depleted it will be a very long time before it is replenished. So too we should preserve species, for that "resource" once gone will never return.

With respect to ecological ethics, foolishness is the disposition to act as if creation is endlessly exploitable and expendable. By living only for today one acts as if the future does not matter.

the vice of deficiency contrary to patience is impetuousness. It is the impulsiveness which, fearful of the future, drives us to gratify our desires in the immediate moment, irrespective of the legitimate need of others. Those who exhibit this vice lack the ability to wait. They always eat first at the wilderness supper table. They never put off a purchase in order to pay cash when they could charge it now.

These three passages speak to the foolishness of our drive to consume as much as we can. Yes, we have needs that must be met, and we must consume those needs. That isn't what these three passages are talking about. What's being discussed here is the level of consumption that is destructive to the environment. We don't live within our means. We feel like we have to have our wants and desires met right now. So many of us feel that way that we've driven species to extinction. This is shortsighted of us for two very important reasons. First, it is an attitude of disrespect towards God, because we think our individual needs are more important than the rest of the earth God created. Second, when we consume too many resources, we take those resources out of the hands of our children and grandchildren. And their children and grandchildren. That sounds trite, but it's the truth. Think of all the species that have become extinct because our ancestors either overhunted or destroyed their habitats. There are birds, fish, mammals, and plants that we will never see because the humans before use killed every last one of them. But we are doing the same thing to other species.

Sustainability is also an issue:

We are permitted to use the fruit of creation, but we are not allowed to destroy the ability of creation to be fruitful. Indeed, as these texts suggest, the kind of wise use which preserves creation's ability to replenish itself is an important ingredient in living well.

From this theological motif I derive the ethical principle of sustainability. From this flows the following moral maxim: we should act in such a way that the ability of living creatures to maintain themselves and to reproduce is carefully preserved. To make this maxim more exact, we have a prima facie duty to judiciously use those creatures under our care so as to provide for future generations. We cannot but use plants and animals to survive and maintain our own human existence. Like all creatures we affect our surroundings, in part by consuming other organisms. But we have an obligation to so use the creatures under our care that we provide not only for our own generations but also for the generations--the fruitfulness--of non-human creatures.

This goes along with the previous section comments. Our culture conditions us to consume too many things. It conditions us to think we need things that we don't really need. The problem isn't that we use the fruits of the tropical rain forest for medicines. The problem is that we have decided that it's more productive to burn the rain forest down so that we can raise cattle for meat. More and more forest is being razed and burned so that we have more land on which we raise livestock. It's OK to use the fruit and plants of the rain forest to make needed medicines and feed people. It's OK to eat meat. It's not OK to consume so much meat that it causes us to destroy whole environments to do so.

Actions like this aren't sustainable. Overconsumption of resources isn't sustainable because we usually consume faster than than the resources renew.

And finally, a good Christian environmental ethic includes rest, or Sabbath:

We are reminded of this need for rest in the Ten Commandments--better rendered God's ten best ways to live. In Exodus 20:8-11 we are called to "remember the sabbath and keep it holy" for the seventh day is a sabbath to God on which "you shall not do any work--you, your son or daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns." Notable for our purposes is the injunction to rest farm animals on the sabbath. Apparently cows and horses and mules need to be rested too. This is spelled out in greater detail in the case law in Leviticus and Deuteronomy where the Israelites are instructed by God in certain very specific ways on how to organize their lives. For example, in Leviticus 25 they are told that the land must be given a sabbath rest every seventh year. In the seventh year "you shall not sow your field or prune your vineyard. You shall not reap the aftergrowth of your harvest or gather the grapes of your unpruned vines" because "it shall be a year of complete rest for the land" (verses 4-5). Furthermore, after seven seven year cycles there shall be a year of jubilee. In the fiftieth year "you shall proclaim liberty throughout the land to all its inhabitants" and "you shall return, every one of you, to your property and to your family." As in the sabbatical year, so too in the year of jubilee "you shall not sow, or reap the aftergrowth, or harvest the unpruned vines" (verses 10-12). And these stipulations are given, the text makes very clear, "so that the land will yield its fruit, and you will eat your fill and live on it securely" (verses 18-19). Life on the land goes better when one observes God's statutes and commandments.

Indeed, God intends that humans give the people, animals, and land under their care periodic rest and the opportunity for restoration. Such intentional rest and nurture of creatures human and nonhuman resists the relentless use and exploitation which drives much of modern society.

Sabbath isn't just for humans, but for animals and the land as well. Everything is more productive when rested. Everything simply functions better when well rested. I the same passage where God commands the Israelites to rest, He also commands the Israelites to allow their servants, animals, and land to rest as well. In this, God ties Sabbath to sustainable living.

Removing the Governor from office

2009-01-29T07:43:00.000-08:00

Today, the Illinois General Assembly is, more than likely, going to sustain the Articles of Impeachment against Governor Rod Blagojevich. Given what happened in the media when Rep. Milt Patterson voted against the Governor's impeachment in the House, it's unlikely the any Senator will vote against the conviction.

On the one hand, this is justice for the State of Illinois. But on the other hand, my heart hurts for this man and his family. Don't get me wrong - I think he needs to be removed from office. But can you imagine waking up in the morning, knowing that what you face in the next few hours is not only going to ruin your career, but will be the beginning of severe legal troubles and impact your family in a horrible way?

I guess what I'm asking each of you to think about today is how you would feel in Governor Blagojevich's shoes. Imagine how it feels when he looks at his little girls tonight and has to tell them that their daddy no longer has a job. Imagine how it feels to look your spouse in the eye and no that nothing he or she can say can fix this situation. Imagine how it feels to be in the middle of a crowd of people who want you removed from your job, and most of them really don't like you.

Yes, we need justice. When someone does something wrong, there are consequences that should follow. But we need to remember two things to temper that desire to see justice served: first, none of us is without sin; and second, we are called to forgive and restore. Christ died and rose for those two things. So even if you're happy that Governor will be removed from office, please pray for him and his family, because there are some dark times ahead for them.

Welcome to the New Year; now let's do the right thing

2009-01-02T11:49:00.000-08:00

Happy 2009!

I realize it's been awhile since I've blogged. School, work, and Christmas got the better of me, so there I went, disappearing from the blogosphere.

I regularly read another blog called The Evening of Kent, which I started reading because of another blog I read regularly. I find myself agreeing with a lot of what KW Leslie says; oh, there were a few posts about a month ago about speaking in tongues that I didn't agree with (still don't), but I think there are some theological issues where Christians can agree to disagree gracefully, and no one's going to go to hell because we don't see eye to eye. But on Leslie's normal posts, I think he and I agree about 95% of the time.

He only posts about every three or four days, so I was happy to see he'd posted again when I checked the blog this morning. As usual, his post made me want to stand up and applaud. Rather than just linking to the post, and risking you not reading it, I'm posting his thoughts here, with his permission:

January fasting, and why it’s a crock.

Seeking direction for the year? Try following some of the directions Jesus already gave.

Got back from Spokane with another cold, likely given to me by another nephew. They’re little germ-farms, these nephews. Cute but deadly. Also got back with a bit of an idea, provoked by the pastor of my sister’s church.

The sermon last Sunday had to do mainly with inspiring the congregation to join the pastor in a 21-day fast so that they could collectively determine God’s will for the new year. This is standard practice for some evangelical churches: It’s January; let’s fast. (Mainliners have had enough fasting… if they celebrated Advent properly, or at all.) It’s sort of the evangelical Christian variation of the New Year’s resolution, although many of us make those too—the fast indicates that we resolve to follow God this year, as opposed to last year, which didn't meet personal expectations; where our devotional lives went completely to hell as soon as summer vacation made us busy with… free time? Whatever. We were busy. But this year…

…Well, let’s just say that Christian devotions tend to rise and fall depending on the latest charismatic fad, and in January it’s fasting. Which is made all the more appealing by the fact that we American Christians in particular have packed on an extra 15 pounds thanks to all the holiday food, and fasting seems a good spiritual way to lose some weight.

The purpose behind fasting, in the scriptures, is basically mourning:

* Someone is dead, and a mourner is sad and won’t eat.
* Someone remembers a sad event or holiday, and won’t eat.
* Someone repents of sin, wants to show sorrow, so they make themselves look pathetic and don’t eat.
* Someone really wants God’s help, and wants to appear pitiful and worthy of mercy, and doesn’t eat.
* The rulers, some of whom were concerned about God’s wrath on sin, called a fast for the previous two reasons.

But why do people call fasts nowadays? Sometimes repentance; sometimes contemplation. But most of the time it’s ’cause we’re asking God for direction. We wanna know what He wants us to do. We wanna know what His plans for our future might be. We want a vision for the future—because “without a vision, people perish,” as an acquaintance of mine kept misquoting yesterday. So we want God to show us what to do so that we don’t keep stumbling around in the dark.

But it struck me a few weeks ago how much we really do know what we’re supposed to be doing—and the problem is that we really, truly, honestly don’t want to do it.

Flash back—or flash forward, ’cause Jesus is talking about the end of the world—to Jesus’s story of the sheep and goats. Not literal sheep and goats, of course. Goes like this:

As soon as the Son of Man comes, in His glory and all the angels with Him, He will then sit His throne of glory, and every people-group will be gathered together in front of Him. He will divide them from one another, like a shepherd divides the young sheep from the young goats, and will put the lambs by His right hand, and the kids by His left.

Then the King will say to those at His right, “Come. You have been praised by My Father. Take possession of the Kingdom; it has been prepared for you at the universe’s creation. For I was hungry and you gave Me food. I was thirsty and you gave Me a drink. I was a foreigner and you included Me. I was poorly clothed and you dressed Me. I was weak and you came to help Me. I was in trouble and you came to Me.”

The right-minded will reply to Him, “Master, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You a drink? When did we see and include foreigners, or dress the poorly clothed? When did we see a weak or troubled person and go to them?”

The King will reply to them, “Amen I tell you: To anyone who did such things for the most obscure of My family members—you did so to Me.”

Then He will say to those at His left, “Get away from Me, you damned people—into the perpetual fire; it has been prepared for the devil and its angels. For I was hungry and you gave Me nothing to eat. I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink. I was a foreigner and you didn’t include Me; poorly clothed and you didn’t dress Me; weak and in trouble and you showed no concern for Me.”

They will reply to Him, “Master, when did we see You hungry, thirsty, foreign, poorly clothed, weak, or in trouble, and not serve You?”

He will reply to them, “Amen I tell you: To anyone who didn’t do such things for the most obscure, you didn’t do so to Me.”

These people will go away into perpetual punishment. The right-minded go into perpetual life.

—Mt 25.31-46 KWL

What did the “goats” get sent to hell for? Obviously, for not feeding, clothing, helping, visiting, or including the needy of all sorts. Are we doing any of this at all? Or are we just sending money to organizations that do it—or arranging for our church to send money to such organizations so that we don’t have to?

Seems to me that this is something that your average Christian is not personally involved in, and had better bloody well get involved in if we ever expect to inherit the Kingdom. Trouble is, despite how obvious the lesson is, people figure they can either do it by proxy, or figure there are enough government employees or charity workers to take care of everyone—or they’re participating in a fast and hoping to God that God doesn’t call them into any such vocation.

If you’re fasting and wondering what God wants you to do, I think we need to fast for a different reason: We need to mourn and repent of sitting on our lazy American asses while there are needy people in our towns who are needlessly suffering while we worry about the weight we’ve gained after Christmas. We need to stop casting about for a mission other than what God’s already commissioned us Christians to do, as if He’s didn’t really mean it when He told us to love our neighbors, and is gonna offer us a second option that appeals to our ego more. We don’t need to seek a new vision; we need to obey the one we were already given.

You wanna know why we’re not seeing victories in our lives, or having satisfaction in our ministries? It’s because we’re neither obeying God nor actually ministering in a way God approves of. Our so-called “ministries” consist of entertaining flabby, soft, passive Christians, lest they grow bored or get offended by actual challenges, and go elsewhere and take their money and attention with them. That new direction that we’re fasting and hoping God reveals to us? Deep down, we’re looking for something that will “fulfill” us—meaning that’ll make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside, yet not actually involve any sacrifice or hardship or suffering on our part. Deep down, we’re looking for something that will remove us from the misery and vice of this world; something that will make our church well-known and get it attention; something that will raise tons of money and build shiny buildings that don’t do anything. Deep down, we’re looking for a Christianity that doesn’t look at all like anything Jesus went through; we want to be Epicureans, where pleasure rather than obedience is the highest good, and freedom from anxiety comes through “God-given” possessions rather than through the God-given Holy Spirit.

Our fasts are a joke. Have been since Isaiah’s time, when God said even then that they pissed Him off. He doesn’t want fasts; He wants obedience. Isaiah’s got some fun comments on fasting:

Day by day they look for Me

and want to know My directions—

as if they were a people who behaved rightly

and hadn’t abandoned God’s justice.

They ask Me for fair decisions.

They want God to come near.

“Why do we fast, and You don’t see it?

Why do we afflict ourselves, and You don’t know it?”

Look: You take pleasure in your fast day.

You don’t work; but your employees sure do.

Look: Your fasts result in debates and fighting,

to attack with evil hands.

No fast like today’s will make a sound heard in a high place.

Is this anything like a fast I prefer?—

a day for a person to refresh the soul?

to bow the head like a blade of grass?

to lie down in rough clothes, in ashes?

Is that called a fast, a day pleasing to Yahweh?

Isn’t this the fast I prefer?—

Open the chains of the oppressed,

loose the straps of the yoke,

set the broken people free,

and break every yoke.

Isn’t it to share your bread with the hungry?

to bring home the needy homeless people?

to cover those you see naked?

to not hide yourself away from people?

Then your light will burst like day

and your health grow quickly,

and rightness go to your face,

and Yahweh’s glory gather you together.

Then you call and Yahweh answers;

you call for help and He says, “I’m here.”

If you turn away from the yoke in your midst—

the pointing finger and evil saying—

If you spend your life on the hungry

and satisfy the life of the afflicted,

your light rises in the darkness

and your night is like noon,

and Yahweh guides you continually.

—Is 58.2-11 KWL

And He promises a few other nice things… if His people would just obey.

You want direction? God is ever-present when you are actually doing what He wants you to do and serving His people. You aren’t waiting around for advice; you’re getting it instantly, sometimes before you even ask for it, simply because you stopped begging Him to come to you, and went to where He is. Don’t waste His time with anything else.

© K.W. Leslie

What he's posted here troubles me. Not in a theological manner, because I agree with what he's saying; instead, it troubles me because I agree with him.

As I've examined my heart and my life this past semester, I've found a couple of things that are in direct opposition to each other: I want to help others, and I'm a selfish, greedy woman. This was made clear to me at Christmas time when I kept thinking, "This is the birth of Christ I'm supposed to be celebrating. Why am I all about the presents?"

This whole subject is troubling. It SHOULD be troubling. I see the church failing miserably to do these things, and offering only excuses for why we're not doing them. And even though I try to help when and where I can, I still see myself as terribly selfish and greedy, especially as we leave the Christmas season. I've been confronting my own selfishness and greed head on, and it's not pretty.

There are a lot of people in my own community who need help. I could help them, but I'm busy. I have a husband and son, I'm in school, I work full time, and I just don't know where I would fit in helping those people. But lots of other people are just as busy as I am, and they find time to help the people in this city who need it. So maybe what it really comes down to is that 1) I'm lazy, and 2) I'm really uncomfortable around people I don't know.

Leslie's right; we don't need to fast and pray about what God wants us to do, because He already told us what we need to do. Maybe each of us needs to pray about how we go about taking care of those in need, but I'll tell you this right now: God has already given you permission to help.

Welcome to the New Year, folks. Now, let's get out there and do the right thing.

33 Laws of Stewardship part 1

2008-11-26T08:28:00.000-08:00

I've started another book called the 33 Laws of Stewardship by Dave Sutherland and Kirk Nowery. To be honest, I wasn't sure about it when I first picked it up - it looked kind of slick, and I was afraid I'd picked up one of those "name it and claim it" books. Well, the old adage to not judge a book by its cover applies here. It's been a good book.

I'm going to go through it very quickly, in just three posts.

1. Rightful Ownership.

This is probably the most important thing any follower of Christ should remember: none of it is really ours. It all belongs to God.

“When we are blessed with money and material things, and when we receive acclaim for any accomplishment, we’re getting not what we deserve but what God in His grace lovingly allows us to enjoy and to care for. The essence of life is not ownership but stewardship – the faithful management of all that God entrusts to us” (10).

2. Purposeful Possession

Whatever God gives us, He gives with a purpose, and we are to use it in service to Him. A good steward doesn’t hoard those things God entrusts to her.

3. Miraculous Multiplication

God can make a lot out of a little. A few loaves and fishes fed a crowd of over 5,000, and there were leftovers.

“Trusting Him explicitly, He provides for us absolutely; and we mustn’t be limited by what we see because His ways transcend human understanding” (23).

4. Guaranteed Return

While I don’t believe in karma, this is a principle that is very similar to the concept of karma. What you give will be given back to you.

“If you give, it will be given back to you. And not just an equal exchange. The return will be overflowing, super-abundant, bigger, and better” (30).

5. Hilarious Generosity

God really does love a cheerful giver. Give because God asks you to give, but do it with the right attitude, that of one who is grateful to be able to give.

6. Faithful Dependability

A true steward is trustworthy. She is faithful in small things and can therefore be trusted with large things.

7. Paradoxical Participation

Generosity is measured by the attitude of the giver, and the biggest gifts can come from those who have given very little.

8. Supernatural Supply

We can give beyond our ability through God’s power.

“The power which God gives the believer is not natural power but supernatural power. The provision He makes is not natural but supernatural. This is an absolute law in the economy of stewardship, and it must not escape our attention” (53).

9. Eager Willingness

Good stewards choose to give, and they do so with willing and eager hearts.

10. Reciprocal Supply

When we meet others’ needs, we meet our own needs as well.

“The importance of spiritual gifts must not be underestimated because without them we cannot function properly in Christ’s body” (65).

11. Constructive Contribution

The smallest job still serves God, and is as great as the greatest job.

“Sir, we are building God’s temple. Go now and read the third chapter of Nehemiah and learn that he who repaired the dung gate was counted of as much honor as he who worked on the gate of the fountain. All did their bit; you and I can do no more” (69, attributed to John Wesley).

“The work of God is to be done by the people of God according to the will of God” (69).

Purpose Driven Life Part 6

2008-11-21T14:32:00.001-08:00

34Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question:

36"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" 37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'[b] 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'[c] 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

Matthew 22:34-40

18Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Matthew 28:18-20

The Purpose Driven Life is about fulfilling all five purposes that God created us for: worship, fellowship, evangelism, ministry, and discipleship. In chapters 39 and 40, Warren talks about balancing these five aspects. The two pieces of scripture above list all five purposes. Warren dissects them this way:

1. 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart’: You were planned for God’s pleasure, so your purpose is to love God through worship.

2. 'Love your neighbor as yourself.': You were shaped for serving, so your purpose is to show love for others through ministry.

3. ‘Therefore go and make disciples’: You were made for a mission, so your purpose is to share God’s message through evangelism.

4. ‘baptizing them’: You were formed for God’s family, so your purpose is to identify with his church through fellowship.

5. ‘teaching them to obey everything’ : You were created to become like Christ, so your purpose is to grow to maturity through discipleship.

We need to do all five of these things well, not just one or two. This isn’t easy. I think we are naturally given to doing one or two of these things, and letting the rest fall by the side of the road, but that isn’t how we’re to live our lives. Warren says in order to do all five things well, we need to have balance. There are two things we can do to achieve balance in the five areas. The first is to evaluate how we’re doing through journaling, an accountability partner, or the support of a small group. The other way is to craft a purpose statement for our lives.

It is good to write out your purpose. By writing something down, instead of just keeping it crammed in your brain, you can read it every day. This reinforces what you need to know. It’s sort of like taking notes from a book or lecture. Yes, you can probably remember some of the stuff you read or hear, but by taking notes, you have something to look back on. The details will be clear, not fuzzy. Sure, your purpose might be in your head, but it’s not clear until you write it down.

Writing it down also allows you to see where you’re going. It allows you to do the things you need to do and say no to the things that aren’t necessary. From my own perspective, it means I can freely involve myself in mission trips and buying food for the poor, and I can freely say no to teaching a Sunday School class or singing in choir.

This is my last post of Purpose Driven life. I’ll be moving on to another book next time.

Purpose Driven Life, part 5

2008-11-21T13:55:00.000-08:00

Since I started in the INO program, I’ve felt the calling on my life tug in two very different directions. On the one hand, I have the vision of my working with the poor and homeless firmly rooted in my mind (a vision, as I’ve said before, I think God put there when I was 19). On the other hand, I have this interest in doing two things in the church: teaching 1) people of faith how the Body of Christ needs to be a better steward of the environment (because God created the earth and our lousy stewardship is killing the poor) and 2) spiritual gifts and motivating people to use them. In the past, I’ve tongue-in-cheek called the teaching the church thing “showing the Church how we’re screwing up.” Please note I’m not completely joking…

But I digress. As I’ve said, I’ve felt this tug in what seems like two completely different directions, though the subjects are pretty well related. I haven’t been sure how to reconcile what could be two potential careers/ministries.

Enter Day 36 of Purpose Driven Life, on which day Warren says, “God is at work in the world, and he wants you to join him. This assignment is called your mission. God wants you to have both a ministry in the Body of Christ and a mission in the world. Your ministry is your service to believers, and your mission is your service to unbelievers” (281). Ding ding ding!

This explains a lot, actually. I’m not sure how I became so textbook on this one thing in my life, but there you go.

What he says first is that ministry is about serving believers. You might be asking yourself how teaching the Body of Christ serves other believers. Put in that sense, it doesn’t. But in the sense of teaching the Body about the environment, poverty, and spiritual gifts, it’s serving believers by teaching them how to be good stewards. And by teaching people about spiritual gifts, it means other people can find and use their gifts in ministry and mission.

As I was searching for a particular Scripture, I found a web page that seems to be one of those Q&A type things. I think the Q in question here fits this ministry thing (for me) REALLY well:

Q: Does God meet ALL our needs when we give very sacrificially? My husband lost his job 5/04. I'm in my 50's disabled. We were $3000 in debt. I'd hoped yrs. for a house not renting. Now it's $20,000 debt & climbing. I've always been a great steward with God's money.

A: "My God SHALL supply all of your needs according to His riches in Glory in Christ Jesus." WHO IS IN CHRIST JESUS? The body of Christ. Why isn't your church helping you? OR individuals in your church? This is where other Christians need to reach out to you and GIVE you money and food. "GIVE and it SHALL be given unto you." WHY IS THE BODY OF CHRIST FAILING IN THIS AREA? Don't they understand they are "In Christ Jesus."

Second, he calls mission a service to unbelievers. I don’t want to imply that all people who are poor or homeless are unbelievers, or that people become homeless/poor because they aren’t Christians or have no faith in God. Please don’t take that in this context. But there are many people who, because of their circumstances, find it hard to believe that God loves them. Some find it hard to simply believe in God because their lives have been so hard, or they might blame God for the hardships they or others are responsible for in their lives. There’s a lot to be said for praying for the poor, but I think there comes a time when we have to be willing to be an answer to prayer as well. James 2:15-17 says, “ Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” I believe singer Steve Camp said it best this way: don’t tell them Jesus loves them till you’re ready to love them too. This verse sums it up for me. I think that there are many times that the only way we can speak to someone about God is to help them with their physical needs. Minister to them through their stomachs and skins. Give them shelter and a hug. Only then, once we’ve shown them that the Body of Christ loves them, can we show them that Jesus really loves them too, and wants a relationship with them.

I’m excited about this. It makes my life a lot easier, in that I feel I’m not being pulled in two different directions anymore and that these things could possibly be in harmony and unity with what God wants for my life.

Purpose Driven Life Part 4

2008-11-20T08:06:00.000-08:00

On Day 31, Warren talks about abilities, personality, and experiences and how those things influence your ministry. He says, “God designed each of us so there would be no duplication in the world. No one has the exact same mix of factors that make you unique. That means no one else on earth will ever be able to play the role God planned for you. If you don’t make your unique contribution to the Body of Christ, it won’t be made” (241).

What abilities do you have? In other words, what are the natural talents you have that you were born with. I’ve always been fairly decent at writing, and it has always come pretty naturally to me. When I was fifteen, I decided I wanted to be a professional writer, but I’ve been writing most of my life. I have a scrapbook somewhere with a short-short story that I wrote in first grade. In fourth grade, I wrote an essay about Thanksgiving that my fourth grade teacher sent to our town’s newspaper for publishing (they did - I think that’s in the scrapbook too). In eighth grade, I won a contest for an essay I wrote for school. I wrote and submitted my first short story when I was a freshman or sophomore in high school. I’m a voracious reader, and would rather read than do anything else (most writers are). From that time when I was fifteen, I’ve developed my writing skills so that I am at this point today. I say all of this not to brag, but to tell you that this is either a huge fluke, or it’s something that God gave me to develop and use for His glory.

You have an ability that you’ve been using all of your life too, something that you’ve always done well and comes so naturally to you that you don’t understand why others have trouble with it. That ability came from God, and we all have at least one.

God also uses our personalities in ministry. Do you know what your personality type is? I’ve taken many personality type tests over the years, and none of them have told me anything I didn’t already know. I’m an introvert – also known as the quiet, shy type. If you know me, you’re laughing your head off at this part, thinking, “There’s no way in hell she’s shy or an introvert!” I can be loud, boisterous, and opinionated, it’s true. But put me in a room full of strangers, and I stay in a corner and cower. Better yet, keep the strangers for yourself and let me stay home and read a book. I hate large groups of people, and will escape to the bathroom just for some peace and quiet. I am quite happy being stuck in my office all day long talking to very few people. My husband, on the other hand, has never met a stranger. Strangers, to him, are just new friends you haven’t made yet.

God can use you, no matter how loud and boisterous or quiet and shy you are. He can use you if you’re more of a thinker instead of a feeler, or vise versa. Your personality will only affect “how and where you use your spiritual gifts” (245), not whether or not you use them.

Our experiences determine where we serve as well. Warren says we should look at at least six different experiences from your past: family; educational; vocational; spiritual; ministry; and painful experiences. All of these things combine to make us people able to serve others with similar experiences. And Warren notes that painful experiences are the ones God uses the most to prepare us for ministry. As much as some of these things hurt, as rough as it to go though them, as many times as we cry out to God, He still allows these things to pass so that we can be better ministers. And our experiences make us soft-hearted, so we can show grace and mercy to those who need it.

I have no doubt that Warren is right about the painful experiences part. I feel like I make examples of my own life a lot, but I think we learn from others' experiences, and I want to show you how experience applies in my own life and ministry. Bear with me, you've probably heard a lot of this before.

Jeff and I married when I was 19. We moved to a little town in GA called Jenkinsburg, where Jeff pastored three UMC's in the county as a student pastor. After we'd been there about seven months, we were run out of the churches by two people. This was essentially a firing, and having reviewed this situation more than a few times, I think I can honestly say that we weren't at fault here. There were some local church politics that came into play, as well as a specific situation that someone lied about. Yes, there were probably a few minor things Jeff could have done differently, but what it really came down to was church politics (and a lot of work by the Evil One). We moved to Atlanta and lived there for 6 months before moving back to Illinois and in with my parents and brother. Would we have been homeless then? If not for our parents - most certainly. Jeff's mom paid our rent while we lived in Atlanta and my parents provided us with a home until we could move to Springfield.

Yet we weren't homeless in GA, and I found it more difficult to feel sorry for myself after I saw a truly homeless person for the first time. This was a painful time in our lives, but without it, I wouldn't be where I am today. It seems so trite to say that, especially in a blog, but I think you'll find it true in your own life as well. Nothing in my family, my education, my past ministry, my plans for vocation, or anything spiritual could have truly prepared me for this particular call and vision.

So what you've learned about me here is that I can write, I'm shy, and I have a vision of working with the homeless because of being kicked out of a home once. Now I just have to think of how to really combine those things. Maybe in another post this will come together with my spiritual gifts and heart.

PDL Day 32

2008-11-19T13:59:00.001-08:00

Day 32 Thinking about my purpose

Point to ponder: God deserves my best.

Verse to Remember: “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15

Question to Consider: How can I make the best use of what God has given me?

I think that’s the question I keep asking myself. As sure as I am about my gifts, abilities, and calling, I still have those moments when I take a step back and wonder if that’s really what God wants me to be doing. How does writing fiction help the church? How does writing about the environment help the church? Would someone else be better qualified to talk to the church about stewardship than I am? Am I just reinventing the wheel and saying what Sider, Warren, others, and the Bible have already said?

I think the only thing I can do is to use what God has given me, use it to the best of my abilities, and for His glory. I think that’s all he asks.

PDL Day 31

2008-11-19T13:57:00.002-08:00

Day 31 Thinking about my purpose

Point to ponder: Nobody else can be me.

Verse to Remember: “God has given each of you some special abilities; be sure to use them to help each other, passing on to others God’s many kinds of blessings.” 1 Peter 4:10

Question to Consider: What God-given ability or personal experience can I offer to my church?

I have a couple of these.

First, my abilities. I can write well, I’m a good researcher, and I love to learn/talk about stewardship. I think those things would benefit any church.

Second – my experiences being hurt by the church can benefit the church. People inside the church need to understand that a church is different from the outside world. Churches aren’t businesses and shouldn’t be treated like businesses. Churches ARE families, and we should treat the people in them like families. I’m not sure that has ever been my experience in a church, and it’s sad to think that others have been treated the same way I have been treated.

Purpose Driven Life Part 3

2008-11-19T13:57:00.001-08:00

On day 30, Rick Warren begins explaining how we are made to serve God. He says that each of us is uniquely designed, or SHAPEd to do certain things. SHAPE stands for Spiritual Gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality, and Experience. According to him, and I think this is a really good thing to remember, it is not just our spiritual gifts that indicate where we should minister to others, but what we might enjoy doing, our skills, personality, and what we’ve done, seen, and lived.

Are our spiritual gifts the most important part of these variables? Personally, I would say yes. Determining our gifts narrows down the ways to serve pretty quickly. And yet, the other variables are almost as important in determining your ministry, because two people with the same gift might not be happy serving in the exact same place. For instance, one person with the gift of administration might want to serve in a homeless shelter and another with the same gift might want to serve at a school – the first person might be really uncomfortable around kids, while the second might not enjoy working with the homeless. But both ministries are equally as important.

For this day, he talks about the first two letters in SHAPE: spiritual gifts and heart. In discussing spiritual gifts, he points out three very important points. First, every follower of Christ has at least one spiritual gift. Period. Some might have only one, some might have three, some might have five. No person has every single gift, and no believer is without a gift. Second, he addresses two common problems: gift envy and gift projection. “The first occurs when we compare our gifts with others’, feel dissatisfied with what God gave us, and become resentful. The second problem happens when we expect everyone else to have our gifts, do what we are called to do, and feel as passionate about it as we do” (237). Third, our spiritual gifts were given to us to serve others. When some people don’t use their gifts, other people get cheated. I also want to point out that if you or I don’t use our gifts, it makes it that much more difficult for the Body of Christ to function.

Warren says, “The Bible uses the term heart to describe the bundle of desires, hopes, interests, ambitions, dreams, and affections you have. Your heart represents the source of all your motivations – what you love to do and what you care about most” (237). He also calls heart passion. What motivates you? What drives you? That’s your passion. It’s a really good indicator of where you can use your God-given gifts. God wants us to love and enjoy the ways we serve Him. Ministry shouldn’t be a drudgery, something to get out of the way because you think it’s the right thing to do. Instead, ministry should capture your heart and drive you to laughter and tears. Don’t serve just because you think you should. Serve because it is something you might be interested in doing.

The catch here, at least for me personally, is remembering that not everyone shares my passion for certain things. Taking care of the poor and homeless around the world is really important to me, and many times I get wrapped up in wondering why not everyone is doing something to combat poverty and homelessness. Conversely, there are quite a few people in this world who love ministering to single mothers and helping them take care of their (unborn) children, and they wonder why I’m not doing the same things they are. It’s not that we’re blind to some of these needs, it’s that we each feel passionate about one thing over another.

At first glance, this kind of reasoning seems contradictory to the command we all have to take care of the poor, the widow, and the orphan, but I don’t believe that it really is. The heart and purpose of ministry is about bringing people to God through Jesus, and we minister to people by taking care of their need – not just spiritual, but physical, emotional, and mental needs. Many times, I would say most times, ministry takes place in places where people are in poverty, when we show people the love God has for them by feeding, clothing and taking care of them.

PDL Day 30

2008-11-19T13:50:00.000-08:00

Day 30 Thinking about my purpose

Point to Ponder: I was shaped for serving God.

Verse to Remember: “God works through different men in different ways, but it is the same God who achieves his purposes through them all.” 1 Corinthians 12:16

Question to Consider: In what way can I see myself passionately serving others and loving it?

I guess I’m fortunate that I can see quite a few ways.

First, there’s writing. Writing’s one of those things that it’s hard to get started, but once I do the words just come to me. I enjoy helping others see another side of things or feeling another emotion. And I could use it to help me…

Teach people about spiritual gifts. In one way, this serves only the church and the people in it, but in another way, it serves others because it makes them aware that they need to be in ministry to others.

Third, serving the poor and homeless and helping them make better lives for themselves.

Fourth, teaching stewardship. I think it would be the same as teaching about spiritual gifts, but followers of Christ need to be made aware of stewardship issues. It’s imperative. And it’s not just spiritual gifts that need to be taught, but people need to learn about time, finances, and the environment too.

PDL Day 29

2008-11-14T09:30:00.000-08:00

Day 29 Thinking about my purpose

Point to Ponder: Service is not optional.

Verse to Remember: “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which god prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

Question to Consider: What is holding me back from accepting God’s call to serve him?

NOTHING!!!

Now admittedly, I don’t think I’m serving exactly in the capacity God wants me in right now, but I’m trying to do small things along the way so that I can get there.

I think it would be so cool to do a missions small group. Instead of doing Bible study every week, the group gets together and does service stuff. I’ve wanted to do this for about two years now, and was in the process of setting it up in Alton before Jeff left the church. I don’t know what my future looks like as far as church is concerned, but I’d love to set this up. I think this is something I need to think about doing apart from a church home because I don’t know when I’ll have a church home again

Purpose Driven Life Part 2

2008-11-14T09:29:00.000-08:00

I have a confession to make about Purpose Driven Life: I’m actually way ahead of where I should be. I decided when I started rereading it that I’d read two days at a time instead of just one. As I promised myself and all of you, I’m writing the question for every day, even if I’m not posting it to this blog. But I’m ahead of the readings, mainly because I wanted to hurry up and get to the last two sections that talked about service and ministry.

I wish I could just scan all of Day 29 here without getting socked with a copyright violation! This is the point in the book that got me so excited the first time I read this book, and it’s no different this time.

I’ve often wondered why more Christians don’t use their spiritual gifts when God gives them to us for a reason and Jesus told us to go out to all the nations of the world to tell them the Good News. But this brings up my first recollection of learning about spiritual gifts, and to be honest, I’m not sure when I first heard about them. I can only tell you that my first experience serving in the church happened before I became a Christian. When I was sixteen, the fifth and sixth grade Sunday School class at my church needed a Sunday School teacher. Don’t ask me why, at the age of sixteen, I decided to take on a bunch of ten and eleven year olds, I just did. I suspect I had my own motives for it, but I also felt a push to do it, a drive, if you will. I’ve often hoped that I did little spiritual damage to those poor kids as I rambled my way through such subjects as friendship and school.

I taught that class for another year after I became a Christian, until I graduated from high school. At that time, the high school teacher decided he didn’t want to teach anymore, so I got a wild hare to teach the high school kids for a while. Yes, some of them in my own graduating class (though all at a different high school, the one in our little town), people my age who I’d grown up with, been friends or not friends with, guys I’d had crushes on, girls I’d fought with, people I’d laughed with and at.

Have I mentioned I’m crazy?

I taught high school all that summer and the following fall. I had to give it up when I started college in Indiana that Spring Semester. I didn’t teach Sunday School again until I was 25, which is fine by me. It’s not something I ever really enjoyed a lot, but I did it because I wanted to serve and felt driven to do so in that capacity.

So I served, but I don’t remember hearing anything about this thing called spiritual gifts until I was 21 and we moved to Springfield. One of the Sunday School classes we were in at First UMC at the time had a segment on spiritual gifts. We were given a spiritual gifts inventory and told to fill it out.

I don’t think it will surprise any of you that at that time, one my gifts was teaching. It also shouldn’t surprise you that it made a huge, life-changing impact on who I am. A year later when I got hired at another church as a member of the program staff, I used what I’d learned in that Sunday School class to teach other people about spiritual gifts.

It’s spiraled from there. I’m not going to tell you that I eat, breathe, and live spiritual gifts and stewardship, because I don’t. There are times when it doesn’t even occur to me to think about either thing – like when I’m reading to Liam or making him laugh his head off, or spending time with Jeff, other family, and friends. But even in those times, when they seem so far from my mind, they are never more than a thought away for me.

Because it makes so much sense to me, and it’s RIGHT THERE in the Bible, I don’t understand why so many Christians aren’t serving in their churches and in the world. But that begs the question: do any of us really practically apply every word in the Bible? I mean, seriously. And maybe that’s part of the problem. Maybe we think that we’ve applied the “important” parts, like the part where Jesus says we need to be saved and we need to spread the Good News. But have we applied the parts about forgiving those who sin against you (I fail at this)? Have we applied the part that says we need to tithe (hint: if we all would do this, churches wouldn’t have to do “stewardship”/financial drives every fall.)? Have we applied the part where Jesus told us to feed the widow and the orphan?

Yeah, I though not. It’s easy to apply what we learn in school. We use math to balance our checkbooks, we use science to figure out various things (I like to look at pretty pictures of planets and then help my mom figure out why it took my brother longer to get home from Germany than it did to get there in the first place – and this had nothing to do with the amount of beer he drank at Oktoberfest), we read all day long (even if it’s just comic books). It’s easy to apply English when composing a letter or out-trivia-ing your husband, but when was the last time you deliberately forgave your best friend for forgetting your lunch date? When was the last time you loved a stranger or bought a pizza for a homeless guy?

It’s not easy to apply things that demand we make life changes, and using your spiritual gifts makes you change your life, whether you like it or not. So maybe there are lots of Christians out there who have read the Bible oodles of times, and think nothing much of it when Paul mentions apostles, prophets, teachers, and healers. Maybe they think that talking in tongues is crazy. Maybe they want to be a leader or administrator instead of a giver or a helper. I don’t know the rationale behind it, I just know that there are a lot of well-meaning Christ followers out there who want to save the world and have no idea that there is a way for them to go about it. Or maybe that have no idea that being saved is just the beginning, not the end. The race starts the day you get saved and doesn’t end until you stand before the great throne of God. I can only pray that one day I will hear, “Yeah, Steph, you fed the poor, took care of the widows and the orphans. When you did these for the least of these, you did them for Me. Well done, good and faithful servant.” We all want to hear these words, but we have to obey God to hear them. And that can change our really comfortable lives.

In Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren says, “You were put on earth to make a contribution. You weren’t created just to consume resources – to eat, breathe, and take up space. God designed you to make a difference with your life. While many best-selling books offer advice on how to ‘get’ the most out of life, that’s not the reason God made you. You were created to add to life on earth, not just take from it. God wants you to give something back. This is God’s fourth purpose for your life, and it is called your “ministry,” or service” (227).

Warren makes four major points for Day 29: you were created to serve God; you were saved to serve God; you are called to serve God; and you are commanded to serve God. Serving God isn’t optional; it’s in our blood, our bones, and our souls. If God made us specifically to serve Him, why would we want to do anything else? Why would we ignore that call and command on our lives?

Warren also points out that “Another term for serving God that’s misunderstood by most people is the word ministry. When most people hear “ministry,” they think of pastors, priests, and professional clergy, but God says every member of his family is a minister. In the Bible, the words service and ministry are synonyms, as are servant and minister” (229). Pastoring is a spiritual gift; ministry, on the other hand, is a command.

I mentioned several gifts above. Some of them look pretty glamorous and like they’d get a lot of attention from other people. Some of them, on the other hand, make you look like, well… a servant. You might think it’s way cooler to be an apostle than someone who helps, but that’s the world’s view, not God’s. In the eyes of God – who created all these gifts, in case you forgot – every gift is equal. Warren says, “There is no small service to God; it all matters. Like wise, there are no insignificant ministries in the church. Some are visible and some are behind the scenes, but all are valuable… There is no correlation between size and significance. Every ministry matters because we are all dependent on each other to function” (230).

I’ll talk more about this in depth, I’m sure. For now, I’ll leave you with the same question Warren leaves for his readers at the end of Day 29: What is holding me back from accepting God’s call to serve him?

Sustainability Forum at UIS 11/13/08

2008-11-14T08:06:00.000-08:00

This week has been sustainability week at UIS, and because I work full time, I haven’t been able to participate in anything until last night’s Sustainability Forum.

I was expecting a few faculty speakers from the environmental studies department to lecture for a few hours, which would have been fine. Instead, we had what turned out to be a huge conversation, led by Drs. Ti-Fen Ting (Head of Environmental Studies), Amy McEwan (Biology), and Bill Carpenter (English). As it was one big dialogue between the professors and the students, I don’t have a lot of notes to go by as I write this, but it provoked some good thoughts.

The three professors first defined what sustainability means to them:

Ti-Fen: Three aspects must come together and be balanced for us to be sustainable – environmental well-being, social justice, and economic equity.
Amy: Any action that can be repeated over and over again in the future, from a scientific perspective, is sustainable
Bill challenged us with this Devil’s Advocate thought: What if all the commercials we see and hear about the environment and doing our part in recycling are just a front to get us to do small things that make us feel better, while getting us to ignore the larger political, social, and economic issues that are challenging people all over the world?

Dr. Carpenter’s questions prompted a great discussion, and I think it went hand in hand with the definitions Dr. Ting and Dr. McEwan gave as well. My own thoughts on this are probably pretty clear after reading through this blog, but I’ll put them out there anyway. I don’t necessarily think all the ads for being green are a front, but doing things like recycling and consuming less are sort of the easy things to do. And please don’t get me wrong – I don’t think any less of someone for doing only those things, because I think that doing those things alone saves resources and gets someone in the frame of mind to possibly make some bigger changes. If someone spends the rest of her life recycling everything she can, reducing the amount of resources she uses, and reusing other things, then she’s made a huge impact on the world in which she lives. We need to encourage people to do these things, however small they may seem, because if everyone were to do these small things, imagine how huge it would be!

But there are some people who are not content to leave it at the small things, those who want to move on to revolutionary things, like changing economic systems and the ways we think about social justice. As you can imagine, to me this is a huge stewardship issue, and I’ve written as much. Environmental health, social justice, and economic equity all feed into each other, and as such, according to Dr. Ting, we won’t have a sustainable planet until we have true balance in all areas.

This semester in my environmental ethics class, we’ve been studying the different arguments people make for saving the planet. I mention this because most of the arguments, no matter what lens one is looking at the issue through, have been about saving the environment for the environment’s sake. Last night, Dr. Ting mentioned that in one of her freshman seminars, the one thing she hears repeatedly from her students is that “we have to save the environment.” But last night, she asked us, “Why? The environment can take care of itself. The earth functions well enough on its own without humans around. So who are we really trying to save by saving the planet?”

Us. We’re trying to save our own butts. It’s all well and good to want to save the planet, but in the end, we have to realize that the beings who really, truly benefit from us trying to save the planet are the human beings. And for me, it was really good to hear professional academics say that we have to be concerned not only with the environment, but with other people in that environment, for us to be truly sustainable. It’s good to hear them say that our lack of sustainability is causing people all over the world to live in sub-human conditions, and that we need to fix those conditions while we fix the ecological issues.

I haven’t talked about the most recent election much at all, and I’m glad it’s past. One of the things that annoyed me about both of the candidates, and about politicians and the media in general, is how they say that clean coal is a great thing for our country’s energy future. Bullcrap. Coal is coal, and we don’t have the technology to sequester carbon yet. I live in Illinois. We are rich with coal mines here, and we use the coal for most of our electricity. Federal law mandates that power plants using coal have the right scrubbers to get as much of the sulfur and nitric oxides out of the emissions before we shoot them off into the air, but we don’t have anything that will allow us to sequester all the CO2 we’re releasing. Ergo, there’s no such thing as clean coal. Every time Obama or McCain brought up clean coal, I would rant about it, much to Jeff’s chagrin. But last night, Dr Ting said this: “Clean coal is an oxymoron.” Yes!

In closing, the three professors gave us their perspectives on what would change minds on the issue of sustainability. From the rhetoritician, language will change minds as we become more persuasive. From the biologist, we need to realize that we are all part of nature – we are not separate from the animals, because we ARE animals. And finally, from the environmental scientist, we need not only policy to change laws, but we need to not be so greedy and wasteful with our resources.

PDL Day 16

2008-11-12T09:31:00.001-08:00

Day 16 Thinking about my purpose

Point to ponder: Life is all about love.

Verse to remember: “The entire law is summed up in a single command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Galtians 5:14

Question to consider: Honestly, are relationships my first priority? How can I ensure that they are?

Honestly, no. Not even my relationship with my son, and I recognize my utter selfishness every day. For me, I have to remind myself that the people in my life and family are people I care about and love, and I sometimes have to force myself to spend time with them. But in doing so, I’ve not only done the right thing, I’ve connected personally to the person.

This is something I am working on, and given that I like my alone time and am becoming more and more of a hermit, it’s not an easy thing for me to work on, but I’m trying.

PDL Day 14

2008-11-12T09:29:00.000-08:00

Day 14 Thinking about my purpose

Point to ponder: God is real, no matter how I feel.

Verse to remember: “For God has said, ‘I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.’” Mark 12:30

Question to consider: How can I stay focused on God’s presence, especially when he feels so distant?

Ah, this I can do, because I rarely feel the presence of God. I just keep thinking about the path He’s set me on and follow it the best I can. I try to remember that I won’t always feel His presence, but that He’s always there. At least this I can usually do.

PDL Day 12

2008-11-12T09:24:00.001-08:00

Day 12 Thinking about my purpose

Point to Ponder: I’m as close to God as I choose to be.

Verse to Remember: “Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you.” James 4:8

Question to Consider: What practical choices will I make today in order to grow closer to God?

Based on day eleven, I need to talk to God more, but I’ve known that for a long time. I just don’t know if I can talk to God like I talk to Holly or Erin or Jeff. Not that I haven’t before, but I normally “pray” instead of “hold a conversation with” God. And I know that’s my biggest problem. I wonder if I’m afraid of sharing every single facet of my life with God. I know, I know, he knows everything already, but in a relationship with God, that’s really not the point. But I have parts of my life that I don’t share, even with those people closest to me, and I couldn’t hold anything back from God.

PDL Day 8

2008-11-12T09:20:00.001-08:00

Day 8 Thinking about my purpose

Point to Ponder: I was planned for God’s pleasure.

Verse to Remember: “The Lord takes pleasure in his people.” Psalm 149:4

Question to Consider: What common task could I start doing as if I were doing it directly for Jesus?

Again, all of them. The two things that really come to mind are work and school.

Work is a struggle sometimes. I like my job. I enjoy the research, and even if I don’t think I’m making a difference with what I write for the members, I am gaining knowledge that can help people in other parts of my life. So it’s rewarding. The problem I have is when we have slow times and I don’t have anything to do. This isn’t a problem in itself – it’s a problem when work picks up again and I get assignments. I find I get used to the slow times and doing things other than work, and I have trouble getting motivated to work when there’s work to do.

School is another area where I should concentrate more on doing it for Jesus. I think I’m supposed to be in school, but I’m not putting my whole effort into it. In fact, I’m kind of tired of being in school right now. I’ve had moments where I think I was nuts for going back for a master’s, and moments where I don’t know what I’m going to do with this degree after I’m done. I have moments where I think that maybe I should have just gone to seminary after all – but then I just know I wouldn’t enjoy seminary as much as I’m enjoying the INO program, and I wouldn’t really get the education I want out of it.

PDL Day 6

2008-11-12T09:18:00.000-08:00

Day 6, Thinking about my Purpose

Point to ponder: This world is not my home

Verse to remember: “So we fix out eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18

Question to Consider: How should the fact that life on earth is just a temporary assignment change the way I am living right now?

Well, I guess I’m trying to change the way I’m living right now and align my values to God’s. I’m trying to consume less and be less materialistic, while being a better steward of the people and things God has trusted me with. I’m trying to use the gifts He’s given me with the opportunities He’s given. I know there’s always room for improvement, but I’m trying.

PDL Day 5

2008-11-12T09:17:00.001-08:00

Day 5, Thinking about my Purpose

Point to ponder: Life is a test and a trust.

Verse to remember: “Unless you are faithful in small matter, you won’t be faithful in large ones.” Luke 16:10

Question to Consider: What has happened to me recently that I now realize was a test from God? What are the greatest matters God has entrusted to me?

Maybe it’s because I’m a pessimist, but I think I view most every situation as a test, though maybe while I’m not going through it. As a mom, my greatest test is how I behave when Liam’s not behaving. I’ve asked God for patience many times, forgetting that God doesn’t give us patience, but gives us opportunities to be patient. God gives me a lot of opportunities to be patient…

When Liam’s having a meltdown, I can choose to let his tantrum and his abundance of “NO!”s drive me to the edge, or I can choose to remain calm and rational. That doesn’t mean I don’t punish or don’t spank, but it means that I try to see Liam’s side of the situation and don’t react like I’m angry. Wednesday night is a good example, I that he didn’t obey me, enough so that not only did he get spanked, but when he still wouldn’t change his choices (and he did get choices), he ended up with an earlier bed time than normal. While I was trying to get him ready for bed, and he was kicking and punching me, he still got spanked for his actions, but he was told why he was being punished and I was able to remain mostly calm. And he was able to calm down and turn back into the cheerful little imp we love so much.

Sometimes I fail royally with him though, and I know it as it’s happening.

The greatest matters God has entrusted to me are my family and my finances. I’m not the best financial steward, but I’m becoming more aware of my choices, and that awareness had helped me make better choices in some situations. And of course, my family is the greatest matter of all. As far as Jeff is concerned, I haven’t been the best wife, but I have stood by him faithfully through every trial he’s gone through. How I react to those trials has gotten better over the years too. I’m not sure why God gave us an autistic son, but I know I wouldn’t trade Liam for the whole world. The absolute joy he has brought us is more astounding that I ever thought would happen, and though I fail as a mom many times, I just want to be the best mom I can and teach him about Jesus.

PDL Day 3

2008-11-12T09:15:00.001-08:00

Day 3, Thinking about my Purpose

Point to ponder: Living on purpose is the path to peace.

Verse to remember: “You, lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you.” Isaiah 26:3

Question to Consider: What would my family and friends say is the driving force of my life? What do I want it to be?

Poverty, homelessness, and the environment. Hopefully they’d also say that those things are the driving force because of the purpose God gave me.

I want my driving force to be whatever God wants it to be. Since I was 17, I’ve wanted to do nothing more with my life than what God wants me to do. I don’t see the point in doing anything else.

PDL Day 2

2008-11-12T09:10:00.000-08:00

I'm behind in posting from Purpose Driven Life, though I'm not behind in reading it.

I debated whether or not to post this one, but thought that maybe if someone else saw the struggles that I have you might be more open to sharing your own. Please feel free to not comment on this post, or to comment critically instead of sympathetically.

Day 2, Thinking about my Purpose

Point to ponder: I am not an accident.

Verse to remember: I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born.” Isaiah 44:2

Question to Consider: Knowing that God uniquely created me, what areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?

Most of it. I have a difficult time believing that God created me with so many physical struggles, or at least the potential to have so many physical struggles. My back is a constant worry and fear, and while I realize that much of the problems I have now are my fault, the initial problem – premature degenerative “disease” – is not. What was the purpose in creating a human body that would start to destroy itself at the age of 13? Now that I’m taking much better care of myself than I was even three years ago, it’s doubly frustrating and doubly hard to accept that I am never going to be able to do some things. I’m afraid to travel and some days, I’m even afraid to tie my own shoes.

That’s not really part of my appearance, and I struggle with my appearance as well. Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I think I’m not so bad looking; I might even say I’m pretty. But then I see pictures of myself and can’t believe I ever thought I might be pretty.

I still struggle with how we’ve been treated by the church over the past 15 years. Maybe I shouldn’t struggle with it. I’m sure that other people have struggles more with the church’s action than we have. But I still hurt, and think sometimes that maybe if we hadn’t been treated the way we were by Jenkinsburg and England Chapel that maybe our lives would be a little easier right now.

At the same time, I struggle with the knowledge that we might really be homeless someday so that I know what it’s like to be homeless. Can you help the homeless and poor without being homeless or poor yourself? Can you really understand what they’re going through?

I don’t like my personality, and I’m in no mood to discuss it.

2008-11-06T07:01:00.000-08:00

Questions for an Interview with three Pastors

2008-10-31T14:38:00.000-07:00

I am interviewing the pastors of my church Tuesday afternoon. Here are some of the possible questions I'll be asking them:

What do you think the Church's response should be to environmental problems?

Is overconsumption a "real" problem in the spiritual life of a Christian? If so, how can we deal with it in the Church?

Why do some Christians not use their gifts to serve inside or outside the Church?

How do we set Christians free in the church and the world to do what God has called them to do? Or how do we help them understand that they are set free to minister in the world?

What does it mean to keep the Sabbath? (in other words, what can we do and what should we avoid? Does keeping the Sabbath mean that we spend all day either in church/worship, or can we do anything that help us relax and rest?)

What happens during a spiritually fallow time (vs. a spiritually productive time)? Would this fallow time be comparable to a Sabbath, or is it something different?

How do we maintain a balance between giving and accumulating (things/money)? What level of giving or sacrifice is a burden to people?

Do you think we must live in affluence to evangelize the wealthy?

Is it necessary to spend millions of dollars on church buildings when there are so many people in the world who have virtually nothing? Instead of building buildings, could the church use tithes and gifts to take care of more poor people, much like the ancient Israelites and the first Christians did?

Sometime next week, I'll probably post their responses. It should be interesting - I've known two of these pastors since I was seventeen, and one of those two I met at summer camp. So I'm pretty excited to talk to them.

Purpose Driven Life, Day 1

2008-10-31T08:47:00.000-07:00

Day One – Thinking about my purpose

Point to ponder: It’s not about me.

Verse to remember: “Everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him.” Colossians 1:16b

Question to Consider: In spite of all the advertising around me, how can I remind myself that life is really about living for God, not myself?

I’ve lived in big cities, and I’ve traveled in big cities. There are billboards and businesses everywhere. And in the middle of all this wealth, there is a lot of poverty. In Chicago, just down the street from Saks Fifth Avenue, there are homeless people who beg for help and money.

I remind myself that life is living for God by thinking of the homeless people that are everywhere, by thinking of the people in Haiti whose lives and homes were destroyed this summer, accumulating poverty on poverty. By thinking of the children in Africa and Asia who are dying from easily treated illnesses and hunger. By thinking of the way we are destroying the earth for the sake of being independent.

Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger, Part 5

2008-10-31T07:08:00.000-07:00

Luke 4:14-21

14Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit, and news about him spread through the whole countryside. 15He taught in their synagogues, and everyone praised him.

16He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. And he stood up to read. 17The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:
18"The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed,
19to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."[e]

20Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him, 21and he began by saying to them, "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing."

It’s always been clear that there is a lot of injustice in this world. What has not always been so clear is how we might fix it.

Rich Christians has made me think more about the injustice that happens in the world. I am more aware of my choices and how some of them – especially my choices as a consumer – contribute to the amount of injustice present.

Do you know where your clothes come from? Have you ever paid attention to that detail? I think I’ve always looked, but it’s never really made a difference in my life until now. Clothing is a good example of a place where numerous injustices happens. Sweatshops employ people and pay only a few dollars a day. The workers labor long hours. Some sweatshops force their employees to live there. They get few work breaks. We pay a lot of money for clothing in this country, but very little of the profits are going to workers who make our clothes.

The garment industry isn’t the only place where people are treated unfairly, but when we spend money, we often support many cases of injustice and abuse. As followers of Christ, we are called to do justice and love mercy. Sider says, “God wills justice for the poor, not occasional charity. And justice means things like the Jubilee and the Sabbatical remission of debts. It means economic structures that guarantee all people access to the productive resources needed to earn a decent living” (Sider 100).

This “occasional charity” thing has really made an impact on me. Is what I’m doing right now just occasional charity? How do I, how do we as a nation, contribute to true justice – or not?

It seems like such a big thing, the task of righting social structures. It’s bigger than you and me combined; in fact, it’s bigger than a lot of groups and nations, but it’s something we should aspire to.

The Founding Fathers of America, in deciding how the States would be represented in the House of Representatives, said in our Constitution, “Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.” Africans and African Americans were only counted as three-fifths of a person in 1791, and they weren’t counted as free people. Slavery was an institution that became part of our nation before we were even a nation. Yet there were men who wanted to see slavery abolished at that early time in America’s history:

“In 1830, John Quincy Adams was elected to Congress as the representative of the 12th District in Massachusetts. He was outspoken about nationalism and abolition of slavery. He attempted to introduce amendments to the Constitution in 1839 which would prevent any person born in the U.S. from being born a slave. He additionally became involved as a proponent for the Amistad Africans in writings of late 1839 forward. He eventually joined the team defending the Africans and helped win their freedom in arguments before the U.S. Supreme Court.” (http://www.law.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/amistad/AMI_BADA.HTM)

On September 22, 1862, President Lincoln, who was in favor of abolishing slavery in the United States, issued the Emancipation Proclamation:

"That on the first day of January, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, all persons held as slaves within any State, or designated part of a State, the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States, shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free; and the Executive Government of the United States, including the military and naval authority thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of such persons, and will do no act or acts to repress such persons, or any of them, in any efforts they may make for their actual freedom.

“And upon this act, sincerely believed to be an act of justice, warranted by the Constitution, upon military necessity, I invoke the considerate judgment of mankind and the gracious favor of Almighty God.”
(http://www.usconstitution.net/eman.html)

On December 6, 1865, the Thirteenth Amendment was ratified and legally abolished the practice of slavery in the US:

1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

On February 3, 1870, the Fifteenth Amendment was ratified and gave all men the right to vote:

1. The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.

2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Though our country gave African Americans freedom and the right to vote, racism still existed in this country. We coined the phrase “Separate, but equal” and had to use military force to allow desegregation. But on August 28, 1963, Martin Luther King, Junior, spoke these words at the Lincoln Memorial:

But one hundred years later [after the Emancipation Proclamation], the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.
(http://www.usconstitution.net/dream.html)

King’s words prompted the Civil Rights Act in 1964. And still this country struggled with racism. Since then, the struggle against racism hasn’t gotten better; we have legally freed people who were in bondage, but we still keep many of them in chains because of our social policies.

Here is the point to this history lesson though (and thanks for indulging me): It’s a process. God asks us to contribute to the process of justice. We may never see the end results, but we are expected to make the changes we can. In 1830, John Quincy Adams supported abolition, and probably dreamed of the day when all people in America would be free. And though he worked to see it happen, he died before it did. In 1862, Abraham Lincoln freed those in bondage, but I doubt he thought that they’d be equal because of it. Martin Luther King, Junior died before he saw some of the extraordinary changes we’ve made here.

In Luke 4:14-21, Jesus announced that He was the fulfillment of prophecy and the One to set the captives free. While He only quoted part of Isaiah 61, I would argue that he fulfilled all of the words of the ancient prophet, who wrote:

Isaiah 61
The Year of the LORD's Favor
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,

2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.

5 Aliens will shepherd your flocks;
foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.

6 And you will be called priests of the LORD,
you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
and in their riches you will boast.

7 Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.

8 "For I, the LORD, love justice;
I hate robbery and iniquity.
In my faithfulness I will reward them
and make an everlasting covenant with them.

9 Their descendants will be known among the nations
and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
that they are a people the LORD has blessed."

10 I delight greatly in the LORD;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise
spring up before all nations.

The last verse says that the Lord will make righteousness and praise spring up like the soil makes a sprout come up and the garden causes the seed to grow. Seeds don't grow overnight, and righteousness is a process. Out of the process, we must begin the process of justice for all of God's children, not matter the color or culture - and even at the expense of our own comfort.

Thought for the Day

2008-10-31T06:35:00.000-07:00

Jeff subscribes to an email list called "Mikey's Funnies/Thot for the day". I though today's "funny," while not so funny, would be a good addition to this blog. Enjoy!

today's"FUNNY"=============================

An investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The banker complimented the fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The fisherman replied, "Only a little while."

The banker then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish?

The fisherman said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.

The banker then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

The fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a nap with my wife, stroll into the village each evening where I play guitar and sing with my friends. I have a full and busy life."

The banker scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and I could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to a big city where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?"

To which the banker replied, "15-20 years."

"But what then?"

The banker laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions."

"Millions...Then what?"

The banker said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a nap with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could play your guitar and sing with your friends."

today'sTHOT============================

If you are not content with what you have, you'll never be content with what you want.

The Purpose Driven Life

2008-10-29T13:15:00.000-07:00

I read this book for the first time when I was 28. I mention this because reading this is an important part of what got me to this moment in time.

When I was 28, I was working as a bank teller. From past posts, you know it wasn’t my favorite job in the world. I am fortunate enough that I’ve known from a youngish age what I’m supposed to be doing with my life, and being a bank teller isn’t it.

Even though I thought I knew what God was calling me to do with my life and what my purpose is, I was sort of stuck in how to get there. I was in a dead end job, didn’t have a bachelor’s degree, and didn’t have any plans to go back to school anytime soon. But I was really feeling the void in my life of not being in ministry somewhere, and I hoped that reading this book would give me some insight and kick-start some motivation, if I had any left.

The author, Rick Warren, recommends that the reader do this book as a study; instead of reading it from end to end, take it one chapter a day, reading slowly and thinking about what’s just been read. So I did that. I read one chapter a day for forty days, and at the end of that time, I was excited to start the journey back to ministry.

Since I’m probably going to be working with the poor and homeless most of the rest of my life, I decided that I would volunteer at our local Salvation Army shelter. I met with the person in charge one afternoon after work, got a tour of the building, and filled out all the paperwork that night. The sooner I got it in, the sooner I could start volunteering. The next morning, I woke up excited and with a plan to move forward.

Have you ever heard God speak, and you just knew it was God? I have. Most of the things I hear aren’t really words but impressions. But there have been 2 or 3 times when I’ve heard God say something quite clearly, and this next day was probably the first time I remember hearing it so clearly. It was a quiet day at work, and I was reading a book between customers, but thinking about the next step in my “Stephanie saves the world” plan (hahahaha). Out of nowhere, I hear, “It’s time to go back to school.” I’ll be honest; if it had just been that, I probably would have laughed it off and not paid attention, but the words were accompanied by an intense desire to get back into school. Remember, I started that day uninterested in going back to college, so this was a complete 180.

I never did follow up at the Salvation Army. But I looked at going back to school and finishing my education as the more important way for me to get back into ministry, and in the years since then, I have felt a very deep peace as confirmation of that choice. Right now, furthering my education is going to help me get back into ministry.

So that’s part of how I got to where I am right now. And starting today, I’m going to revisit this book – not because I need another kick-start, but because I need to read it as someone studying stewardship. This book covers (if I remember correctly) everything I’m studying this semester.

We all live out stewardship in different ways. As Christians, we have some of the same mandates, but the way we go about it can be quite different depending on the person. God tells each of us to spread the Gospel, but not everyone can be a Billy Graham. Some people, like my friend Erin, share Christ with people on airplanes bound for Ukraine. Some people, like my friend Holly, share the Gospel with people trying to stay sober by helping them work through the twelve steps. How each of us goes about doing the work God has prepared us to do is up to God. The Purpose Driven Life isn’t a book that gives you the steps to take to get to the goal. It’s a book that helps you discover what you need to do to discern and live out your purpose. There are no right or wrong answers and no definitive steps, except to love God and love your neighbor.

Over the next forty days, I’ll be sharing this journey with you as well. Think of it as a journey within a journey, because I’ll still be posting about the other books I’m reading too. I haven’t said nearly enough about Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger, so I’ll be posting about that again in the next few days. I’m not going to promise to post every single question that Warren poses, because some of them are pretty personal. But I promise to post at least every few days so you can get an idea of who I am and what my purpose is, beyond what I’ve posted about the books I’m reading.

Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger, Part 4

2008-10-28T12:53:00.000-07:00

People are funny when it comes to money.

I learned this when I started working as a bank teller. Banks are regulated by federal laws, and the people who enforce these regulations in your local bank branch are usually your friendly neighborhood tellers. Most people are ok with the regulations, but about once a day, there was usually one person who didn’t want to show his ID, or expected us to cash a check after she’d forged her husband’s signature in the endorsement (in front of the teller, I might add), or wanted us to not file a CTR.

People want their money and they want it now. Customers expected us to cash checks against accounts that had no money in them or give them money that was still unavailable to them. The unspoken saying among the bank tellers I worked with was “It’s not your money until I give it to you.” Banks might hold customer accounts, but if you look at the fine print when you open that account, you’ll probably read something like this: money in those accounts belongs to the bank until such a time as the customer makes a withdrawal that follows all the rules. In other words, money in your bank account isn’t yours until it’s in your hot little hands.

When it comes to money, we’re funny. We think we possess it, but more often than not, it possesses us. The power of money is really only the power of potential, because money, in itself, can’t do anything. It won’t feed your kids. It won’t get you to work. It won’t clean your dishes. But with money you can buy groceries, a car (or a bus pass), and a dishwasher (or a maid). Money can’t buy happiness, but it has the potential to buy things that will make your life easier and maybe give you a facsimile of happiness. And that is where it possesses us, in its potential to give us more and better happiness.

Why do we get so weird about money? It’s only bits of paper or metal that have been marked as currency. And the whole world is weird about money, lest you think it’s just certain individuals. Think about it this way: Anything that money can buy can usually be made at home with the right tools and resources. You could build your own dishwasher or make your own clothes. You can’t make your own money at home. Let me rephrase that – you can make money at home, with the right tools and ink. Making your own clothes or building a dishwasher won’t get you anything but new clothes or a dishwasher if someone finds out. Making your own money at home is a federal offense that will earn you jail time if someone finds out. I’ve dealt with counterfeit money before, and it gets sent straight to the FBI. All of this fuss happens over something that only has potential

But here’s the thing: even though we are in possession of wads of cash, we don’t own it. It’s not ours. Sider says, “God, the landowner, permits his people to sojourn in his good earth, cultivate it, eat its produce, and enjoy it beauty. But we are only stewards. Stewardship is one of the central theological categories of any biblical understanding of our relationship to the land and economic resources” (Sider 68).

In ancient times, land was capital. But among the ancient Israelites, there was an understanding that only God was the landowner. They could use the land (within reason), but they would never own it.

Here in America, we still value land and trying to own it, but we have traded land as the main currency for money. And God owns all of that, too.

Christians who are normally pretty sane about financial matters can get kind of funny about money in the church. One of the reasons I wanted to do this independent study is because of my experience of what “stewardship” means in the church. Generally, when the topic of stewardship comes up, most churchgoers think of money. I can’t blame them, to be honest. The only time I’ve heard of stewardship in most church settings has been at the beginning of a stewardship campaign – also known as the church’s yearly drive to beg for money from the congregation. Churchgoers have been trained to think of stewardship in financial terms. And so we get a little funny when money is mentioned inside church walls. Those of you who tithe and give offerings get offended because you are being hit up for yet more money, and might be made to feel guilty if you choose not to give more. Those of you who don’t give enough get mad because you’re tired of being hit up for money all the time.

Financial stewardship in the church is pretty simple. In the Old Testament, God commanded the Israelites to tithe:

Leviticus 27:30-32

30 " 'A tithe of everything from the land, whether grain from the soil or fruit from the trees, belongs to the LORD; it is holy to the LORD. 31 If a man redeems any of his tithe, he must add a fifth of the value to it. 32 The entire tithe of the herd and flock—every tenth animal that passes under the shepherd's rod—will be holy to the LORD.

Malachi 3:10-12

10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. 11 I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit," says the LORD Almighty. 12 "Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land," says the LORD Almighty.

As has been mentioned in previous posts, the tithe was used to take care of the poor and the Levites:

“Yahweh is the Lord of all, even economics. There is no hint here of a sacred law of supply and demand that operates independently of biblical ethics and the Lordship of Yahweh. The people of God should submit to God, and God demands economic justice among his people” (Sider 68).

Deuteronomy 14:28-29

28 At the end of every three years, bring all the tithes of that year's produce and store it in your towns, 29 so that the Levites (who have no allotment or inheritance of their own) and the aliens, the fatherless and the widows who live in your towns may come and eat and be satisfied, and so that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands.

Deuteronomy 26:12-15

12 When you have finished setting aside a tenth of all your produce in the third year, the year of the tithe, you shall give it to the Levite, the alien, the fatherless and the widow, so that they may eat in your towns and be satisfied. 13 Then say to the LORD your God: "I have removed from my house the sacred portion and have given it to the Levite, the alien, the fatherless and the widow, according to all you commanded. I have not turned aside from your commands nor have I forgotten any of them. 14 I have not eaten any of the sacred portion while I was in mourning, nor have I removed any of it while I was unclean, nor have I offered any of it to the dead. I have obeyed the LORD my God; I have done everything you commanded me. 15 Look down from heaven, your holy dwelling place, and bless your people Israel and the land you have given us as you promised on oath to our forefathers, a land flowing with milk and honey."

Those of us who follow Christ don’t necessarily have to tithe – but we do have to give, and we have to do it generously and with a grateful heart. Sider says, “The early church continued the pattern of economic sharing practiced by Jesus… Whenever anyone was in need, they shared. Giving surplus to needy brothers and sisters was not enough” (77). Consider this: When asked by spies if they should pay taxes to Caesar, “He [Jesus] said to them, "Then give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's."

When we get funny with money in the church, we are forgetting to give unto God what is God’s - and it’s all God’s.

Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger, Part 3

2008-10-28T12:46:00.000-07:00

10 "For six years you are to sow your fields and harvest the crops, 11 but during the seventh year let the land lie unplowed and unused. Then the poor among your people may get food from it, and the wild animals may eat what they leave. Do the same with your vineyard and your olive grove.

12 "Six days do your work, but on the seventh day do not work, so that your ox and your donkey may rest and the slave born in your household, and the alien as well, may be refreshed.
Exodus 23:10-12

1 The LORD said to Moses on Mount Sinai, 2 "Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'When you enter the land I am going to give you, the land itself must observe a sabbath to the LORD. 3 For six years sow your fields, and for six years prune your vineyards and gather their crops. 4 But in the seventh year the land is to have a sabbath of rest, a sabbath to the LORD. Do not sow your fields or prune your vineyards. 5 Do not reap what grows of itself or harvest the grapes of your untended vines. The land is to have a year of rest. 6 Whatever the land yields during the sabbath year will be food for you—for yourself, your manservant and maidservant, and the hired worker and temporary resident who live among you, 7 as well as for your livestock and the wild animals in your land. Whatever the land produces may be eaten.
Leviticus 25:1-7

There are so many dimensions to the above Scriptures that I’m not sure where to start. So I'll just start where my brain lands.

The first aspect of this is being a good steward of our time. Exodus 7:12 mentions the Sabbath day, the day of rest. We all need a day of rest, even the type A’s among us. I’m not really a type A, but I don’t relax or rest very well. God expects us to work, that much is clear, but he also expects us to set aside a whole day to rest and relax. He also expects us to allow the other people in our households to rest. He ALSO expects us to allow any animals we keep to rest. And finally, God expects that we will allow others to rest, even those who are foreigners to our land. Good, creative, productive work doesn’t come out of working ourselves without a break, and we aren’t built to go, go, go without a stop, stop, STOP! I’ll talk more about limits at a later time, but let me just say that if this wasn’t so important to God, it wouldn’t be Commandment Number 4.

Examine Exodus 23:10-11 and Leviticus 25:1-7. These two passages are both talking about the Sabbath year, yet they have very different messages.

Exodus 23:10-11 speaks about helping the poor. Of course, the Israelites were to help the poor anyway, but this Sabbath year they were to go so far as to let the land rest, and whatever the land produced on its own was to be left for the poor and the wild animals. If I’m not working the land, and you’re not working the land, and no one else is working the land, then no one can claim as their’s what the land produced on its own. What belongs to no one can be used by everyone. Economists call this concept the commons, but here, it goes beyond economics in that it allows a whole community to take care of its poor.

Leviticus 25:1-7 looks at the Sabbath year from an environmental point of view. Every seventh day, God tells us that we need to rest so that we can rest from the week behind us and gain strength for the week ahead. The same is true for letting the ground be fallow. When we use land continuously, nutrients in the soil are used up to grow crops. If we use the land too many years in a row, all the nutrients will be leached from the soil and the land won’t be able to produce anything. Letting the land lie fallow for a season allows the nutrients to build back up so that crops will succeed. Don’t believe that this is an environmental mandate? Ask an organic farmer how s/he grows crops. Crop rotation – letting land rest for a season – is a big part of organic farming. In this passage, the land isn’t exactly lying completely fallow, but the farmer wasn’t to do anything to work the land – no sowing, no pruning. Just as the body doesn’t rest itself when you’re resting (you’d be dead if it were), the land doesn’t really rest when we’re not working it. The land, like our bodies, is using its energy to heal and restore what has been lost, without having to expend that energy on something else, like actively growing crops.

Sider says, “God’s law also provides for liberation of soil, slaves, and debtors every seven years. Again, the concern is justice for the poor and disadvantaged as well as the well-being of the land” (70). What would happen if we truly practiced Sabbath today? Not just a day of rest, but a year of rest, of healing for the land, and allowing the poor to benefit from it?

Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger, Part 2

2008-10-16T10:22:00.000-07:00

“Give us this day our daily bread.”
Luke 11:3

Have you ever given thought to what you need to live?

Three years ago during a summer semester, I took a class about hidden messages in advertising. The point of the class wasn’t just that we are bombarded with advertising every single day, but that every ad was trying to make you see a need for something you didn’t already have. One of our major projects was to analyze a 30 second commercial and point out all the messages the viewer would see, frame by frame.

We have a lot of wants in this world. If you lived in a family like mine, you tried to really distinguish needs from simple wants, and maybe you still try to do that. The line between needs and wants is sometimes blurred, though. I heard a conversation in an elevator recently where one young woman was telling her friend that she needed a black coat. Ok, I get that. Then I heard her friend say, “But you just told me you have a brown coat and a grey coat. Why do you need a black coat too?”

The young woman, who was wearing black dress pants, said, “Because I need something to go with all my black pants. I can’t wear brown or grey with them.”

We have a need for warm clothes, yes. But does anyone needs three coats? Really?

In this advertising class, we learned about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and how advertisers use this Hierarchy to get us to buy things.

Physiological Needs
These are biological needs. They consist of needs for oxygen, food, water, and a relatively constant body temperature. They are the strongest needs because if a person were deprived of all needs, the physiological ones would come first in the person's search for satisfaction.

Safety Needs
When all physiological needs are satisfied and are no longer controlling thoughts and behaviors, the needs for security can become active. Adults have little awareness of their security needs except in times of emergency or periods of disorganization in the social structure (such as widespread rioting). Children often display the signs of insecurity and the need to be safe.

Needs of Love, Affection and Belongingness
When the needs for safety and for physiological well-being are satisfied, the next class of needs for love, affection and belongingness can emerge. Maslow states that people seek to overcome feelings of loneliness and alienation. This involves both giving and receiving love, affection and the sense of belonging.

Needs for Esteem
When the first three classes of needs are satisfied, the needs for esteem can become dominant. These involve needs for both self-esteem and for the esteem a person gets from others. Humans have a need for a stable, firmly based, high level of self-respect, and respect from others. When these needs are satisfied, the person feels self-confident and valuable as a person in the world. When these needs are frustrated, the person feels inferior, weak, helpless and worthless.

Needs for Self-Actualization
When all of the foregoing needs are satisfied, then and only then are the needs for self-actualization activated. Maslow describes self-actualization as a person's need to be and do that which the person was "born to do." "A musician must make music, an artist must paint, and a poet must write." These needs make themselves felt in signs of restlessness. The person feels on edge, tense, lacking something, in short, restless. If a person is hungry, unsafe, not loved or accepted, or lacking self-esteem, it is very easy to know what the person is restless about. It is not always clear what a person wants when there is a need for self-actualization.
(from Psychology - The Search for Understanding by Janet A. Simons, Donald B. Irwin and Beverly A. Drinnien, West Publishing Company, New York, 1987)

We have these really basic needs for air, food, and water. Without one of these things, we die. After we have all these needs met, we are free to look for the “higher” needs of shelter and safety. Without shelter and safety, we may or may not live, but our chances of life are better if we have them. After that are the other higher needs, those of love and affection, esteem, and self-actualization. You aren’t going to keel over from a lack of self-esteem or self-actualization, but to have the basics in these departments certainly makes life better. The need for love is a tricky one. As an adult, it’s great to have someone to love and to be loved in return, but a lack of love won’t cause an adult’s death. Children are another story; they seem to have a need for love and affection to flourish and thrive.

Think about the commercials you’ve seen just in the past day. Lipstick? ‘That’s just to help me look pretty,’ you think. But why? Why do you want to look pretty? Do you want to feel better about yourself, or attract a mate (esteem or love)? How about those commercials for cruise ships? Well, they might be trying to sell you love (you could find a mate on a ship), esteem (people might be impressed when you tell them you’re going on a cruise), or self-actualization (hey, you were BORN to sail the high seas!).

Advertisers are trying to get us to meet our wants, but Jesus calls us to live differently. In the Lord’s Prayer, He tells the disciples to ask God for their daily bread. And now we’re back to the first question I asked: Have you ever given thought to what you need to live?

Obviously, we need air, food, and water to physically survive, and a safe place to live to protect us from the elements and those who might do us harm. But even within our needs are a range of things we need vs. those we just want. Let’s start with food, shall we? The three basic building blocks of nutrition are carbohydrates, proteins, and fats (any chemistry book will tell you this). You need protein, but does that mean you need to eat pheasant and steak every night when chicken and hamburger will do? If you want to go to an even more basic level, do you need animal proteins when vegetable proteins will do just as well?

So here’s part of my point: sometimes we confuse our standard of living for our basic needs, but only when it comes to ourselves. We have a much easier time telling others what their basic needs are.

Sider has a different view of a person’s basic needs. In Rich Christians, he talks about the life of the ancient Israelites and how they lived. They weren’t poor farmers struggling to survive. On what God thought as “necessary for life,” Sider says, “ ‘Necessities’ is not to be understood as the minimum necessary to keep from starving. In the non-hierarchical, relatively egalitarian society of small farmers... Families possessed resources to earn a living that would have been considered reasonable and acceptable, not embarrassingly minimal” (67). Later, he says, “Proverbs 30:8-9 is a marvelous summary: ‘Give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me, lest I be full, and deny Thee, and say, ‘who is the Lord?’ or lest I be poor, and steal, and profane the name of my God’” (98).

While our most basic needs are for air, food, and water, what I’ve read over the past two months leads me to believe that God doesn’t want us to survive – He wants us to live and thrive. He wants us to have not just what it takes to survive, but a basic level of comfort that allows us balance, so we neither deny nor profane Him.

He doesn’t just want you and I to have that level of comfort though. God wants every other person He created to have that same level of comfort. Sider asks, “Are we not guilty of greed when we demand our ever-higher standard of living while neglecting millions of children who are starving to death each year?” (96). So when we give blankets to the homeless, when we ourselves have a spare bed at home, we’re being greedy. When we stockpile food so that we don’t bore our palates, but put only generic rice and dried beans in the food drive at work, we’re guilty of greed (I’m guilty of this one). We need to help others get to this basic level of comfort, but it’s going to take some sacrifice on our parts to do it:

“God’s people must practice self-denial to aid the poor and share the gospel. But we must maintain a Biblical balance. It is not because food, clothes, wealth, and property are inherently evil that Christians today must lower their standard of living. It is because others are starving. Creation is good. But the One who gave us this gorgeous token of affection has asked us to share it with our brothers and sisters” (98).

Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger, Part 1

2008-10-02T14:50:00.000-07:00

“Faith without works,
Like a song you can’t sing,
It’s about as useless as a screen door on a submarine.”
Screen Door, Rich Mullins

Of all the books I’ve read so far for this study of stewardship, Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger is the one I’ve not only enjoyed the most, it’s also the one that has had the most impact on my own thoughts about stewardship. I’ll make a guess right now that of all the books I’ll read about stewardship this semester, this will be the one that impacts me the most.

Rich Christians looks at just about every aspect of stewardship through the lens of how our stewardship – or lack of it – affects the poor people of this world. The author, Ronald J. Sider, leaves no stone unturned in his quest to show the reader how what we do in the industrialized North either blesses or curses those in the developing South. In fact, this book is so complete, and everything I’ve ever wanted to tell people, that I’m wondering if I shouldn’t just buy all the copies I can find on Amazon and give them to people, instead of trying to write my own version. Sider covers the environment, finances, spiritual gifts, and time, and pretty much does away with any excuses we might have for not helping those in need.

We walk a fine line when it comes to a theology of salvation. By that, I mean that there are those who believe that they’re going to heaven simply because they’re good people. Romans 3:23-24 says “23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” So those people of the world who believe that they’re “good enough” on their own are, quite simply, wrong. Salvation comes through Jesus, since no one is “good enough”: “8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9). The great thing about this is that all you have to do is have faith in Jesus (that’s a little simplistic, but my intent is not to go into a whole explanation of how one becomes a Christ-follower) and God wipes the slate clean and one becomes as sinless as Jesus.

But for those of us who have been following Christ for a long time, we often forget that while our salvation isn’t based on works, how we demonstrate our faith is: “…faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead” (James 2:17).

I don’t know why we forget this so often. I’m guilty of it too. The weird thing is that we look to Paul and James to teach us these things, but they are just telling us what Jesus already did:

25On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"

26"What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?"

27He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'[a]; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'[b]"

28"You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."

29But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"
(Luke 10:25-29)

Jesus goes on to tell the parable of the Good Samaritan, in which a Jew traveling between Jerusalem and Jericho is robbed and beaten by thieves, who leave him for dead by the side of the road. A priest and a Levite both pass the victim and decide not to help him, but a Samaritan sees the man and takes pity on him. The Samaritan takes care of the Jew, putting him on his own donkey to get to a safe place to tend to the Jew’s injuries.

This is a radical concept for the Jews listening to Jesus right then: the Jews and the Samaritans hated each other at this time, and helping a Samaritan would probably have been worse than helping a Roman at the time (and you know how much the Jews liked the Romans, since they were occupying Israel at the time). If I understand the law correctly, just touching a Samaritan would make a Jew unclean, something that requires significant ritual and sacrifice to amend.

At the end of the parable, Jesus asks:

36"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"

37The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him."
Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."
(Luke 10:36-37)

Jesus redefines the word “neighbor” in that moment, rescuing it from the warped, earthly notion that we have created for it. What Jesus is saying to the Jews, and to us, is that it doesn’t matter what we think about other races, colors, and cultures. It doesn’t matter what we think about someone’s religious beliefs. Our neighbor isn’t just our friend or the person who lives in the same homogenous neighborhood that we live in; our neighbor is whoever shows mercy on us.

Left to my own devices and mentality, I probably wouldn’t show mercy to many people, so I wouldn’t be a neighbor to many. You might be thinking that no one has been a neighbor to you, in that no one has shown you mercy. But Jesus, God Incarnate, has mercy on you, every single moment that you ask for it. Jesus picks us up from the side of the road, saves us from those who would harm us, and is our neighbor. And then he tells us to show mercy to others, to be a good neighbor to them.

John 13:34 puts it this way: “34"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

All people will know that we follow Jesus because of what we do, not through the faith we profess with our mouths. We are saved by grace through faith, but faith without works is dead. Jesus calls us to be neighbors to all, to love one another, and we show our love by doing things for others.

Rich Christians takes on the argument that what we believe is more important than what we do, and Sider explains that faith and works must work in tandem in our lives. In the next few posts, I’ll show you what he says about the typical American Christian and how we can be better stewards. We are to be neighbors to the poor people of this world – as God has shown us mercy, so must we also show mercy to them.

The Bailout and Stewardship

2008-09-29T11:45:00.000-07:00

"It's extraordinary to me that the United States can find $700 billion to save Wall Street and the entire G8 can't find $25 billion dollars to saved 25,000 children who die every day from preventable diseases."
Bono on the Bailout

This weekend, a friend of mine from New York was in Chicago, and I was able to take the train up there to visit her and another of our friends who lives in Elgin. Melissa commented that she hadn't seen any homeless people yet, which surprised her because homeless people were all over NYC.

As we strolled up the Magnificent Mile, I thought it was a little odd myself, but then again, I'm from a small city that isn't as busy as Chicago. The last time I was in Chicago, I only saw homeless people at night. So maybe they only come at at night.

Not but twenty minutes later, I heard a woman say, "Please, can someone help me?" I turned to see who was calling out, and this woman sat in the grass, holding a sign that said she was homeless and needed help. In the next fifteen minutes, I saw four other homeless people, including one elderly man, who looked barely conscious, in a wheelchair.

Cities, of course, are a study in contrasts. They always have been:

46Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (that is, the Son of Timaeus), was sitting by the roadside begging. (Mark 10:46)

1Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for a feast of the Jews. 2Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. 3Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. (John 5:1-3)

Here we have two major cities in Israel, places of business and trade, and both have beggars. People probably passed these beggars all the time, so used to seeing the poor that they rarely noticed them, much less heard their cries.

That's kind of what it was like in Chicago this weekend. Here I was, surrounded by fancy hotels, upscale retail establishments, and museums out the wazoo. People swarmed by me (at one point, Melissa leaned over to me and said, "This is what a New York sidewalk looks like."). And yet, in the middle of all this money and style, people walked right on by the poor people, some of whom cried out for help.

To start this post, I quoted Bono, who wondered why we have so much money to bail out ailing business from the mortgage crisis, but no money to help prevent disease in children. Or why do we have so much money to bail out these businesses, but not enough money to pay for single payer health insurance, homelessness prevention, or aid for those in poverty around the world?

Our federal government showed its priorities in introducing this bail out package. Hint: it's not people.

The House of Representatives voted against the bill today:

House ignores Bush, rejects $700B bailout bill
By JULIE HIRSCHFELD DAVIS, Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON - In a stunning vote that shocked the capital and worldwide markets, the House on Monday defeated a $700 billion emergency rescue for the nation's financial system, ignoring urgent warnings from President Bush and congressional leaders of both parties that the economy could nosedive without it. The Dow Jones industrials plunged nearly 800 points, the most ever for a single day.

Democratic and Republican leaders alike pledged to try again, though the Democrats said GOP lawmakers needed to provide more votes. Bush huddled with his economic advisers about a next step. The House was to reconvene on Thursday instead of adjourning for the year as planned.

Stocks began falling even before the 228-205 vote to reject the bill was officially announced on the House floor. The 777-point decline for the day surpassed the 721-point previous record, on the day after the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks, though in percentage terms it was well short of the drops on Black Monday of October 1987 and at the start of the Depression.

In the House chamber, as a digital screen recorded a cascade of "no" votes against the bailout, Democratic Rep. Joe Crowley of New York shouted news of the falling stocks. "Six hundred points!" he yelled, jabbing his thumb downward.

Bush and a host of leading congressional figures had implored the lawmakers to pass the legislation despite loud protest from their constituents back home. Not enough members were willing to take the political risk just five weeks before an election.

More than two-thirds of Republicans and 40 percent of Democrats opposed the bill.

The overriding question for congressional leaders was what to do next. Congress has been trying to adjourn so that its members can go out and campaign for the election that is just five weeks away.

"The legislation may have failed; the crisis is still with us," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., in a news conference after the defeat.

"What happened today cannot stand," Pelosi said. "We must move forward, and I hope that the markets will take that message."

At the White House, Bush said, "I'm disappointed in the vote. ... We've put forth a plan that was big because we've got a big problem." He pledged to keep pressing for a measure that Congress would pass.

Republicans blamed Pelosi's scathing speech near the close of the debate — which attacked Bush's economic policies and a "right-wing ideology of anything goes, no supervision, no discipline, no regulation" of financial markets — for the vote's failure.

"We could have gotten there today had it not been for the partisan speech that the speaker gave on the floor of the House," Minority Leader John Boehner said. Pelosi's words, the Ohio Republican said, "poisoned our conference, caused a number of members that we thought we could get, to go south."

Rep. Roy Blunt, R-Mo., the whip, estimated that Pelosi's speech changed the minds of a dozen Republicans who might otherwise have supported the plan.

That was a remarkable accusation by Republicans against Republicans, said Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass., chairman of the House Financial Services Committee: "Because somebody hurt their feelings, they decided to punish the country."

The presidential candidates kept close track — from afar.

In Colorado, Democrat Barack Obama said, "Democrats, Republicans, step up to the plate, get it done."

Republican John McCain spoke with Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke before leaving Ohio for a campaign stop in Iowa, a spokeswoman said.

The legislation the administration promoted would have allowed the government to buy bad mortgages and other rotten assets held by troubled banks and financial institutions. Getting those debts off their books should bolster those companies' balance sheets, making them more inclined to lend and easing one of the biggest choke points in the credit crisis. If the plan worked, the thinking went, it would help lift a major weight off the national economy that is already sputtering.

Monday's action had been preceded by unusually aggressive White House lobbying, and Fratto said that Bush had been making calls to lawmakers until shortly before the vote.

Bush and his economic advisers, as well as congressional leaders in both parties had argued the plan was vital to insulating ordinary Americans from the effects of Wall Street's bad bets. The version that was up for vote Monday was the product of marathon closed-door negotiations on Capitol Hill over the weekend.

"We're all worried about losing our jobs," Rep. Paul Ryan, R-Wis., declared in an impassioned speech in support of the bill before the vote. "Most of us say, 'I want this thing to pass, but I want you to vote for it — not me.'"

Said Boehner, after the vote: "Americans are angry, and so are my colleagues. They don't want to have to vote for a bill like this. But I have concerns about what this means for the American people, what it means for our economy, and what it means for people's jobs. I think that we need to renew our efforts to find a solution that Congress can support."

I got an email today from my cousin that has a solution. Congress might not support it, but I'm betting the rest of America would:

Good afternoon my fellow Americans,

I'm against the $85,000,000,000..00 bailout of AIG.

Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend.

To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+.

Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might b e a fair stab at adults 18 and up..

So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billion that equals $425,000.00.

My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free.

So let's assume a tax rate of 30%.

Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.

That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.

A husband and wife has $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?

Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved.

Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads

Put away money for college - it'll be there

Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs.

Buy a new car - create jobs

Invest in the market - capital drives growth

Pay for your parent's medical insurance - health care improves

Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other com pany that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ( "vote buy" ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.

If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG - liquidate it.

Sell off its parts.

Let American General go back to being American General.

Sell off the real estate.

Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't.

Sure it's a crazy idea that can "never work."

But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!

How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion!

My "We Deserve It Dividend" is more deserving for US, than the "geniuses" at AIG or in Washington DC!!!

And remember, The Brannon plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh...I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

Kindest personal regards,

Stephen T Brannon -- A Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic

PS: Feel free to pass this along to your pals as it's either good for a laugh or a tear or a very sobering thought on how WE ordinary people can think better than our current government representatives and could develop a much better economic bail-out plan!!!

Of course, this email was a joke (sort of), but it shows how ridiculous the whole thing is. These companies were poor stewards of their money and made bad loans to people who wanted cheap payments on mortgages they couldn't afford. When the recession began and people couldn't make their house payments, the mortgage companies started to see the results of their bad stewardship. And now they want to be saved.

Instead of saving a few companies from their own stupidity, why don't we save some people from their poverty? Why can't we use that money to help sick people pay their doctors bills, or buy homes for those who have had to choose between food and a mortgage payment? Maybe we should help developing countries with their food supplies instead of making sure a few presidents and CEOs don't lose their homes and cars.

Themes in Stewardship

2008-09-25T12:22:00.000-07:00

I've just finished the fifth book I'm reading for this class and will be writing about it more later, but I've noticed some common themes in what I've read so far:

They also stressed that Christians should not work only to satisfy their own needs, but also in order to have something to share with their needy fellow human beings (Volf, 72).

First, God wants all people to have the productive resources to be able to earn a decent living and be dignified members of their community. Second, God wants the rest of us to provide a generous share of the necessities of life to those who cannot work (Ronald J. Sider, 86)

Correspondingly, the mere refusal of the wealthy to aid the poor can be considered a criminal act [Ezekiel 16:49](Volf, 194).

He [Jesus] fed the hungry. And he warned his followers in the strongest possible words that those who do not feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and visit the prisoners will experience eternal damnation [Matthew 25:31-46](Sider, 47).

These are just a few of the similarities. Discussions on being a good steward of time, the Sabbath, environment, and spiritual gifts show more similarities. I've also read a lot more about Adam Smith and Karl Marx than I expected I would, but when one is talking about stewardship, finances and the economy are usually where people start.

People are increasingly aware that the tradition that Smith started does not have solutions to some major problems plaguing the world today (such as widespread abject poverty, dehumanization, and global ecological disaster). The Marxist brand of socialism being completely discredited, the capitalism being completely inadequate, concerned people worldwide are searching for a still-elusive third way (Volf, x).

Sider's Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger, which I'll be posting about next, talks about this idea of a third way. Both authors spell it out pretty clearly - this third way is the way of sacrifice and sharing. This doesn't mean socialism or communism, at least not in the sense Marx intended and how we understand it today. Volf and Sider are talking about the way the earliest Christians lived. They held property, but sold it if one of them, or if anyone in their community, had a need. They lived together and took care of each other. They gave money to the poor. This third way is a generosity so wide it allows us to sell our cars, diamond rings, and houses so that we might make sure that a family had groceries, or a child could have emergency surgery.

Doing One Thing Well (Work in the Spirit, Part 3)

2008-09-25T09:39:00.001-07:00

Plato grasped the many benefits of the division of labor very well when he said that "all things are produced more plentifully and easily and of a better quality when one man does one thing which is natural to him and does it at the right time, and leaves other things" (31).

I am not a Supermom. I refuse to ever be a Supermom. I love my son, but I cannot do it all. I am a full time wife, mom, employee, and student. He always has clean clothes (though sometimes he has to wear jeans in shorts weather), but his room is another story. For me to do all of these things, something has to drop. As a result, my house usually looks like it's been hit by a tornado. Last night, I did squat. Actually, last night I did the absolute most important thing in the world - I sat on the couch with Liam cuddled in my lap. We read books, we talked to grandma and papa on the phone, and we tickled each other. I had other things I should have been doing, but my priority was him.

We are not Superhumans, and no individual can do everything. Oh, we try. And then we get severely burned out, or depressed, or angry at others. There are a million and one things you can do in a day, but you only have 24 hours to do them. Some of you don't get enough sleep or relaxation as it is (you know who you are).

Division of labor is a good thing. Think about everything you'd have to do if we had to do everything ourselves. Make a peanut butter sandwich? Not so easy when you have to make the bread and the peanut butter on your own. Especially not so easy when you have to grow the peanuts, wheat (flour), sugarcane (sugar), vegetables (for veg oil), and other assorted grains that go into bread. Add jelly to the mix, and you're screwed. With division of labor, you can pay someone else to make the bread and peanut butter for you, saving you time and energy to do whatever it is you do all day. This is what keeps all those companies in business, and allows us to buy the things we need - like peanut butter and bread.

But Plato's emphasis wasn't on making money; it was on someone focusing her time and attention on making one thing of a better quality and more plentifully, because making that thing is natural to her, it's done at the right time, and she leaves other thing for others to do.

Volf ties this in with a theology of work because this ties in very well with spiritual gifts. We don't all have the same gifts. There are things I can do, like administration and teaching, but they aren't my primary gifts and I don't really enjoy doing them. On the other hand, two of my top gifts seem to be giving and mercy - so, if you want my help, show me pictures of starving people or a homeless man sleeping on the street in the middle of February. You'll get your money (just make sure to have some Kleenex handy). The point is that there are some things we should do - must do - because we have the gifts and skills to do them, and there are some things we should leave alone because we are neither gifted nor talented in those areas. Plumbers don't build houses and carpenters don't fix toilets. If you are gifted in evangelism, why would you even think about doing administration stuff?

Using our gifts is a natural process. I am a better giver than my husband, but he is better at showing hospitality to others than I am. Where one of us leaves something, another will do that. In this way, we all fit together, much like a puzzle. It's a complete picture when our grooves and lines fit together and not one of us is missing.

What you are gifted to do, do and do it well. Leave the rest to those of us who have those gifts.

Work as Vocation (Work in the Spirit, Part 2)

2008-09-25T07:41:00.000-07:00

One of the things I really liked about Work in the Spirit is that Volf redefines the role of work in the life of Christian. You might have a heard a Christian say they are called to be this or that, as in "God has called me to be a doctor" or "I've felt called to the ministry since I was ten." This is why a lot of Christians might call their job a vocation instead of just a job; they believe that God has called them to that line of work.

Volf argues that we should look at work not as a calling, but as an expression of our spiritual gifts:

In accordance with the plurality of charisms, there can be a plurality of employment or jobs without any of them being regarded theologically as inferior, or a mere "job on the side" (117).

In contrast to this is the view of work as a vocation, in which you feel called to one thing and stick to it. You might be miserable in your work, but if you find something else, then you might feel as if you are disobeying God.

I didn't get the impression that Volf was completely arguing against the concept of being called to so something, but rather that he was arguing more for being called - and able - to do many different things because of how we are gifted.

My husband has felt called to be in ministry as long as I've known him (so have I, so that works out well for us). Over the years, that call has been more defined as youth ministry. He gets along with adolescents pretty well, and he'll tell you (if you know him well enough) that he shares a brain with most adolescents. He enjoyed doing volunteer youth ministry, but the few times he's been the youth pastor haven't been quite as enjoyable (paid youth ministry involves a lot less working with kids and a lot more pacifying of parents). In a complete 180, he's now waiting tables in a fancy Asian place here in town. It's one of those jobs that people work typically as a stepping stone or a side job, but for him, it's neither. This is his real job, and it pays like a real job. Jeff's gifts lie in hospitality and helps - does it surprise you that he likes his job then? He's a great waiter; yes, I'm biased, but I've seen him in action. Oh, and other people will tell you the same thing, as he has regulars who ask for him to wait on them. Waiting tables would wear me out emotionally and spiritually, but I'm an extreme introvert (those of you who know me in real life are probably laughing at this, but think about when you first met me and how little I talked to you or looked you in the eye. And how quickly I escaped.) and people wear me out. For my husband, people are energizing. I'm extremely content to sit in an office all day long and not talk to another soul, but that would kill Jeff.

Jeff's worked a lot of jobs over the course of the 17 years I've known him, and the jobs he's been happiest at have been the ones that allow him to use his gifts to wait on others. He has a MBA, and he's happier and less stressed now (working what some would consider "not a real job") than he was when he was in a "real job."

For the Christian, ministry happens everywhere, and believers don't have to be pastors to do ministry. In fact, Jesus calls all of us to be ministers:

Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. (Matthew 28:19-20)

You might not be called to or gifted for liturgical work, but you are still expected to be minister to others. You can do this in any job.

When you base your life on being called to a certain job, it's stifling and can be guilt-inducing. And what happens if you are forced to resign or fired? Were you ever really called to that job, or did someone get it wrong (either the decision to hire or fire you)? The best thing about Volf's redefinition of this issue is that it's liberating. There's a freedom in doing work that uses the gifts you've been given, and there's a freedom in knowing that you can change jobs at any time and switch to using other gifts - without guilt.

Quote of the Day

2008-09-19T20:31:00.000-07:00

"Americans always do the right thing, after they've exhausted every other alternative."
Andrew Sullivan on Real Time with Bill Maher, September 19, 2008

Work in the Spirit, Part 1

2008-09-18T12:05:00.000-07:00

I'll probably get back to Irresistible Revolution for one or two more posts, but I want to start talking about Miroslav Volf's Work in the Spirit (so I'm only one book behind what I'm reading, ha).

I like my job. For the past year, I've been a Research Associate for our state's General Assembly. I research questions for people and write letters explaining the research. Like any job, it has its bad days, but I'm doing something that I enjoy and I'm getting paid for it. There's the added bonus that I adore the people I work with, who are not just smart, but are some of the absolute nicest people I've ever met who go out of their ways to help everyone else out. I can't say enough good things about this place or the work I do.

My life hasn't always been that way. Up until August of last year, I was a bank teller. In itself, it wasn't a bad job. I was there for eight years, and the first three were pretty good. Then we had a few situations with other employees that made the work environment go downhill. Add to that long-term employees who hate their jobs and are bitter towards the company they work for, plus customers who don't like the policy changes, and you have a job that's not fun in any sense of the word. Oh, and let's add co-workers who would just as soon kick you in the teeth as look at you, and you have a pretty good idea of what my job at the bank was like.

After I graduated from UIS in 2006, I spent a year looking for a job, but there wasn't much to do in Springfield with the degree I had, and I really didn't want to settle for any old job. I wanted one that I would enjoy.

This brings me to the reason behind this post. I have been telling people for years that no one should have to settle for just any job. We are all gifted and talented in certain areas, and "called" to do something. When you spend 40 hours (or more) a week at a place, you should enjoy being there. It won't be fun every single day, but it should be something that you enjoy doing and can do well, using the gifts and talents that you have. Why, then, do so many people settle for jobs they don't enjoy, or worse yet, hate?

This is what I liked so much about Work in the Spirit - it validated what I've been saying.

...Since the whole life of a Christian is by definition a life in the Spirit, work cannot be an exception, whether that work is ecclesiastical or secular (viii).

According to Volf, work shouldn't be a place where you turn off your spiritual gifts. In fact, one should use their gifts at work whether or not they work in the church. And here's another gem:

One should not define charisma so narrowly as to include in the term only ecclesiastical activities (111).

A few posts back, I listed the more commonly known gifts. Generally, when Christians take a spiritual gifts inventory, these gifts are listed. Sometimes there are a few more than that, defined by Scripture and added according to what the author thinks should be included. The last inventory I took had the gift of writing on there, which was one of my top three gifts. I'm not sure I'd define writing as a gift so much as a talent, but it becomes important for me personally because either way, I'm using a gift or a talent to earn money. I'm using a skill I've acquired and practiced over the years (if you go to the very beginning of the blog, you can see how my creative writing skills were honed over my last semester as an undergrad) to earn a living. I hope to continue to do so throughout my life. And I don't work in the church.

Do I think I'll be at this job forever? Probably not. I think God has put me here right now to learn. I'm learning here, I'm learning a ton in school, and I think God is preparing me for what will come next. But it's enough that He's put me here right now and I can still use the gifts He's given me.

Do you enjoy what you do each day? If you could do any job in the world, would it be the one you're doing now? If the answer is an emphatic no, then start looking for another job. I know that's not easy right now, but you are worth the trouble of finding somewhere else to work. If you're miserable in your job, you don't have to be. If all that's standing in the way of you getting a job you enjoy is a college degree, then go get one. If it's money, ask yourself if the money you're making is worth the stress you feel each day you stay at a place you hate. Think of what you could give up to have a more enjoyable working environment. Having cable tv, a cell phone, internet service, a larger house, etc., aren't worth the stress of a bad job.

Missed Opportunities

2008-09-18T06:39:00.001-07:00

Do you ever feel like you've missed an opportunity to serve or be a good steward?

I do. I try not to let it happen too often because I get a case of the guilts and "what ifs?". And since I think I missed an opportunity last night, I'm living both right now.

Let me give you some background: Three years ago, I took a class that included some study of Haiti and the Dominican Republic. I haven't kept a really close watch on either country since then, but have made a mental note whenever Haiti's been mentioned in the news, mainly because it's such a poor country. When the price of food skyrocketed earlier this year, there were riots in Haiti. Since then, Haiti's been on my mind, especially in the past month as the people try to recover from four severe storms.

Last night was a nice night, so the front door was opened to get some fresh air in the house. I was in the kitchen when I heard this noise outside the screen door, and this young woman comes bouncing up to the door saying hello. Turns out she was selling magazines. She introduced herself, and between her name and her accent, I decided she was probably Haitian (which is odd, because I don't know that I've been around a lot of Haitians to recognize the accent). As part of her schpiel, she said, "I know it's you buying a magazine, but what it really is is you investing in a life." I kept my eyeroll to myself; even though I didn't want any magazines, I try to be polite to people who sell stuff for a living.

Anyway, as I was looking at the list of magazines, she asks, "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Well, sure, you can ask me a personal question," I told her, in the tone of voice that I hope conveyed I might not give her the answer.

"What was your first job? This is my first job, and I wondered what yours was."

OK, that brought me up short. Of all the questions she could have asked me, I wasn't expecting that one. So I told her that my first real job (not counting all the babysitting gigs I'd done before) was working in a greenhouse. I decided that since we were asking personal questions, I'd take my turn as well. "You have a very interesting accent. Where are you from?"

"Oh, I'm from Haiti."

"Do you still have family there?"

"Yes. My father and grandmother are still there."

At this point I looked up from the list of magazines I was still perusing. "Are they OK?"

"Yes, they're both OK and safe."

"Good. I'm glad to hear that."

I didn't buy any magazines. I told her to come back sometime next week and between now and then I'd think about it. I could tell she was disappointed, but honestly, I don't need or want any magazines. I subscribe to one already, and I barely have time to read it anymore. Magazines aren't something I tend to buy someone as a gift unless I know as specific one to get. So I didn't lie to her. I just had the intention of thinking, "Yeah, I don't need any more magazines. Now, how do I tell her politely so that she doesn't try to wear me down with the rest of her sales pitch?"

Let me tell you what I've really been thinking: first, I told God why I shouldn't feel guilty about saying no, then I said that the whole 'investing in a life' thing was bull. If I wanted to invest in a life, I wouldn't do it by buying a magazine subscription. In my opinion, that was designed by some slick sales manager somewhere who wanted to guilt people into buying magazines. I'm trying to unclutter my life and spend less money, so I don't need another ream of paper lying around collecting dust!

But the more I thought about it, the more I think I made a mistake. I don't know what company this was that she was selling magazines for, but she told me very clearly that she was trying to become a manager, and this was how I could help her. I don't so much care about that - I mean, yeah, I'd like her to do well, but I think there's got to be a better way than going door to door selling magazines. But that's just my opinion, and selling things door to door is a valid way to make money. What I care about is this 'investing in a life' statement. What if she came to America to make some money so that she could take care of her family in Haiti? If I buy a magazine subscription, it could help her become a manager with this company, and she'd be able to send more money to her family. Haitians need all the help they can get right now, and that's how I figure this might have been a missed opportunity for me to be a better steward.

I've been praying for God to help me be a better steward. If you've ever prayed for patience, then you know how this goes - you pray to have it, so God sends you an opportunity to live it. (Can I say that it's sort of like being thrown in a pool without knowing how to swim?) The fortunate part is that even though we miss one opportunity, God keeps sending more your way, and eventually you catch on that this is the way God is training you to do something (at least that's how it is with me, but I'm a "learn by doing" person. Hey, see how I threw that in there, Eric?!). Sometimes it's not pretty, sometimes you miss, but God keeps sending opportunities.

I hope she comes back next week like I asked. I'll find something I like or something as a gift, but I'll do my best not to miss it the next time it comes around.

Downsizing the Dream (Irresistible Revolution, Part 3)

2008-09-17T12:02:00.000-07:00

But we live in a world that has lost its appreciation for small things. We live in a world that wants things bigger and bigger. We want to supersize out fries, sodas, and church buildings (25).

I'm one of those people who falls into the "bigger is better" traps all the time. It's not healthy. I mean, think about it: you want your fries and your coke biggie size? Have you seen the amount of calories in that stuff? And locked in all those calories is the potential for weight gain, diabetes, heart disease, heart attack, stroke, etc. Physically, it's not healthy.

It's not healthy spiritually either. We can lose our perspective. Bigger churches can allow us to think that everyone lives like us. We spend all our money on building bigger buildings when we should really be using that money to help others. We think we need more space, when the better answer might be meeting together at different times, instead of all at the same time. Bigger things spoil us and make us think more highly of ourselves.

We live in a consumer culture with enough stuff gathering dust on our shelves (32).

I have stuff I don't use. About a year ago, I started cleaning out all this stuff. I think it started with magazines I'd been holding on to for one or two recipes. One day, I decided enough was enough and I cut the recipes out, put them all in one place, and recycled those magazines. Then I recycled old computer magazines that hadn't been looked at for a few years. After that it was toiletries and clothes, some of my son's old toys, and then I went through drawers and got rid of stuff in there.

I try not to think of all the money I spent on those things I was getting rid of. That's money that could have been saved for something obviously more important.

And that's the key: we have all these things we spend out money on, and most of them become stuff gathering dust on our shelves. I'm not against knick-knacks (completely) or books, but some of these things were made just to look pretty. That's their sole function. How do we have enough money to buy stuff that gathers dust, but no money to buy a homeless guy a meal?

So I would suggest we need a third way, neither the prosperity gospel nor the poverty gospel, but the gospel of abundance rooted in the theology of enough (172).

For those of you who don't know what the prosperity gospel is, it's the theory that God wants you to be rich. Some call it "name it and claim it" theology - tell God what you want and claim it in His name.

The prosperity gospel also has been called the "name it and claim it" theology. God wants His people to prosper, evangelists like [Joyce] Meyer maintain. Those who follow God and give generously to his ministries can have anything, and everything, they want.

Meyer spends most of her three-day conferences on lessons in giving, and she is blunt when she addresses what the critics say about her seed-faith interpretation of the Bible. She says that those preachers who believe that to be godly is to be poor are the ones who have it wrong.

"Why would He (God) want all of His people poverty stricken while all of the people that aren't living for God have everything?" Meyer said. "I think it's old religious thinking, and I believe the devil uses it to keep people from wanting to serve God."
Bill Smith and Carolyn Tuft,"The Prosperity Gospel." The St. Louis Post Dispatch, 9/18/03

I don't think God wants us any of us to live in poverty - nor do I think he wants everyone to be rich. I don't think he really wants anyone to be rich when there are hungry and homeless people in the world. It's quite obvious that He has allowed some of His followers to be rich. When God asked Solomon what he wanted, Solomon asked for wisdom. God gave him wisdom, but also made the young king rich beyond even our wildest dreams. But Solomon was the exception rather then the rule, and the Bible is full of people who had what they needed, but they certainly weren't rich.

The point that Claiborne is making is that we need balance. Jesus told us that when we pray we should ask for our daily bread; we should ask for the things we need, not the luxuries we want. God may provide much more than we need, or He may not.

After all, what's crazier: one person owning the same amount of money as the combined economies of twenty countries, or suggesting that if we shared, there would be enough for everyone (344)?

It's crazy to suggest we share. After all, that sounds like communism.

But sharing is better than waste. How many times have you spent money on groceries, only to have a loaf of bread or a head of cauliflower go bad? I have, and I'm ashamed. If I had planned ahead, I wouldn't have allowed that to happen.

This is why we need to share. We have an abundance of resources in America, and every day some of them go to waste because we have a surplus we don't know how to use. The surplus is there because we demand more and bigger, and we demand more and bigger because we've always had more than we need.

Is this really what it's all about? Is that really the American Dream?

We knew that the world cannot afford the American dream and that the Good News is that there is another dream (119).

Irresistible Revolution, Part 2

2008-09-17T07:35:00.000-07:00

We have to ask who the invisible people are. Who makes our clothes? Who picks our vegetables? And how are they treated? Growing up, I was told not to wear a t-shirt that advertised a band unless I agreed with what they stood for, but I was never told to do the same with companies I advertised inadvertently. What do they stand for? What gospel do they proclaim?
(Irresistible Revolution, 301)

The change of seasons brings about that incurable urge to shop for new clothes. Well, in most people it does. Personally, I usually despise clothes shopping (for myself), and only do it when I really need something. Even then, I wait.

I need a new pair of jeans. I only have two pairs. One pair fits like it was cut by a toddler, and the other pair I like but I'm not comfortable in them (they're a little too slim cut for my tastes). Since I can wear jeans to work, and because in a few weeks I'm going to have to put my beach-themed capris away until next spring, I need jeans.

But how do I buy clothes and become a better steward? Claiborne brings up a great point here about the invisible people of the world. We don't see how other people are treated in the fit or color of the clothes we buy, but our purchasing choices determine
which companies make money and reinforce how they treat their employees.

Sweatshops still exist all over the world. You've probably heard that Nike, Disney, and Gap (just to name a few) are some of the worst offenders for products made in sweatshops. But did you know sweatshops are in the US? Yeah, that's right, the good old "land of the free and the home of the brave". So even something that's made in America could be made in near-slavery conditions.

Shopping isn't simple, is it? While we want to cut down on what we buy, there are some things we simply have to have.

What about the people who harvest the vegetables and fruit we eat? Consider this article about Burger King:

Burger King Grants Raises to Pickers
By ANDREW MARTIN
Published: May 24, 2008

After a contentious battle that included allegations of spying, Burger King announced on Friday that it had reached an agreement to improve the wages and working conditions of tomato pickers in Florida.

At a news conference on Capitol Hill, the hamburger chain, based in Miami, said it would pay tomato prices adequate to give workers a wage increase of 1.5 cents a pound. A penny a pound will go into the workers’ pockets. The extra half-cent is intended to cover additional payroll taxes and administrative costs for tomato growers.

The 1-cent increase means that for every 32-pound bucket of tomatoes they pick, the workers will earn 77 cents, instead of 45 cents. That is a 71 percent increase, the first substantial one in decades for the workers. At the old wage, a farm workers’ group said, the pickers typically earned $10,000 to $12,000 a year.

“If the Florida tomato industry is to be sustainable long term, it must become more socially responsible,” said Amy Wagner, a senior vice president at Burger King. She estimated that the wage boost would cost Burger King about $300,000 a year.

In a statement, Burger King’s chief executive, John W. Chidsey, said he was sorry for previous negative remarks directed toward an activist group that has fought on behalf of the pickers, the Coalition for Immokalee Workers. Immokalee is a town in southwest Florida where many of the farm workers live in decrepit shacks and trailers.

Mr. Chidsey praised the workers’ organization as “being on the forefront of efforts to improve farm labor conditions, exposing abuses and driving socially responsible purchasing and work practices in the Florida tomato fields.”

McDonalds and Yum Brands, the parent of Taco Bell, had already agreed to similar deals. But it remained unclear on Friday if workers would receive the pay increase, because Florida tomato growers had resisted it.

The Florida Tomato Growers Exchange, which represents 90 percent of the state’s tomato growers, told The News-Press in Fort Myers, Fla., on Thursday that it was withdrawing its threat of imposing $100,000 fines on members who provided a penny-a-pound pay raise.

Reggie Brown, the exchange’s executive vice president, told the Florida newspaper that he remained troubled by legal questions prompted by the raise and was advising members not to participate.

Mr. Brown could not be located for comment on Friday.

The announcement was hailed by some members of Congress and by farm workers’ organizations, who had waged a vigorous campaign that included petition drives and Congressional hearings.

Senator Bernard Sanders, an Independent of Vermont, said the working conditions of the tomato pickers were a “national and international embarrassment,” and he praised Burger King for agreeing to raise wages.

“We all know that this has been a long and hard road for Burger King,” he said.

Lucas Benitez, of the Coalition for Immokalee Workers, said he was thankful that Burger King agreed to the wage increase, and he said his group would now set its sights on other restaurant chains and grocery retailers who continue to pay wages his group regards as substandard.

Noting that some of those companies market themselves as being socially responsible, Mr. Benitez, co-founder of the farm workers’ group, said, “It is time for those companies to live out the true meaning of their marketers’ words.

Friday’s announcement was a sharp departure for Burger King, which had vigorously fought increasing its tomato costs. Burger King acknowledged, for instance, that it had hired a private security firm to obtain information about student and farm worker organizations that were demanding price increases. The company has since severed its ties to the security firm.

I'm glad Burger King increased it wages to their workers, but what about other companies. Who do we support when we spend our money, and what does that say about what we believe?

In my Environmental Ethics class, we've been talking about Is vs. Ought. I am a staunch pessimist and talk a lot about what ought to be. The land of what is pisses me off, but we can't ignore it. I think stewardship encompasses a lot of this Is vs. Ought dilemma, in that in moving towards better stewardship, we move from what is to what ought to be - for example, moving from being huge consumers to being moderate consumers.

I stand for what ought to be - a world where people are treated like humans instead of 3/5 of a man. In order to encourage that change, I need to use my purchasing power to support those companies that already have that ethic.

What can you do? What do you stand for?

The aftermath of Ike

2008-09-15T07:56:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, this past weekend a little thing called Hurricane Ike blew through Galveston Island and Houston, Texas. If you're in the Midwest like me, you caught the tail end of Ike in the form a very wet Sunday.

I feel bad for the people in Texas who got caught in this and I hope they are able to recover and rebuild. I know there were some people who refused to leave the island, and to be honest, I find it a little more difficult to be compassionate towards them because they were not only able to leave the island, they were mandated to leave it. And honestly, didn't they learn anything from Katrina?

Consider this: while some people in Texas chose not to leave their homes, the people of Haiti, hit by 4 storms in the past month, weren't able to leave.

Relief Operations Under Way In Devastated Haiti

Jason Beaubien/NPR

All Things Considered, September 12, 2008 · Relief operations continue in Haiti for the hundreds of thousands of people affected by two tropical storms and two hurricanes in the last month. Tens of thousands of homes were destroyed and large parts of Haiti remain cut off from the rest of the country.

The international relief operation is focusing on the northern port city of Gonaives, which flooded twice in one week, but many other parts of Haiti are still reeling from this year's hurricane season.

In the Grand Ravine neighborhood of Port-au-Prince, 700 people are living in a school where there is no running water, no electricity, no beds and often no food. People have been packed in here for weeks.

Luita Armand has been sleeping on the cement floor here since late August.

"The only thing we want is for them to rebuild our house," Armand says. "Here it's a school. We can't stay here for a long time. We have to go home. Before we go home, it's very important that the government help us rebuild our house."

Armand fled to the school with her five children just before Hurricane Gustav made landfall on Aug. 26.

Distribution Difficult

One floor below where she sleeps, 122 children are packed into a single classroom waiting for cookies and juice. Unfortunately the cardboard box that's supposed to have the cookies actually contains bottles of bleach, so the kids get grape soda and Saltines.

Evel Fanfan, with a human rights group in Port-au-Prince, is passing out the meager snacks. He says what he needs now is for the government to establish some order in this chaotic encampment so he can distribute more substantive food.

"Some policemen, some people who can help provide security," Fanfan says. "Right now I'd like to get some rice to the kids. But I can't do that. I'm scared the old people just get it."

It's not just these 700 people in this school or the flooded residents of Gonaives who have been hit hard this hurricane season. All across the country — from Les Cayes in the south to Jacmel in the southeast to Cap-Haitien in the north — there are people who lost everything to the storms.

In the parking lot of the main offices of Catholic Relief Services, several dozen people are packing food into large plastic bags.

"We got rice, bread, peanut butter, beans," says Bill Canny, the country representative for Catholic Relief Services. "So it's a packet to sustain a family of five for 15 days. We have trouble getting these to Gonaives — the roads have been closed. But there are plenty of places affected and we are getting it to other parts of the country that are equally suffering from the effects of the hurricanes."

Haiti was hit by Tropical Storm Fay on Aug. 18, and then came Hurricane Gustav, Tropical Storm Hanna and Hurricane Ike.

Catholic Relief Services first came to Haiti in response to Hurricane Hazel in 1954. It has grown into one of the largest aid agencies in the country.

Infrastructure And Agriculture Disruptions

Canny says this storm season has been a huge setback for farmers here.

"When the water drops a bit more, we'll be better able to do an assessment, but you can count on a very significant crop loss this year," he says.

Haiti is already heavily dependent on food imports — more than half of Haiti's food comes from abroad. Rising global food prices earlier this year sparked riots in the country and led to the prime minister's ouster.

With the crop losses from these most recent storms, Haiti will have little choice but to remain heavily dependent on food imports for at least another year.

The storms also have delayed the opening of schools by a month. Roads, bridges and other infrastructure have been wiped out. A newly refurbished hospital in Gonaives that was destroyed in 2004 by Hurricane Jean was demolished again this month by Hanna.

"It's not often that a country can be hit by four tropical storms successively," says Abel Nazier, the deputy coordinator for Recent Disaster Management at the Haitian Interior Ministry.

Many Haitians complain that the government did not do enough to prepare for the storms, did not warn people to evacuate, was not able to rescue people who were trapped and now has no plan to get people back home.

Nazier denies all this. He says the death toll, especially in Gonaives, would have been much higher had the government not issued warnings right before Hanna hit.

"We don't have enough possibility in terms of resources — economical resources," he says. "But we have a good national system for recent disaster management."

Nazier says the government does have a plan for getting people back in to their homes, but he says that part of the response won't begin for another six months. Right now, he says, the government is focused on providing emergency relief such as water and food to the thousands and thousands of Haitians who lost their homes in the storms.

The whole point of this blog is not only to write (and rant) about my thoughts on stewardship, but to encourage those of you reading this to be better stewards. Right now I want to encourage you to send money to a relief organization that will be helping the people of Haiti recover and rebuild. These poor people had it hard enough before these four storms, and this will only increase their food shortages and poverty.

Where you can help (links go straight to donation pages):

Doctors without Borders

The Greater Good (on the Hunger Site)

World Vision

Please think about what you can do to help. Right now, Haiti and her people need the world's compassion. And if your heart isn't led to help Haiti, then maybe there's another place in the world that you are led to help. Doctors without Borders and World Vision both help countries around the world, so maybe you can help in another place.

Spiritual Gifts

2008-09-08T14:03:00.000-07:00

4There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 6There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.

7Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,[a] and to still another the interpretation of tongues.[b] 11All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.

27Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 28And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues.
(1 Corinthians 12:4-11, 27-28)

10He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) 11It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers...
(Ephesians 4:10-11)

6We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his[b]faith. 7If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.
(Romans 12:6-8)

I've already talked a little about spiritual gifts in a previous post, but since this is another aspect of stewardship that I'm studying, I thought it would be beneficial to post something about it right now.

My own definition of spiritual gifts are those gifts given by God through the Holy Spirit which enable Christians to minister to and serve others. Another definition I came across said almost the same thing: "...a spiritual gift is a God-given ability to serve the church effectively" (Fred G. Zaspel).

It's important to know that these are the three main sources of Scripture when discussing spiritual gifts, but other authors (if you'll allow me to call myself that for a minute) include other possible gifts. The gifts listed here are:

wisdom
knowledge
faith
healing
miracles
prophecy
discernment
speaking in tongues
interpretation of tongues
apostleship
teaching
helps
administration
evangelism
serving
shepherding (pastors)
encouragement
giving
leadership
mercy

You might be looking at this list and thinking, "Um, isn't every Christian supposed to have that gift?" In the case of faith, helps, evangelism, serving, encouragement, and mercy, then yes, I think every Christian probably has those qualities to a certain extent. However, it's probably a spiritual gift if it's more defined than just your run of the mill quality. For example, in Matthew 28:19, Jesus tells the disciples to "go and make disciples of all nations." Most Christians would say that command is for every believer, not just the original 12 disciples. So while all believers are commanded to share and spread their faith, some are given the gift of evangelism, the gift to spread the gospel on a scale that others don't have. Here's a hint: it's the difference between me and Billy Graham (and I'm not an evangelist). Another example: in the Old Testament, God commanded the tithe, and I personally believe that all Christians should tithe as well, though the New Testament seems more concerned about giving willingly and with the right attitude than a set number. So while we're all called to give money to the Church (or charity or whatever serves the Kingdom of God), some people have this gift of giving that allows them to give more than that on a continual basis, and that giving is one way they minister to others. That's one of my gifts. (I'm not working in full capacity yet, but I'm trusting that the vision God has given me of my future will make that happen fully)

My personal theory when it comes to any of these types of stewardship is that if every single member of the Body of Christ did her or his part, not only would the Church be healthier and run more efficiently without all the drama, the world would be a better place. Here's the reality: 20% of the people in the church do 80% of the work. That's not the way God intended for the Church to work. Paul continues the letter to the Corinthians:

12The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. 13For we were all baptized by[c] one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.

14Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. 15If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 16And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 17If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

21The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" 22On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

Paul's message is clear: the parts of the body remain parts of the body, even if they say they aren't anymore. The same is true for the Body of Christ. Just because you decide, as a part of that Body, to not do your job or serve your function doesn't mean you aren't a part of the Body anymore. What it really means is that your lack of function is making the rest of the Body sick. The little toe, as small and unworthy as it seems, provides balance to the human body. The little toes in the Body of Christ all have a function too.

But here's a thought - I have a feeling that it's not the "little toes" in the Church that aren't doing their jobs. Little toes are humble creatures and true servants. They do their job without complaint. Even when you break them, they might cry out in pain, but they don't even require a splint to be repaired, other than a humble fourth toe, who props them up in sympathy and helps them heal. No, it's not the "little toes" in the Body that we need to worry about, because they're in that hardworking 20%. We really need to worry about the hair. Seriously. Hair is pretty. It keeps you warm, and sometimes even gives you the warms fuzzies. But you never know how it's going to act from day to day, and it can be really unreliable. Hair comes in many different personalities and colors, and some days it jut screams, "I am NOT a part of this body!"

Lest you think I'm being silly in this illustration, think about it hard. You know someone in the church who is unreliable, who refuses to just do her job for no real reason, someone who just screams that they want nothing to do with what the church is doing some days.

And there are all the body parts in between: the hands that type one day and play video games the next, the stomach that starves one day and is a glutton on another.

It's hard to be a member of the Church, but that doesn't mean we cut ourselves off from the body when it gets too painful. We can't (I know this from experience). Instead, we have to dig in harder and use the gifts God has given us. And really, what you find when you try not to use your gifts is that you can't not use them; they are as much a part of you as your personality, and they flow in, through, and out of you as much as the Holy Spirit does. You'll find yourself teaching a child a Bible verse, or helping an elderly neighbor clean her house. Maybe you take on a volunteer management position at a local charity, or help someone figure out what God wants them to do in a particular situation. You might want to avoid using your gifts, but you just can't.

Time

2008-09-08T08:34:00.000-07:00

2 By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested [a] from all his work. 3 And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.
(Genesis 2:2)

I'm exhausted.

I had a great weekend, and unlike most weekends, I got quite a bit accomplished. But I worked hard and didn't just sit around and read for awhile between cleaning and homework.

Here's a little secret about me: I'm lazy and I procrastinate. I'm trying to change both of those aspects of my personality, but I have 34 years of habit working against me. Some of this has improved just because I'm a mom and have been in school four of the last five years. It's absolutely necessary for me to stick to some sort of schedule to get anything done, and if it HAS to be done, it gets done. If it doesn't, it falls by the wayside. But as I said, I'm trying to change that for a few different reasons. And this weekend was a huge accomplishment on that front.

Last night when I put our son to bed, I knew I was tired, but I didn't know how exhausted I was until, in a fit of silliness, he headbutted me in the chin, slamming my teeth into my bottom lip. It hurt and I cried. But I kept crying, and it was like this well of despair had been opened up and let loose. I didn't know why I felt that way, and it took a lot of self-control to get calmed down, because all I wanted to do was sit there and cry. There was no reason for that quick change in attitude, because I was in a perfectly good mood two minutes before that little accident.

A few hours later, the answer came to me: I was bloody exhausted. What I really needed was another day off so I could sit and relax for a while.

A few months ago, my small group agreed that we would take six hours sometime during the week to observe the Sabbath, but it was difficult for most of us to commit to that challenge. After this weekend, I understand the need for the Sabbath better than I think I ever have before, but the idea of taking a whole day to rest seems like a waste of time.

In this independent study, I'm looking at all the ways we could possibly be good stewards, and one of those ways is being a steward of time. After all, time is a resource, and unlike other resources, if we don't use the time we have, it disappears. We can't save time, in a literal sense, like we would save money or food. When each moment is gone, it's gone forever. Yes, there will be other moments to use - until there are no more moments to use.

How do you use your time? I've already mentioned that I'm a procrastinator, which means I put things off to the last minute (see? Time.). And lazy, which means I don't always use my time (time!) wisely. How else is your time divided? Mine is divided into work, not-work, and sleep. All of these are necessary components to a healthy life. But how much of each of these do we need? If you're like me and work full time outside the home, you spend at least 7.5 hours at a job five days a week. Like my husband, some of you work weird shifts or maybe two (or more) jobs, so you still work about 40 hours each week. Some of you work a part-time job, but you're in school full time. And some of you are stay at home moms who work your ever-loving butts off in your own house (and I salute you - you should be paid. Seriously!). Then when you aren't working at your job, you are either working or not-working - there are errands to run, kids to cart from place to place, houses to clean, etc. These are all necessary too, but they eat up any free time you might have to rest and relax. Sleep is essential, but so is rest. Very few of you would argue with the first part of the last sentence, but many of you would argue against the last part. I don't know what it's like in other countries, but here in the US we have what might be referred to as a Puritan Work Ethic. Loosely translated, it means "work your ass off, don't take a break, and look down on anyone who does." Sound familiar? Also from the Puritan Work Ethic comes this little ditty: "Idle hands are the Devil's playground."

God worked those first six days of creation, then designated the seventh day as the day of rest. Genesis doesn't say what He did that seventh day, only that He rested from His work of creating. I doubt God's hands were the Devil's playground, and I doubt anyone would look down on Him because He took a much needed break. So if we are created in His image, and He commands us to take a day to rest, why do we look down on people who actually do that? Are we better than God in that we don't need a day to rest?

I don't know about you, but I need to learn to be a better steward of my time. I need to learn not just to be more productive, but how to rest, and do so without guilt. And in a culture that defines us by what we do instead of who we are, that's a scary idea to ponder.

How much is too much?

2008-09-02T13:53:00.001-07:00

13Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard pressed, but that there might be equality. 14At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. Then there will be equality, 15as it is written: "He who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little."
(2 Corinthians 8:13-15)

Right now I'm supposed to be reading stuff for this project. I started to, I did; however, the next chapter in the book I'm currently reading started off with these three verses, and it struck me so much I wanted to write about it NOW.

In the years I've had to think about stewardship - at least that of the financial variety - I've wondered if there's ever a point at which someone could give too much. Obviously, that point is when giving becomes a financial hardship on you and your family, but I don't know many people like that. Quite often, Believers don't give enough money, either to the Church, the poor, or the hungry.

This desire to understand the fine line comes out of trying to reconcile what I see in others and myself and not being able to do so. I have pastor friends who drive expensive cars and live in expensive houses. I have Christian friends who are staunch advocates of the prosperity gospel. In my own life, I like things - on a message board I frequent, I'm the self-professed shower gel Queen, and as a group we talk about makeup and shopping. I'm not a clothes horse or a shoe afficianado, but I like things that smell good.

In the past, I've tried to defend the pastors (not the prosperity gospel proponents though, that just makes me want to rant at the person advocating it - personally, I don't think God CARES if you're rich!) who drive nice cars and live in nice homes. Most of them tithe to their church, give to special offerings in their church, and also help those in their communities who are in need. If they do all these things, then what harm is it if one of them decides to drive a Lexus or a Mercedes? And after all, as a member of that church (in several cases), I gave my own tithe to that church knowing that part of it would be going to support the pastors and staff.

Of course, I was helping to rationalize my own consumer-driven behavior as well, because I liked to horde shower gels and shampoo (OK, I still have that tendency, but I'm getting better). But then a time came when I couldn't even afford to tithe, much less horde personal care items, and I became resentful that not one of those pastors (who knew we could barely afford groceries) asked if they could help us out. Not one.

Circumstances tend to change perspectives, don't they?

As I've tried to move into a "total steward" mindset, I've tried to correct my drive and desire to be the consumer that the world wants me to be, which has supported the resentment I feel towards those who have plenty and can't even help their friends. On an environmental note, everyone can recite the three R's: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. As consumers, we're really caught up in Recycle mode, but forget that the true key to being environmentally friendly is Reduction and Re-use. Reduction is, in my opinion, the key to being a better total steward. When you spend less money on stuff, you have more money to take care of your family and those in need.

And now I need to let you in on a not-well-kept secret about me: I feel guilty about everything. So now that I've adopted more of the "consume less" mindset, I feel guilty buying anything. Let's take my shower gel obsession for example. Five years ago, when I had a full time job, no child, and some expendable income, I tithed, paid my bills, then shopped. I liked to buy shower gels that you can't get just anywhere, so I bought stuff from Nordstrom and Sephora to support my obsession. Two years ago, when I was broke, working part time, and now paying for child care, I bought one shower gel for $3.50 and used it until I ran out. I was quite happy with it actually. But this is also about the time I was becoming more environmentally friendly, and this shower gel is full of chemicals and surfactants that can't even spell "biodegradable." So when I started this full time job last year and finally had more fun money, I switched to shower gels that you can't buy just anywhere AND were environmentally friendly! Yippee! They're also expensive! BOO!

Where do you draw the line? In my effort to be a better all around steward, I have to balance economics and the environment (and after last semester's environmental economics class, I never thought I'd utter those two words in the same sentence again - hush, Eric!). There's a reason cheap shower gel is cheap: it uses lots of chemicals and detergents that are harmful to the planet. But when you want and need to be better about controlling your finances, it sometimes seems like you don't have a choice.

This leads to my guilt problem. If I do better about my finances, I feel bad about endangering the environment. If I buy items that are better for the environment, I feel like I haven't been a good steward of my money. Do you see the problem? Do you see how I (or anyone) could go round and round for eternity and never really solve the problem?

For this year's Earth Day, we had a a guest speaker at school who commented on this. She explained that our job was to do what we could. Some people are willing to really change their lives by moving to the country and living off grid, but for the rest of us, all that's necessary is to do what we feel we can do. For some people, that means eating a vegetarian or vegan diet, while others might switch to organic and sustainably grown meat and produce. Some people might try to reduce their use of electricity while others switch to cleaners that are ecofriendly. The point is that you can only do what you feel you need to do, and you don't have to do everything. Your life should be enjoyable, and you should take pleasure in the good you're doing. It's hard to do that when the good you're doing becomes a burden.

And with that, I move to the Scripture posted above. I firmly believe in a God who wants to have fun, and created us to experience joy, happiness, pleasure, and fulfillment, but I don't often internalize that belief. But here's what 2 Cor. 8:13 says: Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard pressed, but that there might be equality. So God doesn't want us to sacrifice for the good of others if it becomes a burden to us. This is freeing for me, and it should be freeing for all of you who have a desire to be better stewards. In the previous verses, Paul praises the Corinthians for being willing and excited givers, and encourages them in that continued state. Here, I think Paul is trying to tell them that they don't have to give so hard that they bleed. If the measure of stewardship is equality, then maybe it really is alright to have some nice things for yourself if you've helped take care of someone else first. God doesn't expect any one person to do everything to save the world, but he expects all of us to do our part. And I think that leaves room for me not to feel guilty when I want to buy my ecofriendly $30 shower gels (only one or two, because while I need to be clean, I do not need to overconsume), and it leaves room for you to not feel guilty when you've helped feed the family down the street and then want to buy a bag of cheetos for yourself.

The Irrisistible Revolution, Part 1

2008-09-01T13:53:00.000-07:00

Over and over, when I ask God why all these injustices are allowed to exist in the world, I can feel the Spirit whisper to me, "You tell me why we allow this to happen. You are my body, my hands, my feet."
Shane Claiborne, The Irresistible Revolution

Stewardship:
2: the conducting, supervising, or managing of something; especially : the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one's care.
(Merriam-Webster Online)

Shane Claiborne lives in an intentional community in Philadelphia called The Simple Way, and The Irresistible Revolution is his expression of what it means to be a faithful steward.

I picked the above quote to start off this blogging experience because it "defines" stewardship so well. You are my body, my hands, my feet. In those few words, we hear the call of God on our lives, as followers of Christ, to live out our faith instead of just believing it.

1. When Paul talks about spiritual gifts, he begins with the illustration of a body divided into many parts:

The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. 13For we were all baptized by[c] one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.

14Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. 15If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 16And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 17If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
(1 Corinthians 12:12-20)

Paul explains that spiritual gifts are like this, in that we all have a function in the Kingdom of God, and just because you're a little toe doesn't mean you don't. In other words, you might have a gift that you don't care for, or you might think it's insignificant. First, there are no insignificant spiritual gifts, except for the one that is done without love (see 1 Corinthians 13:1). Spiritual gifts (charisms or charismata) are given to believers by God to do His work here on earth. Second - if you don't like the charismata you've been given, get over it or pray for another gift. I'm not saying God's going to take it away and exchange it for a new one, but it doesn't hurt to ask. But God gave you that gift for a reason, so the prudent thing would be to look for that reason.

2. As God's Body, hands, and feet, we are the ones entrusted to care for His Creation. Sometimes bad things happen because shit happens, but more often, it's because people suck and don't do the right thing. If we who believe in Jesus don't do something to correct these problems, we have to answer for our poor stewardship. Why am I tired and grumpy? Because I worked when I should have been resting. (Hey, God rested too) Why is my next-door neighbor eating so little? Because I didn't buy her some groceries so she and her kids could eat. Why didn't that small group in my church get started? Because I didn't want to use my gift of teaching to teach the interested people.

We allow bad things to happen because we are horrible stewards. God has given us responsibilities, and we don't take them - or Him - seriously.

Tithing

2008-08-21T13:54:00.000-07:00

Before I post anything about what I'm reading (posts to follow very soon), I want to talk about my own experience with tithing.

For the longest time, I didn't tithe. Then about... hmmm... six or so years ago when I worked at the bank, I started tithing. I did so until my son was born in 2004 and I went part time at the bank.

For those few years when I tithed, I was proud of myself for doing so. The first few times were torturous. It wasn't that I didn't want to do it, because I did. The problem was that that left me with less disposable income to do what I wanted. But after a few months, writing that check to the church we attended at the time just became the way I did things. I wrote that check first, then paid all my bills.

I noticed over time that I worried less about money than I used to, and my attitude towards money had changed somewhat. Those are good things. I knew that by tithing, God would take care of me. Now let me explain that a bit. I wasn't expecting a tit for tat type thing - in other words, I tithe to get God to take care of me, or that God taking care of me was my reward for tithing. It was more of an attitude that I was doing the right thing and I had more assurance that God would take care of my needs, because He said He would, no matter what. The bad thing is that I was kind of cocky about it. I didn't talk about tithing very often, but when I did, I was full of myself.

After our son was born, I wanted to stay home with him full time, but that wasn't financially possible. Since I was also going to school to get my bachelor's degree, we decided that I would stay home part time and work part time. This would allow me to take some day classes that I wouldn't be able to take otherwise, and allowed us to spend less on daycare for our son. While this decision wasn't so bad while I was in school (and living on student loans), after graduation the situation was absolutely crippling financially. I hated my job, I was getting paid less then $10/hr, I was working part time, and the bank I worked for wouldn't let me go back to full time hours. I looked and looked for a job, but even with the degree I earned, there weren't very many options in this city. The longer I worked for the bank, the farther and farther behind we got in our finances. I wasn't able to pay but about half my bills and we really had nothing we could cut. I look back on that time - and it was only a year ago - and wonder how I fed my family. I'm not sure, except through the grace of God.

Needless to say, I quit tithing pretty soon after my son was born. I couldn't afford it. How could I justify giving the church 10% of my income, which could be better used buying groceries or diapers?

I felt bad about that at first, and as our finances got worse and worse, I felt more and more guilty about it, in that "well, maybe if I were tithing, the rest of this money would (magically) mercifully stretch out so that I could pay all my bills."

After I got the job I have now (which is back to full time hours), I tithed again for the first few months to the church Jeff worked at. Once again, the first few checks were hard to write, but I knew I was doing the right thing.

Then that church decided they no longer needed my husband's services, so I quit tithing again. I could have sent that money to the church where we're members (not the church he worked at), or I could have given it to the church where he was no longer employed. Forgive me for sounding bitter here, but I have a difficult time giving money to the congregation that fired my husband, and while he was employed there barely paid him a living wage (knowing that we were struggling to make ends meet) in spite of the fact that he has a master's degree, and only paid for my husband's health insurance (when he had a wife and small child to consider as well).

As I've approached this independent study, tithing has been on my mind more than any other aspect of stewardship, I think because it's what I feel guilty about. I'm not the best manager of my time, but I'm making more of an effort. I'm not really using my spiritual gifts at the moment, and haven't since I've been in school, but I think I'm where God wants me and learning all these things so that in a few years, I can go out in the world and use my gifts to do a job. I've become a better environmental steward over the past 18 months. The easiest thing for me to do is write check to a church - it takes SO little effort! - but it's still the most torturous thing I can do. So I've felt guilty about it and allowed it to weigh heavily on me.

I want to be a good steward. I want to do the best I can in all of these ways. My spirit knows it's not my money (because it all belongs to God anyway), but my head screams at me to save it, or spend it on myself, or spend it on Liam, or give it to Jeff to pay bills. I wonder if other people have this sort of fight in themselves?

But there is another part of the issue. We no longer go to church. We've been back to the church Jeff worked at (invited) and we've been back to church we're members at, and we're not comfortable in either place. I don't really have the heart or the patience to church shop right now, and frankly, I think I need a longer break than this. Here's the problem: I've always been taught that your tithe goes to your church. So where do I send this money?

I no longer believe that the tithe should always go to the church. I have a problem with paying pastors a huge salary and watching other church employees scrape by (yes, I'm bitter) while pastors drive nice cars. I have a real problem with churches thinking they need to build bigger buildings, have better facilities, and help fund the youth mission trip when there are people in this city who don't have homes or food.

Instead of funding the pastor's new car, I want to give my money to someone who needs it. I'm alright with that now, but it's taken me a few months to get to the point. A few months ago, I gave money to one of the homeless shelters in town, but now I'm thinking even smaller; after all, I live next door to a single mother of three who lives on disability and is one of the nicest people I know (she's always offering to walk our dogs - they growl at her and she loves them anyway). She doesn't own a car and relies on her friends to get her to the grocery store. I also have a friend in northern IL whose son is very sick and can't get disability (because the stupid state doesn't have a classification for his very rare disease, they won't sign off his paperwork). Nor does he have insurance. She also doesn't have a car, and they live in her little apartment on her disability income.

So why haven't I written my check yet?

As I said, the first check in torturous. But this is what I want to do, and this is what I need to work on. I can't teach people to be better stewards of their money if I'm not a good steward myself.

Welcome Back!

2008-08-08T12:47:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to One Writer's World! Yes, it's been over two years since I've posted here, but I'll be starting my second year of grad school this fall, and with it, another independent study. Since this blog served me so well for my writer-in-residence blog, I'm opening it up again for my stewardship blog.

I debated posting stuff here. On the one hand, this is a blog for a writer (which I still am), not someone who'll be studying stewardship. OTOH, I want flood to be dedicated to environmental stewardship and faith, so I decided that this would be the spot for it. After all, one of my goals is to write about what I'm learning in a short manuscript, based on my reflections here. So yeah, if I'm gonna be writing anyway...

Right now, I'm reading Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne. Jeff may never get this book back. I may have to buy him another copy. I'm this close to making notes in the book. I'm a former English major; we don't take that sort of thing lightly. That's how good this book is. And that's where the discussion of stewardship will start.

Welcome back to the rollercoaster ride!

The Public Reading

2006-04-28T22:20:00.000-07:00

Time Spent: 5 hours, 20 minutes.
AST Time Complete: 161 hours, 27 minutes.

I was nervous when I woke up today. I'm not a very good public speaker, and I was afraid I'd trip over my own tongue several times tonight. This prompted another 'read and time' session of everything this afternoon, then I left for campus.

At 4:30, Joanna, David Logan (My creative writing two instructor from last spring), and I set up the gallery, and then I started pacing.

Finally, we started. I only tripped over my tongue a few times. I read well, everyone was very gracious, and I had a WONDERFUL time.

If you're reading this and you were there tonight, thank you for coming. Thank you for joining me in the final part of this journey and for being part of an awesome audience.

To the Dean's Office, the English Department, and the Visual Arts Gallery: Thank you for hosting tonight's event. I appreciate everything anyone in any of these departments did to help.

Thank you, David, for dinner and working the camera. Thank you also for being so encouraging tonight.

Dr. Cordell, I'm sorry you weren't able to be there, but I hope your sister did a FANTASTIC job at her reading. Thank you for being my UIS supervisor - I really appreciate it.

Joanna - as I said tonight, thank you for treating me like an equal and a friend. I'm SO grateful to you for agreeing to be my Field Supervisor and for everything you've done so this could happen tonight. Thank you for your kind words, every bit of encouragement, and for every phone call and email. Thank you for putting tonight together, making the programs and flyers, and just being generally awesome.

This is it. I'm finished with the AST. I've learned how to revise, what I need to do to submit and get published, and most importantly, I've learned I'm an author.

If you weren't there tonight, it was video taped, and I think it will be digitized and made into a podcast. If it is, I'll be sure to let you know, in case you want to listen to it.

This was a lot of fun.

Journey is FINISHED!

2006-04-27T22:30:00.000-07:00

Time Spent: 2 hours, 27 minutes.

That's right, "Journey" is completely finished, and I submitted it today to Glimmer Train Stories. Apparently, the sixth (or was it seventh?) draft is the lucky one.

I also did more revisions for tomorrow night, making the final decision on what I'm reading and revising what I'm talking about in between.

Tomorrow is the public reading. I'm meeting Joanna out at the Visual Arts Gallery at 4:30 to set up, and it starts at 7. I'm excited, I'm nervous - I can't believe it's going to be over.

Public reading Countdown: 1 day.

Revisions of a different nature

2006-04-26T20:40:00.000-07:00

Time Spent: 4 hours, 10 minutes.

OK, so I revised today, but not "Journey." But I HAVE to to the final revision tomorrow, because the submission needs to be made by Friday. I revised the stuff I'm going to talk about Friday night at the reading.

I also kicked the testosterone twins (Hubby and son) out of the house for a few hours so I could do a practice read through of my stuff. I read every story twice in preparation, and if hubby will let me, I'm gonna kick the two of them out again tomorrow afternoon. Man, it was nice and quiet... I've learned over the years why it's good to actually do the verbal prep - I get so nervous I ramble. The problem, and this goes back to the first paragraph, is that I sound like I've written an essay with my in between stories stuff. It doesn't sound like it should be spoken; it sounds like it should be read. Does that make sense?

I also submitted the fourth story, "when life hands you lemons," to Toasted Cheese. I TRIED to get everything ready to submit the fifth story to a journal, but they haven't sent me the password yet, so I can't sign on and submit.

I didn't mention this yesterday, but I got a rejection from literary mama for "Show You Love." I'm disappointed. I think I'm going to submit it to antithesis common though - they give feedback. So maybe they'll like it and use it, and if not, I'll get some handy dandy suggestions out of them.

Public reading Countdown: 2 days.
6 hours, 20 minutes left to completion of AST.

Journey will never be finished....

2006-04-25T20:35:00.000-07:00

Time Spent: 2 hours.

I did some things for the public reading, important things like writing thank you notes to the people who helped me with the AST.

But mostly, I revised "journey." Freakin' draft SIX, people!!!!! This story is NEVER going to be finished. But I REALLY think this is it. And if it's not, it'll just have to do cuz that puppy has to get submitted.

I don't know what I learned today. I'm certainly honing my revising skills.

Catch up and small things

2006-04-24T22:30:00.000-07:00

Time Spent: 4 hours.

This is going to be quick -I'm exhausted.

I did some small things that needed doing today. I talked to Joanna about what I needed to do for the reading - not a small thing and very necessary, but it didn't take emuch time and made me feel better about Friday night.

I didn't do any revising today. Instead, I took a revising break and worked on the first draft of what I'm going to say during the reading that's NOT reading the stories - like introductions, thank you's to everyone who helped, what I'm reading and why I like writing it, especially if it's flash fiction.

Probably most important, I added up my AST project hours. As of this blog, I've earned 147.5 hours, which leaves 13.5 hours to go until I'm done with my hours. My plan for this week is to finish my hours by Friday, then whatever I do on Friday to get ready for/do the reading is all bonus.

I think this week is going to be about application of what I've learned. While I might surprise myself and learn something new, I think mainly what I'll be doing is putting what I learned to good use, which is OK. As I said, I learn by doing, and this is still doing.

Public Reading Countdown: 4 days.

More Revisions (I'm so tired of revisions...)

2006-04-23T20:31:00.000-07:00

Time Spent: 2 hours.

Ah, yes, more revisions. I've been ignoring "Journey" for a few days because it just needs to SIT! I've been trying to decide what I'm going to read on Friday, so I've printed out some flash fiction and I'm revising it. Two of the stories are done and are ready to be submitted. Another one, which I wrote on my own time last spring, should be revised in short order. I didn't transfer the file to the laptop though, and so I just rewrote it including revisions. This is one of the reasons I love flash fiction - if all else fails, you can retype it and you've wasted ten minutes, tops. And it's never really a waste!

If it seems like I'm not really learning a lot with all this revising I'm doing, that's misleading. Learning to revise is one wild ride. I certainly haven't mastered it yet, and truthfully, I think it's more like playing the piano than learning math. With math, you practice and practice, and you get it learned and it's done. Math teachers don't usually take more math classes. Piano, on the other hand, you learn and you practice and you learn under the masters. But you know what? Even the masters still take piano lessons and do recitals. That's what revising is. Even though you know what to do, you still have to practice and practice, and even when you teach others how to revise, you still have to keep practicing yourself.

And I'm a learn by doing person anyway. I'm not sure I ever really answered that for the AST learning profiles as the beginning of the semester, but I definitely learn by doing.

Public reading Countdown: 5 days.

Revising "Journey" AGAIN...

2006-04-21T22:26:00.000-07:00

Time Spent: 3 hours.

OMGosh, just shoot me now. I spent my time revising - mostly "journey," but a few other things too. I'll be moving on to draft six of "journey." I keep seeing stuff that I want to change. I'm learning the fine art of tinkering.

Also began revising some of the shorter stories I want to submit. All three are flash fiction and have been revised a few times, so they won't need much revision. No seriously, I MEAN it this time. The flash will be easy.

I also spent some time thinking about what I need to do to get ready for the public reading, and I think I might be overwhelmed. I have my handy-dandy list, so I need to follow it and take it one moment at a time. And if you're keeping track of hours, you can see I'm behind. Well, at least this will give me my time I need to make up this coming week.

Public Reading countdown: 7 days.

Final revision of "show you love"

2006-04-20T22:00:00.000-07:00

Time Spent: 5 hours.

Yes, that's right. I did the final revision for "Show You Love" today. It's finished, it's done, it's been sent off. I submitted it to Literary Mama this afternoon, a website that is for, well... literary mamas. Moms who write, specifically moms who write about motherhood. That's what "Show You Love"is about - one woman's struggle with an emotionally difficult pregnancy and how the birth of her son changes her. And yes, it was inspired by my own pregnancy. Easy as it was physically, it was extremely difficult for me emotionally, to the point where I SHOULD have been on anti-depressants. No post partum depression for me, I got it all out of my system the moment Liam was born.

So that's three submissions. Three down, three to go.

I started working on the fifth draft of "Journey" today as well. Didn't I say the fourth draft would probably be it. Well, now I'm not so sure there won't be a sixth draft. I REALLY liked this story. Now I'm starting to hate it. Ugh. But I'm really learning how to revise. When it's done, it'll go to Glimmer Train Lit Journal.

More revising

2006-04-19T19:12:00.000-07:00

Time Spent: 1 hour.

Yes, I spent one hour working today. One whole hour. Aren't you proud of me?

I started my FIFTH draft of "Show You Love" today. Did I say a while ago that I thought the fourth draft might be alright? I was wrong. I keep finding things that need to be changed.

Tomorrow, more revising. Eventually, I'm going to quit revising and get these stories submitted.

Reading More Ninth Letter

2006-04-16T19:34:00.000-07:00

Time Spent; 1 hour, 15 minutes.

Happy Easter, I'm glad it's over. We traveled to Alton today - well, Liam and I, Jeff goes every weekend. Liam was not in the best of traveling moods, so it was not a good church day. This will get easier once we move, I know. But what does that say about your day when the best part of it was reading a literary journal in the car on the way to church? Yeah, that kind of day.

That's all I did today: read The Ninth Letter in the car on the way to church this morning. I really like it, but I can't decide if I want to submit to it yet or not. One of the fictional pieces I read today was really odd - it read like a photo collage, sans photos. But it was interesting. That's what I'd call experimental fiction, but I'm not sure they would. At any rate, I'm not quite sure about it yet, and their reading period is going to close soon, so I might order a few more recent copies, read them over the summer, and submit something more appropriate in September.

Again, Happt Easter, and God bless.

Draft Four of "Show You Love"

2006-04-14T22:24:00.000-07:00

Time Spent: 2 hours.

Finished revising draft four of "Show You Love" today. I like the progress I've made on it, but I think I'm going to have to do a fifth draft to really be happy with it. As far as I can tell, it's polished for grammar and punctuation. There are a couple of points in the storyline that still feel rough to me though, and I'm not sure how to go about fixing them. I had the same problem with "Journey," but I think I got it mostly cleaned up. This one is different - the problem I'm having is that I know what I want to say, and while I usually wrote exactly what I wanted to say, I'm not happy with the way I said it. And I'm having trouble fixing it so that it reads better. What I've said is clear and concise. I just don't like how it sounds.

It's close. I just KNOW it's close to being done. The additional problem now is that I've read it so many times over the past two days that I'm getting sick of it. That doesn't seem condusive to more revisions, ha.

I think I said a few weeks ago that it was hard to revise a story that I got a good grade on. Scratch that. I lied. I'm obviously finding things to change, or I wouldn't be complaining about the really hard parts.

It all starts with punctuation...

2006-04-13T22:40:00.000-07:00

Time Spent: 3 hours, 30 minutes.

Started off today by breaking out Adult Literacy in Writing, and I've decided that I'm never using a comma AGAIN! Comma splices, run on sentences, sentence fragments - ARGH! But I'm learning the rules for comma usage, and that's what I said I wanted to learn (it's not in my learning contract though, hahaha). Well, ok, the rules for punctuation in general, not just the irritating little commas.

Then I started revising "Show You Love" again, which I'll have to continue tomorrow. It's hard to revise a story when you have an energetic one-year-old trying to climb in your lap, but hey, I got something done.

Also updated Joanna and Dr. Cordell on March activities and where I am right now in my project.

There are two week left. What I really need now is more time. Oh, I'll get everything done. I just need time.

A hodge-podge day

2006-04-12T19:06:00.000-07:00

Time Spent: 5 hours, 15 minutes.

Today was one of those days where I worked on and off all day long, did a lot, yet feel like I got very little accomplished. Maybe it was the day of the neverending list - have you ever felt like you had one of those days?

Anyway, I printed out "Journey" and started working on the fourth draft. This learning to revise stuff is wild. Now that I KNOW (or at least I know more than I did four months ago) how to revise - what to look for - it's kind of driving me nuts. I'm seeing what kinds of bad things I do in my first drafts that I can only imagine that all writers do in their first drafts (makes me REALLY want to see first drafts of every Harry Potter or Sword of Truth!). Many weeks ago I said that revising was hard for me because I edit as I go along. That's the truth. I DO edit as I go along. Now I think revising is hard for me because I see so many things that need to be changed it drives me nuts. I know what to look for now though, so it's so much easier to point to something and see it differently.

I've mentioned before that "Journey" is one of my favorite stories. After I did the last revision, I scrapped the entire ending and changed it so it wasn't so fast. I really like what I did with it, but it made the story about three pages longer than the second draft. When I got done with today's revision, it ended up being a page shorter, but the beginning, which I felt needed some work, ended up a lot stronger. I'm going to let this sit for a few more days, then do one more draft and see if I think it's finally ready to submit. I think it might be ready, but still want to look at it to make sure it's polished.

I also looked through some of my contest listings, and there are quite a few that I think I want to submit to. Better still, there are a couple of lit journals that are seeking submissions, and those don't cost anything to submit (contests are a $5 minimum).

Ninth Letter, part 2

2006-04-08T21:24:00.000-07:00

Time Spent: 1 hour

Since I hadn't read much of the Ninth Letter before my visit yesterday, I decided I should read and familiarize myself with it in case I decide to submit to it instead of another journal.

Very interesting read. There's more poetry in it than I care for, but you can publish more poems than prose, and publish more authors that way.

Very easy day today.

Visit to the Ninth Letter

2006-04-07T21:35:00.000-07:00

Time Spent: 4 hours.

Today, Joanna and I spent time at The Ninth Letter at the UofI Urbana Campus. We talked quite a bit in the car and had lunch with one of the grad students, so it was a full day for us!

First, let me say that driving a car on Wright Street, less than 200 feet from the quad, on a warm Friday morning? Big mistake. Huge, large. Now, on to the story...

I talked with Jodee Stanley, the editor of the Ninth Letter, and two of the grad students who work there. I asked her the same questions I asked Richard Newman from River Styx. The answers are very similar:

Me: What kinds of submissions do you get?
JS: Get literary submissions, but also get art submissions. NL has been around for just a couple of years, and is a joint project between the Graduate English Program and the School of Art and Design.

Me:Do you respond personally to submissions?
JS:We have levels of responses. There's the standard response to most rejections, but we do send some personal responses if the MS generates interest. We'll encourage a writer to send a different work if we liked something that wasn't necessarily appropriate for the journal. Might work with an author on a specific MS if it's that good.

Me: Does one person make decisions regarding submissions or do you decide differently?
JS: First, poetry students read poetry and fiction students read fiction. Unsolicited items get in the slush box and are read in order - two no's gets an automatic rejection. If the reader likes it, it makes it into the weekly meeting and gets a personal note from us.

Me: What do you look for in a submission to accept it?
JS: Since we have such a range of esthetics in the students, everyone is looking for something different. The basics though are writing quality, something that's innovative or skewed, something that has a sense of investment - the story has to be written. There is no Ninth Letter style - we want to try something different with every issue.

Me: What might make you reject a submission?
JS: If something looks very similar to something we've already said yes to; the machanics of an issue help us decide as well. And then there's bad writing and stories that lack investment or spark.

Me: Do you think about your audience when putting the journal together, or do you accept what you like and think will work well in it?
JS: If we picked things only a few of us liked, the journal would have a very narrow focus. The student staff makes a case for works and when they do this, we'll consider a piece. If we like what's going in, we figure the audience will like it as well.

Me: Do you see any advantages or disadvantages to remaining a print journal vs. going to a completely online format, esp. with the Ninth Letter being so cutting edge?
JS: The website is run by the school of art and design and english assists them - online is a multimedia version of the journal. The print version is run by the English program, and the school of art and design assists. We're integrating a bit more now. This is a project instead of just a literary journal. The website has something from the print edition that's expanded.

Me: What are some of the best things about being an editor? What are some of the worst?
JS: Best - the hours are great. I don't work much in the summer when we're slow. I get to read a lot. Worst - stress, creative energy for editing takes away creative energy for writing, funding worries, and we're not sure how the journal is registering with the new chancellor and administration.
Amy: Best - the MFA program helps you develop a thicker skin. Worst - need to be invested and can get frustrated easily. It's also important for creative people to be professional, and you sometimes don't see that professional attitude.
Adam: Best - you learn to appreciate things not in your own esthetic and can abandon some judgments and preconceived notions. Worst - Sometimes the mental toll is as exhausting as doing physical labor.

Me: Is there anything you wish you had known before becoming and editor here? Would anything have changed your mind about it?
JS: May not have chosen to edit if I'd known how much it would have affected my writing.

A big thank you to Jodee, Amy, and Adam for tkaing time out of their busy schedules to meet with us. We appreciate it!

The Comma, Part 1

2006-04-03T20:12:00.000-07:00

Time Spent: 2 hours.

I mentioned several weeks ago (I think) that I wanted to learn to edit better. Last Tuesday while I was on campus, I picked up a copy of "Adult Literacy in Writing" or something like that. It's a writing tool written by UIS professor Nancy Perkins and her writing partner Loren Logsdon. I had thought about getting it for a few weeks but hadn't gotten around to it yet, and I happened to visit Dr. Cordell for a few minutes about the AST last Tuesday.

Now let me preface this by saying that when it comes to punctuation, I'm pretty good. I'm not saying that I don't need to improve at all, because I do, but punctuation has always come very naturally to me (maybe because I read so much and absorb it that way). But I DO have my moments, and it's usually because of a stupid little comma. Dr. Cordell has noticed this too. She's not only the UIS supervisor for the AST, I'm also in her science fiction class, and we recently had an essay due where I had a few minor problems with commas. So her comment to me was to get that book because I don't want people feeling that my creative writing could have been better because of a few misplaced commas.

OK, Dr. Cordell, I get it. And I got the book. :::snort::: I hope, if Dr. Cordell is reading this, that she knows I respect her opinion AND feel comfortable enough with her to give her a really hard time. HA!

Anyway, back to my story - so I started reading through this and doing some of the exercises today. This REALLY brought me back to, hmm, fifth grade maybe? I could see myself sitting through language arts and being taught grammar and punctuation.

And so what did I learn? Well, I learned the rules to comma usage, which is really the most important thing. No, I'm not going to go through them here - suffice it to say that while I'm mostly good with punctuation, I do find time to include a few comma splices.

Please don't try to find them in this blog.

Dust from her feet

2006-03-31T23:33:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 1 hour.

Today I continued revising a "Dust From Her Feet" while we drove to Champaign for my mom's birthday. There's so much going on these next few days that I'm stealing time wherever I can, even if it means I have to work in short bursts in the car.

I don't know that I honestly learned much today, but at least I got something done. And revising continues to get easier.

What a Night!

2006-03-28T23:25:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 4 hours.

WOW! Thanks to Joanna and everyone in her creative writing 2 class for allowing me to join them tonight and talk about my experience as the Writer-in-Residence. I really appreciate your willingness to listen to my ramblings and your great questions. Please feel free (this goes for everyone) to waltz through the archives so you can get a really good account of what this experience has been like for me.

So yeah, tonight I went to Joanna's class to talk to them about the above. That was fun. I was also allowed to stay for the rest of the class and take part in peer review which meant I got to help a few people with their short short stories, yay! (My apologies to Emelie for completely marking up her rough draft, tee hee hee)

They happened to be doing author's readings tonight, and both stories were from the stream-of-consciousness assignment. This was good for me because I've only had to write SOC once, and it was horrible. I didn't understand it (don't ask, I just didn't get it. I was missing something, but I didn't know what it was.) After reading the two stories tonight, I understand it a lot better. So I was a student tonight as much as anyone in the classroom.

For Creative Writing 2

2006-03-28T15:00:00.000-08:00

Hey Creative Writing 2!

First, thank you, Joanna, for giving me the opportunity to speak to everyone about my AST and being the Writer-in-Residence! This is very exciting for me, and I hope that some of what I talk about will help inspire the rest of you to do some wonderful things.

See the Applied Study Term Website for the most information regarding the AST. What I am doing for the AST is a little different in that the Creative Writing Applied Study Term is a self-directed and disciplined internship. I don't go anywhere but my home computer to do my work. And it IS work - for this project, I am doing everything a writer does, including research, writing, revising, and submitting. In addition, I'm doing all the school work for the class, a major portion being the journal (and this is it! If you want to look at EVERYTHING I'm doing during the course of the project, just take a look at the archives to the left). Here are a few of the major points for the AST:

+Every AST must be a minimum of eight weeks long.

+The journal is required (you don't have to blog like I'm doing. You don't even have to keep your journal on the computer, it can be old fashioned pen and paper if you like, but you DO have to keep the journal.)

+The AST can be used to fulfill the UIS requirement (like the PAC or LSC courses - and let me assure you, this AST is a lot more fun than either the PAC or LSC I took last semester...)
If you want more information, you can call or email the AST office. They can email you the general guidlines for the creative writing AST and you'll need to meet with them prior to them approving a creative writing AST.

The Writer-in-Residence is something that Joanna came up with. The AST office requires that students have a UIS supervisor and a Field Supervisor for their internships. Joanna graciously told me that she'd be my Field Supervisor, and then proceeded to rip my project proposal to shreds and offer me an alternative - which, BTW, was WAY better than what I had proposed. So instead of just writing a bunch of stories (my boring idea), I'm having too much fun writing a few new stories, but revising six previously written stories in preparation for submitting the MSs to literary journals or publishing companies. I've submitted two MS (children's books) to major publishing companies and have already received my first rejection letter - now THAT'S exciting! In the next few weeks we'll be going to visit the editors at River Styx in St. Louis and The Ninth Letter at the University of IL. And then towards the end of the semester (April 28) I'll be doing a public reading.

One of the best websites I've found comes from Writer's Digest and provides 101 links to help you in your journey as an author:

Writers Digest 101 Best Web Sites for Writers
Here are a couple of my favorite links within the site:

+Once Written.com contains lists of freebies, advice, contests, and daily writing prompts, among other things. This is an excellent site to visit when you have a chunk of free time you can devote to "research" (aka, surfing).

+Writer's Break.com has a ton of advice for authors, and it's all just common sense. You can sign up for a monthly newsletter here.

+Predators and Editors lists the good, the bad, and the truly ugly in the way of publishers, agents, contests, etc. P&E has a link to their (quite thorough) rating system that tells you why a site might get a poor rating. This site has been an eye opener: there is a publishing house that I thought I might like to submit to one day that is on the "avoid" list. After looking at the criteria, I'm wary of even buying a book from this publishing company since they don't seem too concerned about taking care of their authors. This also is handy in that it will usually say if a link is broken or the site hasn't been updated for quite a while.

I can't say enough about Writer's Digest magazine and website. It's been the source of some great information and advice.

Literature Buzz:
This is a great site that lists publishers, online and print lit journals, online and print poetry journals, and other things. The best advice I can give you for this site is be patient and have an open mind. You'll find a lot of broken links, a lot of journals that haven't updated for quite a while, and a lot of scary websites, but there are some really good links too. The literary magazines section alone has over 600 links and I'm still trying to get through all of them. Again, be patient, because you will find something that suits you.

During Creative Writing 2 last Spring (2005), we were given extra credit if we submitted one of our stories to a journal. All we had to do was submit, so I found a journal online,Toasted Cheese, and submitted. By some stroke of luck, my story became one of the Editor's Choice stories in the June 2005 issue:
Beautiful Medusa

2006-03-24T20:17:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 2 hours.

Not a very exciting AST day today. Yesterday while at River Styx, Richard gave me a copy of their 30th anniversary edition and I spent the day reading most of that.

Styx is pretty heavy on poetry. I don't mind poetry, but I'd rather read prose. Poetry takes more concentration than I want to give it. But some of the poems are very good.

This is the second issue of River Styx I've read and I really like this journal. I wish it had more prose, but what it has, even though it's only four or five stories, is very good. The most interesting thing I'm learning from reading journals, particularly this one, is about creative non-fiction. I'm becoming more and more interested in trying to write some of that. I think it would be more difficult; after all, it's truth, but you have to write it so it's interesting. I don't know that my life is that interesting. But it would certainly be worth the effort.

I wish I could say more than this, but like I said above, not a very exciting day. The reading period for River Styx begins May 1, and I think I'm going to submit to it. I know I don't have anything about writing (ha), but I hope my work wouldn't be considered mediocre. Is it bad of me to hope that they'd consider my work more because I've met with the editor? No, seriously, I want any work I do to be considered because it's good. But a girl can dream about getting the easy way out, right? ::snort:::

A visit to River Styx

2006-03-23T22:14:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 1 hour (not counting travel time - I don't need the hours that badly...)

Following is a hastily typed transcript of the ?s I asked Richard Newman, editor of River Styx literary journal in St. Louis.

Me: What kinds of submissions do you get?
RN: Submissions come from all over the country and from other parts of the world. About 80% are medicre, 5% are truly bad.

Me: Do you respond personally to submissions?
RN: Try to respond in some way, even if it just a "Sorry and Thanks." If they don't get anything from us, then it probably means they're being published, in which case they're happy not to hear from us.

Me: What kind of reading structure do you have?
RN: Might read some submissions aloud in editorial meetings. We also have outside readers who come in once a week or so. There are also a few readers outside the STL area who help a bit. Submission are accepted if they have less than three "no's" given to them.

Me: What do you look for in a submission in order to accept it?
RN: Something that stands out as particularly imaginative or unique, something that has a distinctive voice. Not the usual stuff we get - especially not something that is about writing (for example, a story about a writer, or about the writing process, anything involving writing. They apparently get a lot of those...)

Me: Do you think about your audience when you accept pieces or do you accept what you like and think will work for that issue?
RN: Have a diverse audience, so don't really try to do polls or surveys or pick for the audience. We pick what we like and go with it.

Me: Do you see any advantages to remaining a print journal instead of switching to an online journal? Any disadvantages?
RN: Obviously, the biggest advantage to e-journals is that there's no cost, but most people would rather read something in print when they're in bed at night than sit at their computer and read. Also, I think it's easier to do a themed issue in print.

Me: What are some of the best things about being an editor and what are some of the worst?
RN: Best - it's a lot of fun, the people are great; I've made a lot of friends through other journals and through working relationships here. Worst - Tired of reading other people's work and would rather focus on my own. I'm not up to date on what's already published. The pay is bad. I'm always behind on work here. And we rely solely on funding.

Me: Is there anything you wish you had known before becoming an editor or working at a journal?
RN: How sensitive people are; I would have learned a lot sooner not to send comments on rejections to the authors.

Me: Any final thoughts?
RN: Lit journals are the trenches of the literary world. Publishing is a process. Sometimes the best thing an author can do is to get into the trenches by volunteering to read submissions. Volunteering at a journal is a good way to see what the business is like. See if you can do reading, proofreading, editing, assemblage. Magazines need readers.

Thank you, Richard, for allowing me to see River Styx and taking time out of your busy schedule to speak with me. I learned a lot and appreciate your generousity!

It's Spring - What's with this Snowstorm?!?!?

2006-03-21T22:05:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 5 hours.

I was supposed to go to campus tonight and talk to Joanna's CW2 class about this project and flash fiction. After tweaking "Styx" for the final draft and working more on "Show You Love," I worked more on prep for tonight. Only to have night classes cancelled at 2:45. Damn. I was really looking forward to tonight!

I was also supposed to meet Dr. Cordell and Joanna on campus for my site visit, which needed to get done two weeks ago. Instead, we did the site visit through email, which was an absolute riot. Now I just need to work on my mid-term evaluation.

Spent the rest of the night preparing a bit for my visit with Richard Newman at River Styx on Thursday, trying to work out questions I'm going to ask him. Talked to Joanna on the phone after the flurry of email and got some ideas to start me out, then thought of some more questions that might be appropriate. I'm nervous about the visit, but also excited. We also moved my CW2 class visit to next Tuesday the 28th. The weather better cooperate...

Tinkering with tough pieces

2006-03-16T22:55:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 5 hours, 15 minutes.

I finished my contest story today. The final word count? 746. HA! That'll show THEM to set a minimum word count, LOL.

I also started revising a story I wrote in CW1 called "Show You Love." It's about a woman's pregnancy and the birth of her child. This is the one I talked about revising yesterday for Literary Mama.com, and I've really enjoyed going back through it and seeing how it progressed. I should say I finished revising it, from graded hard copy to computer file. I think I'll let it sit for a few days then look it over again for anything I might have missed.

This story was difficult to revise. I got a REALLY good grade on the final draft, and there weren't many spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors in it. The story itself didn't really need tinkering. What I did though was clean up the passive verbs and made them more active. A lot of what I've read about revising has said to do this very thing, to make the verbs stronger. For example, an original sentence read, "Her stomach was churning, fists flexing, and she started to say whatever came to her mind when it came, instead of making sense." The revised sentence reads, "Her stomach churned, fists flexed, and she said whatever came to her mind whether or not it made sense." The second sentence is much stronger, not to mention less wordy. Yet another great reason to let drafts sit for a while before revising.

I'm still learning to revise. I still don't like doing it, but it's much easier and much more enjoyable now that I have a better idea of what I'm looking for, what I should change. I think - judging from what I've read - that revising is something one learns to do over the course of a lifetime. There's always room for tinkering, but eventually one has to quit fixing and say it's complete. I don't know that this one's complete, but I'm certainly ready to quit tinkering.

On a sort of related note, I just calculated my hours so far for the project. I need 160 clock hours to finish the AST, and I just passed the 100 hour mark today, with 100 hours and 30 minutes. YAY! Which means I've caught up and really DO have the opportunity to get ahead the rest of this week.

Writing with a prompt

2006-03-15T21:01:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 5 hours.

Suddenly I feel like everything I do is turning into one huge blur! What did I do today?

Last week I decided I needed to do some writing prompts to get things going. Had I done anything about it yet? Nope. As I was going through my email to weed through writing contests and calls for submissions, I found one from Writer's Digest about a contest over at Fan Story.com that uses a picture as a writing prompt. It's an amazing picture, and I immediately had an idea for a story. Alrighty then, I can do this. So that's what I spent the majority of my time doing today - writing a new story. The guidelines say that the story has to be a minimum 700 words - that was the tough part. I really, REALLY wanted to make this into true flash fiction (<500 words), but I know I can do it within the required minimum. Might not be much more than that, we'll see. Anyway, I'm going to do my best to finish it up tomorrow so it can sit a day or so before I try to revise it. The contest ends March 25, so I'll have one more submission down by the end of next week. As far as writing goes today, it was very productive and I learned that I really can work with writing prompts.

Since I got out the 101 Best Websites for writers list again on Tuesday, I also spent some time going through a few more of them tonight. Found a couple of neat sites for mothers, the best one is Literarymama.com. I spent a good chunk of time going through the website, which is for mothers who also happen to be writers, or the other way around.

I've been struggling to decide which other stories I'm going to revise and submit. There are a couple that are favorites and I really want to get them out there, but I've found a few places to submit that might be appropriate for them. But I had to decide on two, maybe three, more stories to revise and submit. LitMama was a great place to find - it publishes fiction about motherhood, and I have a couple of stories that deal with that. Finding this got the process going again and I think I'm going to get out one of those stories tomorrow and start revising.

Preparing to Talk to CW2.

2006-03-14T23:09:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 5 hours.

Ah yes, more catch up. Fortunately, it's Spring Break and I'm on vacation, so I have plenty of time to get caught up. My goal for this week is 25 hours for my AST. I haven't totaled my hours lately, but this should put me slightly ahead of schedule. Which is a great thing. Next week, the crap hits the fan - from here on out I am busy, busy, BUSY with school. Tuesday I'm visiting Joanna's creative writing class to talk about flash fiction and the AST. Thursday we visit River Styx in STL. In about three weeks we'll go to Urbana to visit The Ninth Letter, then the public reading is the 28th of April. And I still have to do all of the AST work (site visit, midterm, final) and my work for other classes as well. Just thinking about all of it makes me short of breath. There's so much to do. PLENTY of time to do it all, that's not the problem. It's just so much, and I really have to pace myself and stay disciplined, or it won't get done. It's got to get done. Breathe in, breathe out. OK, that's a little better. Repeat as necessary.

Sunday I also bought the newest issue of Writers' Journal Magazine. The headlines are great: "Stop Procrastinating" and "Shut Up and Write." Ha. It's like it was specially written just for me. ::snort::: No, I'm sure I'm not the only writer who needs to hear those things. The first two articles were on rejection letters/finding the right publisher for your story - timely, considering I received my first rejection letter for "The Monster Under the Bed" in the mail today. It was actually kind of exciting, as far as being rejected goes, because hey, you gotta start somewhere, right? Jeff said we'd get a photo album or something for all my rejection letters so that when I do get something published, we can look back at them and laugh. I really thought I'd be upset, at least some, but I'm not. I'm surprised I heard back so quickly - they said they looked at it, but honestly, I wonder. ::chuckle::: But that's alright. Anyway - the best thing I read yesterday was "don't take it personally," so I'm not. And the tips on beating procrastination were good as well. I'll need to cut that article out and stick it on every wall of my house, I think.

As I said, next Tuesday I'll visit the creative writing 2 class and talk about some things I'm doing for this project, so that's what I spent a good chunk of time working on. I dug out my WD Writer's Yearbook 2006 from January and made a list of some of the good sites they could look at to help them in their writing endeavors. I'll mention Lit Buzz some (and remind them that looking through all those broken links takes immense patience and an open mind - you know, I'm STILL only about 2/3 of the way through all those links, and that's just the literary journals section. There's a whole section on publishers and ezines in there too). I'll also tell them a little about the Applied Study program and how my project fits into it, then of course I talk to them about my love of flash fiction. I'm nervous about speaking to them, but I'm looking forward to it as well. I think I still have a few more hours of work to do before I'm really prepared, but I have plenty of time to prepare.

But it's good to look at what I've done so far because it shows me exactly what I've been learning from this project. It's shown me what I want to go back and look at again, what I need to look at a first time, and what I can tell them works or doesn't work.

A Trip to Borders

2006-03-13T19:52:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 2 hours.

Just as I said in Saturday's post, we were in STL yesterday (incidentally, missing the tornado that swept through Springfield, wrecking the Southwest to East part of town - I should post pictures we took on our way back from Decatur today. It's a mess here, but as far as I know, no casualties, thank God!) and I went to Borders out by Galleria. This might not seem newsworthy to you, but all we have here in town is Barnes and Noble (which may be closed for a while, depending on the extent of storm damage). So this was my first Borders trip, in a completely different city to boot.

Very productive. They had twice as many writer's resources as B&N - including a copy of River Styx, which I'm visiting next week. YAY! I can actually read the journal and be prepared for the trip, which is all I did today.

Reading print journals has been a good experience for me, helping me to really open my mind. I think I've mentioned that these aren't the sorts of things that I would normally read. Most of the journals say in their submission guidelines that they don't publish genre fiction, which is more in the realm of what I usually read. I have read all the journals I've bought from front to back (well, except for the poetry, I haven't read all of it - I don't want to think THAT much) and there is some really good work, but honestly, I think River Styx is the best one I've read. I got one of the 2005 issues (probably the last one of the year), and there is a story in there about a college dropout who befriends a teenager in a small MA town, and together they explore the little town. It doesn't sound so exciting from my summary, but it was a very good story.

So this was good preparation for my visit to River Styx. I'll be able to say that I have, in fact, read the journal, and that it's good! I may dig through it again for a close read and see if I can come up with some really good questions about "why this particular story?" or "why this author?"

Yet More Research

2006-03-11T21:00:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 2 hours.

As the title of this post suggests, I did more journal research today. I wish I could think of something new to say about it, but that's what the last 16 million posts have been about. I think you probably know the drill by now.

We're going to St. Louis tomorrow and I'll be heading to the Borders out by Galleria to see if they have any interesting journals or writer's magazines there that we don't get in Springfield. Maybe that will prove more interesting than Lit Buzz.

Journal Research (still...)

2006-03-10T21:57:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 2 hours

Yes, more journal research today. That wasn't the interesting part though.

In my research, I got to this journal: Image: Art, Faith, Mystery, a Christian faith based journal. While I was looking around, I found a link to Seattle Pacific University's MFA in Creative Writing program.

The whole reason for doing an AST, as I understand it, is exploring a career before one actually gets into said career. As someone who isn't going to graduate at the innocent age of twenty-two without any serious job experience, I think this is a fantastic idea. I wish I'd been able to do that with a few of the jobs I've had in the past - I would have known to run screaming from the building and not turn back at the end of the experience. The AST allows one to work in a real setting, not just a plce where one is a "college intern." The student is expected to do real work and learn the job.

So what does this have to with me? For all intents and purposes, I'm an author right now. I'm doing the things authors do - writing, submitting, researching, and learning. Sometimes part of the learning is going further in school, which is what I'd eventually (sooner rather than later) like to do. I'd LOVE to do a MFA in creative writing. See this link to SPU actually made me cry - this is almost the whole of what I'd like to do. I've been torn, the past year or so, about what to do in regards to a Master's degree. I've always felt called to go to seminary, but I'd really love to get that MFA. SPU, as a Christian university, has this philosophy for their CW MFA program: "The low-residency MFA at SPU is a creative writing program for apprentice writers—both Christians and those of other traditions—who not only want to pursue excellence in the craft of writing but also place their work within the larger context of the Judeo-Christian tradition of faith." This is what I want to do!!! And I got so excited, I cried. The low residency program is a plus as well - instead of being on campus all the time, I could do this while still living and working in IL, and would only have to go to Seattle twice a year for the seminars. Sounds perfect. Anyone want to help me convince my husband that I should do it now instead of in two or three years?

So this has been the learning portion of the AST for today. Part of a job is continuing education and it's no different for writers.

Journal Research (more...)

2006-03-09T21:00:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 3 hours, 30 minutes.

Yes, more delightful journal research again today. I'm officially halfway through the litbuzz list, which is nice. Same old same old: more broken links, more dead journals, a few great possibilities. I read a wonderful, brilliant story about a homeless man today, but I didn't bookmark the story itself and so now I have to go through all my history to find this story so I can put a link in here. I'll try to remember to do that another day.

I've started to see more journals that are appealing. I think what will happen is I'll narrow it down to several really promising journals (which I've bookmarked), then go back and study those journals again to decide which ones hold the most promise.

Tomorrow - more reasearch!

Journal Research

2006-03-07T18:17:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 2 hours.

Just to get this out of the way: Yes, I DO have my 2 disc special edition of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and I wasn't the first person at Walmart to grab a copy. I'm not the only weird person shopping for HP at 12 am, so there. :-P

So today, more research on journals. I have a feeling I'm going to be doing that a lot until I'm done with this list on Lit Buzz, and as of right now I'm still only about half way through that list. Many more broken links, many more links that have dead journals (or at least not updated for a couple of years), but a few more productive web sites with some really good work.

I'm learning patience right now. I want to just get this submitting thing done and out of the way, but one of the keys to getting published is submitting to an appropriate place and I want to make sure I do that. And I don't want to just submit anywhere, either. I've seen a few journals that have some really good work, then I'll read something that might be considered objectionable by some people or that I find objectionable myself. I know that most journals are going to have something in them that offends someone, but I still want to be careful with what I do.

(Writing) Exercises are Good for Me!

2006-03-06T21:13:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 3 hours.

I should just leave this for tomorrow, but I've caught a second wind and need to make this quick because I need to go to WalMart still. I know, I know, it's late (11:14 pm here in the midwest) but I promised myself that I would buy Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire as soon as it came out on March 7. That's approximately 45 minutes. I DO have my priorities, and y'all should have known by now that I'm a huge Harry Potter fan (did you MISS the part about Bloomsbury USA the first ten times I wrote it? ).

Anyway - today, researched a few more links, lots more broken ones, a few good ones, a few out of that that hold some promise. You know, there are some really weird people out there...

I also attended my first meeting of SCBWI - Springfield at Barnes and Noble. We did quite a bit at the meeting, but if there was one thing I really got out of it, it was the writing exercises.

I hate writing exercises. I hated them the first time we had to do them in creative writing 1. I hated having to do them in creative writing 3. I hated the few we had to do online for creative writing 2. So it should come as no surprise that I've not done one writing exercise since starting this AST. HA! Well, I should be doing them, because I ALWAYS get something out of it. Tonight was no exception. We had to do two short ones. Lo and behold, I've finally got an idea for that children's book I wanted to write about Fletcher, my nephew ("The Monster Under the Bed" and "The Snowdragon" star all his older siblings). I'm a schmuck, what can I say? So I think tomorrow I'll be signing up for daily writing exercises. See, I learned something brand new. And I'm also going to find all my old writing exercises and see what I can make of them.

Ok, I have to go now. I really DO have to go to Walmart, for stuff other than GoF. but mainly for that! Happy Harry watching!

Catching up is hard to do.

2006-03-05T21:00:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 5 hours.

Yeah, that's right, five, count em F-I-V-E hours today. This is what happens when you get behind - you get to play catch up. I think my eyes are bleeding. No, seriously. Or maybe that's my sanity, leaking out in my tears.

Ok, enough melodrama. Like I said, catching up, and I did a lot of it. I spent most of the time researching journals. Last week I found a site called Literature Buzz that has somewhere around 2000 links (no, really) for journals, poetry, etc. It's completely nuts. So I'm thinking this would be a great place to find some journals that might be good places to send MS submissions.

I found a few. I'm not even halfway through the list (I spent a good four hours looking at links and I'm not even halfway - I told you there were a lot of links!) and a good portion of those were broken links, a good portion were links that still had a journal on them but the site hadn't been updated for quite a while. But there were a few good ones that hold some promise. And there are still quite a few more links to go through before I'm done looking.

What else did I do? Oh yeah, wrote a story. A piece of flash that's still untitled, I think. I know what the running title is, but I don't think that's the official title.

I'm putting my fried brain to bed now. Ugh. And I'll be doing this at least one more time during the week, if not twice.

Voice

2006-03-04T16:00:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 3 hours.

I picked up the latest copy of The Writer lit magazine a few days ago and finally got a chance to read it. Lots of intersting things in there, including a great article on creating conflict in children's literature. Other things of interest: "Practical wisdom for beginning writers", an article reviewing a book called Writing Brave and Free, which looks like something I'm interested in reading. The reviewer says it reads as easily as one of those Dummies guides and has excellent advice on everything writing related. And finally, an interview with poet Billy Collins, whose advise to writers on finding their voice is this: "I think you find your voice when you quit censoring yourself. It isn't external. It's inside you. The reason the young writer isn't using it is the voice is being suppressed, usually because of some kind of decorum. I ask young writers to examine themselves. What are you keeping out of your writing? Allowing those things into your writing is ultimately how you find your voice." (The Writer, April 2006, pg66)

The above really struck me because I'm not sure if I've found my voice yet. I have many things I like to write about, some things more than others, but like any writer, I have a desire to be fresh and new with what I'm creating. I don't want to fake my way through writing - by that, I mean I want who I am to come through in my writing, not something I've made up. Yet, is who I am good enough for the literary world? That's been a serious question on my mind lately. When it comes to essays, I am an extremely strong writer, but when it comes to creative writing, I'm not so sure yet. And I'm starting to feel like Carrie Bradshaw, so I'm going to shut my yap about that for right now. At any rate, it demands a bit more looking at.

Other stuff - looked at more online journals. That's about all for today. Tomorrow, more lit journals and some SERIOUS catching up with time - I'm sure you've noticed that I'm several hours behind for the week. I was stressed earlier in the week over a paper for another class. This week, I catch up and get ahead. Or else!

"Antithesis Common"

2006-02-26T19:00:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 3 hours, 15 minutes.

More journal research today. I think I've found another place to submit,Antithesis Common. AC is an online journal that was just started last fall. I read through both issues yesterday, and there are some really good pieces in each. I think this would be a great one for me to send a story to - because it's so new, I might have a better chance of getting published (I'm not holding my breath, but it's an interesting theory, LOL), and the editorial staff sends a critique of every author's submissions back to the author, whether or not s/he gets published. THAT'S the draw right there - getting a critique of my work from the editors. As much as I want to send "journey" to Glimmer Train for a contest, I think it might have a good chance at Antithesis Common.

I also spent time looking through graded stories from creative writing 2 last spring. There are a couple that I think are really good and have some potential, but there's one in particular that I'm not sure is appropriate for any journal I've researched so far. I'll spend some more time thinking and researching - maybe there's a market out there. Maybe it's a contest piece. I don't know. Maybe it's one I keep for a collection that seems to be slowly writing itself. At any rate, there are at least two more that look like they can be revised to make a very polished story. I have my work cut out for me.

Journal Research

2006-02-25T19:30:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 1 hour, 30 minutes.

Now that I've submitted the children's stories and my focus isn't so much on submitting to publishing houses, I've started reasearching - hard! - lit journals to submit my short stories to. It's been easy to find journals just by looking on the web, but it's been difficult to find a journal that would be appropriate for me to submit my stories to.

I don't have a very exciting strategy for finding one. I have a list of journals and I just hit each link and study the journal for awhile by reading stories (if available) and studying each journals submission guidelines. Simple, but effective. The only journal I'm sure I'll submit to is Glimmer Train, and that won't be until at least April for their general submission period (they also have three contests I want to submit to, but the contest submissions periods don't start until May 1).

I think what I'm learning right now is patience with myself. I don't have much experience with lit journals, and finding one that would be appropriate for me to submit to is really a process of trial and error.

Lit Journals

2006-02-23T23:06:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 4 hours

I think doing this project on a daily basis is like exercise: if you do it everyday, you can do it longer every day. Which explains why I did four hours of research in front of the computer today.

The first hour was spent looking at campus calendars and places for the public reading. Being married with a small child, I have to make sure that all schedules coordinate and I can get child care if I need it. So this was all a part of trying to look at dates and times that I can DO this thing. Then I had to look at the possible places on campus and find out if their schedules worked with mine. Having done all that, the final step was to email Joanna back and let her know the dates that would work. If they do, then this AST project will be going out with a huge bang on April 28th. We'll see. If you're wondering what I learned from this process, it's this: schedule EARLY!

The next three hours I researched journals to submit to. I was pretty excited to Google the phrase "literary journals" and get handed a whole website with links to about sixty different online journals. Some of them are pretty conservative, some are pretty cool, and some are just plain weird. (Would you have ever thought that a journal called syntax played to the "twilight zone" crowd, or a journal called "clean sheets" was actually a journal that specializes in erotica? Hello! Those were two surprises I didn't need...) But I found some promising places that "journey" might fit into pretty well. Since I'm not sure what I'm revising next, but better get on the stick and decide, I couldn't keep anything in mind for another piece. Thank God for bookmarks.

Ok, I've just fallen asleep at the keyboard. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow, maybe I'[ll get to some actual drafting, but as I have to go to the bad place (work), I doubt it. Good night.

Revising Journey

2006-02-22T20:45:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 2 hours, 30 minutes.

I spent all my time today revising "Journey." No seriously, I did. Two and a half hours of revisions. Holy cow.

I've mentioned before that I'm not terribly good with revisions. I edit as I write, which is probably a huge time waster, but I like to blame it on my slightly type-A personality. It drives me nuts as I do it, but I do it anyway. This makes it more difficult for me to do revisions because I figure that what I've already written is good enough.

Wrong. That's why waiting awhile to revise has become a great tool for me. I wrote a few days ago in a self-evaluation that this allows me to look at what I've written with fresh eyes that aren't sick to death of the subject matter. And it's been only recently that I learned this.

I'll admit it - I went into this AST absolutely dreading doing revisions. I didn't think I was up to it. I'm still not sure that I am, but having done three now (and the first two were so short that they really just needed polishing), I feel a little better about the whole thing. After having spent most of my time Monday with pen to paper making changes on the graded hard copy, it was much easier to sit down at the computer and makes changes. I even re-wrote the ending. My creative writing instructor said that the ending moved too fast; for the type of story it is, I think I agree. But as the final draft of this story was due eight days before I gave birth to my son, I'm cutting myself some major slack, ha. All told, the revised version of "journey" has another four pages of prose tacked on to it. I've changed some obviously very telling parts to what I hope are parts that show instead. I've changed names. I've done research and added details where appropriate. It's been fun. It's challenged me.

"Journey" is one of my favorite stories I've written, I think because of the setting (which was the point of the assignment). I'm really glad that I gave it time to sit around before revising it, because I think I've made it an even better story. I'll be looking for journals to submit it to in the next few days - time will tell if I'm right or not.

Revisions - ARGH!

2006-02-20T22:10:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 2 hours, 15 minutes.

I worked today, so all of my AST work happened there. Normally I would revise on my home computer, but I took the graded hard copy of "Journey" to work with me and revised right on it. I kind of like that system - it allows me to see comments on my work and change things with those comments in mind.

But what a process. I can see why the comments were made (mostly, "show, don't tell," ha) and know what I need to do to improve, but it's still a long process. There are two sentence passages in the story that I was spending twenty minutes working on. After a while, that kind of thing gets tiring.

An interesting thing happened while I was working on a self-evaluation for my Capstone class. I wrote, "I think the best part of this assignment was being able to pick up a paper which I haven't read for over a year and seeing the changes I needed to make with fresh eyes. Revisions are incredibly difficult for me, and I've learned that I need time to pass before I make revisions. I need to read things I've written with eyes that aren't sick to death of the subject matter. I've been focusing on creative writing for the past three semesters, and what I've learned about revisions and peer review in that area has carried over to my other classes and helped me write better essays." That's a good thing to see myself say because I really hate doing revisions. I know when I read something I've written after a passage of time that I'm going to see the need for improvement. And it's really nice to see the changes I've made and feel good about them.

Tomorrow, typing those revisions. I hope I can read my handwriting.

Submitting a Chldren's story: Stage 3.

2006-02-19T21:47:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 1 hour, 30 minutes.

I didn't do quite as much today since I was out of town, but I got a little bit done.

I spent the first thirty minutes looking at all the places on campus that could host the public reading later in the semester. I'm not 100% sure yet, but I'm leaning towards having it in Brookens auditorium. It's supposed to be a smaller place, which think will be more comfortable for me. I get stage fright so easily. I'm really excited about doing the reading, but I'm not sure how I'm going to get through it! I'll spend some time this week looking at dates.

I picked up the newest copy of Writer's Digest last night and read part of that in the car. I think the most important thing I learned from WD (so far) in this issue is to watch my grammar. There was a very interesting little quiz in the first few pages that gave different ways to say something and the reader had to decide which way was correct. Happily, I got most of the answers right, but this has only served to reinforce that I really need to work on clarity and grammar in my writing. It's not that I'm bad with these things, but in the first draft it all just comes out. I edit while I'm writing, but some of these things can only be caught in a revision state. This is all part of the process. (Mostly it's fun, but sometimes I do get sick of the process, ha.)

And Friday? I sent out my first two submissions. "The Monster Under the Bed" and "The Snowdragon" are now in the fine care of the United States Postal Service and should be in several New York slush piles by Tuesday.

And THAT'S exciting!!!!!

Submitting a Children's Story: Stage 2

2006-02-16T21:04:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 3 hours

I spent the day polishing and printing query letters, touching up "The Monster Under the Bed" and "The Snowdragon" and printing multiple copies of both,and putting everything together to send out to publishers. They're ready. This is really it.

Now technically, I sent my first query letter out today by email, to Simon and Schuster. It got returned because the postmaster said it couldn't find the recipient, but so what? Haha, I guess I'll just send that out by snail mail.

In creative writing 1, we had to write a story based on a setting of our choosing. It could even just be that the story took place in this particular spot. For my setting, I chose, which is quite possibly my favorite place in the world. I'm in the process of revising that story now, titled "Journey," and I decided to do some more research on Tybee just to make sure I get all my details right. I looked at a map of the island a lot and also the website for. I'm ashamed to admit that I've never been to the Breakfast Club, but I when I'm on Tybee, I'd rather be on the beach than eating breakfast - if I'm going to be up that early, I'm collecting shells that have come in from high tide. Anyway, I really love this particular story, and it's been fun to reread it a couple of times and look at all the comments that were made on it, and then work on the improvements.

I think what I've learned most today is that I'm SO much better now at showing things instead of just telling them. I think every creative writing student (I don't think I'm just speaking for myself here) gets really frustrated hearing or seeing "show, don't tell." But then you write enough, and practice it enough, that it starts to come to you naturally. Instead of thinking "I need to show this particular thing because I need to show and not tell," I think now, "How can I describe this thing? How can I show that someone's sad, or angry or nervous? How do *I* feel when I would describe myself as one of these things?" It's not so much a conscious effort anymore because I've had that practice. And yet it's still something I need to practice and need to learn every time I sit down at the computer to write a piece of fiction.

Odds and Ends

2006-02-14T21:16:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 2 hours.

I took time today to get some things done other than research (which I did) and writing (which I didn't, I'm a slacker). I mentioned not long ago that one of my site visits will be to at the University of Illinois in Urbana-Champaign.

So today, I was finally able to get ahold of Joanna (busy woman!) and find out what dates worked for her for us to try and get to . Dates in mind, I emailed Richard Newman and voila! We are setting out for STL on March 23. I'm pretty excited about this visit. River Styx is an independent journal instead of one affiliated with a college, so it will be nice to get that different "flavor." College is great, don't get me wrong, but it will be wonderful to spend some time away from a college influence, ha.

Other fun things Joanna and I talked about: I know I mentioned the whole Writer-in-Residence thing, but apparently the English Department liked it so well that it's an Official Thing: I'm the first University of Illinois as Springfield Writer-in-Residence for the English Department. That's pretty darn amazing. The department is even going to help with the public reading I'm doing (later in the semester) because they think this is such a good thing. I'm so excited. So that moves us into the public reading. No date set yet, but Joanna told me to look at dates and gave me a list of places on campus that I could do it. I'll be looking at that later in the week.

Finally, more research, checking on some details on the places I'm submitting the children's stories to. And I set up a gmail account because I need an email account that I'll be able to access from the web and is reliable (my ameritech account is getting less and less so, yippee.)

Submitting a Children's Story: Stage 1

2006-02-13T22:11:00.000-08:00

Time Spent: 2 hours, 15 minutes.

The first things I'll submit will be two children's stories I've written in the past couple of semesters. I'll be sending them to real live publishing houses. I've mentioned before that Bloomsbury USA is at the top of my list. Simon and Schuster is a very close second (they've published Shel Silverstein, and he's possibly one of my favorite poets/authors/illustrators - I also just learned yesterday that some of his work is with S&S, so good for me on learning something new!).

I mentioned only a few weeks ago that I downloaded the Children's Book Council member list and went through it, marking those houses that accepted unsolicited MSs and which ones wanted queries first, then going to each of the web sites. Well, today I downloaded the February List from the CBC and did it all again to make sure nothing had changed, making even closer notes of each houses' specific requirements.

And so here's the exciting news: I think I've finally learned enough about submissions procedures for children's books that I'm ready to submit both of them. I'll send one story to five house, and the other to the other five houses. Today, in an effort to get ready, I addressed 9 x 12 envelopes - big enough for a MS to fit in !!!!!!!! That was exciting. It's really happening. Maybe nothing will ever come of these submissions, but you know what? Maybe something WILL come of them. This is REAL, people, this is really happening. This is what every published author has had to go through, and I'm in awe that I'm actually doing it.

I honestly don't know what I learned today, but I'm damn excited to be applying what I've been learning!!!!!